Title: One Night
Author: Melissa Flores - mistiec_flores@yahoo.com
Genre: Angel/Cordelia
Rating : R for sexual situations
Teaser : Cordelia and Angel receive a gift from the PTB, but is it a blessing, or can it be a curse in disguise?
Notes: A sequel to Moments Like These, and an unofficial prequel to "First Night." But it can also be a standalone. First Night is in the beta phase, where I go scene by scene, outline the entire story, and make sure it stands up to the plot and coherency, before I plunge headfirst and stay up late without sleep to finish it. This is a cure for the frustration.

Dedication: For Hayley.

~*~

Artist: The Corrs

Title: One Night

Album: In Blue

Long day and I'm ready - I'm waiting for your call

'Cos I've made up my mind - My heart aches with a hunger

no want that you were mine - No I cannot deny

So for one night is it allright - That I give you

My heart - my love - my heart

Just for one night

My body - my soul

Just for one night

My love - my love

For one night - one night - one night

When morning awakes me - Well I know I'll be alone

And I feel I'll be fine - So don't you worry about me

I'm not empty on my own - For inside I'm alive

That for one night - it was so right

That I gave you My heart - my love - my heart

Just for one night

My body - my soul

Just for one night

My love - I loved for one night - one night - one night

For one night - it was so right

That I gave you my heart - my love - my heart

~*~

There was pounding, there was shouting. I cried out and my body lost control and as the flashes began to invade my body, my very senses, I could dimly feel the familiar pull into the embrace of the vampire, holding me tightly as I jerked and spasmed.

My eyes closed shut , and my mind flooded, and I flailed back, head knocking against his chest and the images filled my mind.

Heat... warmth... sweat...

There was moaning and happiness and-

Oh, God.

It was me... It was me that was naked, and it was my head that was thrown back, MY body bathed in sweat, and my mouth that was making those moaning sounds as my hands slid over a hard chiseled chest, felt the movement under me as the hips rolled, bucked, and I rode them, feeling the invasion, feeling my body splinter, the warmth spread through my body, felt the sweaty hands gripping my waist, keeping me in the rhythm.

And my heart was ready to burst right alongside the rest of me as I opened my eyes and looked down to find intense dark eyes looking up at me, shaking fingers reaching for my own.

Our fingers caught and held and I smiled breathlessly, reaching down to capture Angel's mouth in my own for one lusty kiss-

ANGEL.

The vision jerked away from my body and I reeled with it, my senses coming back to me when I reached out blindly, feeling the hard body cradling me against it. My fingers shook and they tangled in the dark fabric, my body flushed and my eyes wide open and GOD-

"Water! Get her some water!"

My eyes closed and I pushed my face into his chest, holding him with all my waning strength as the vampire held me close. I barely felt him leading me to the chair until I was pushed into it, his hands on my knees, and I just KNEW that if I looked up those dark brown eyes would be searching my face, and then the questions would start.

Oh, God.

The reality of what had just hit me shuddered through me. My hands went to my face and I kept them there, breathing in and out and trying to shield myself from the world, from them... from HIM.

"Cordy, wha'd you see?"

"Are you all right?"

I shuddered again, and every sense was tingling and when the glass of water was pushed into my hands I took it without looking up.

What the hell had just happened?

"Cordy, wha'd you see?"

"Wesley give her some air." The hands on my knees now moved to my hands, and fingers closed around my palms, kneading gently. My heart was pounding, and I knew he could hear it, the same way I knew he could hear the rushing of my blood through my veins.

I couldn't look at him, my face felt so hot and I knew it must have been red as a cherry.

Okay, that SO was NOT the right fruit to pick at this moment.

"I..." There was no pain... no painful vision aftermath... no headache... just that warm... hot, searing building in my abs and my stomach and his fingers rubbing against mine were SO NOT HELPING.

"LET me go!" I hissed, snatching my hands back and pulling my knees up to my chest, holding them to me, trying so hard to bar myself from him, from everyone.

"Cordy."

That was what did it. The hitch at the end of his voice, the slip of his tone that told me there was emotion caught at the back of his throat, and it was hurting him.

I swallowed, took a breath, and opened my eyes to find the group staring at me, eyes intense, dark, all dark eyes, kneeling down and around me.

Wesley had a pen in one hand, Fred was holding out a glass of water, and Gunn was slowly kneading into my shoulders.

Angel had his hands on my shins, rubbing gently, as if he couldn't resist losing touch for just one second.

"You look flushed."

Well THANK you, Fred. MAKE it obvious.

"I... uh... I gotta go."

"Cordelia."

I pushed past Angel, getting shakily to my feet, hiding my face as I moved around him.

"Cordelia the vision-"

'It wasn't for you."

"Cordelia!"

"Let me go-" Angel clasped his hands on my elbows and held me tight, pulling me around and forcing me to look at him. His eyes were darkly vivid, full of moisture and worry as he peered into my owns.

Oh, God. His body against mine, and I swayed and suddenly I was there again, riding him, mouth pressing hungrily against his, body rubbing in an erotic rhythm, breasts brushing against a hairless chest as large hands slipped up my shuddering stomach to find them-

"CORDELIA!"

My eyes shot open when I realized what I had done.

Angel was so very, very still as I gently pulled away from his lips, from the drunken kiss.

Oh, God. Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God.

My heart was pounding so fast as I forced my hands away from his shoulders, as I stepped back, stumbling in my haste to get away.

I could feel Gunn, Wesley and Fred's eyes on me, could almost see their faces of shock. But my eyes stayed on Angel's, on the confused face, on the completely blank expression that shifted into one of concern as I almost slipped again, my arms flailing as I caught my balance.

He stepped forward, hesitantly, and I numbly shook my head, the tears rising to my eyes at the same time as the lump in my throat hindered my breathing, and I numbly bit, "Please. I need to go."

Wesley was about to step forward but Angel barked at him to stop and I turned my back on them all, grabbing my coat and literally flying out of the door.

Damn the PTB for their vagueness. Damn them all to hell.

I needed answers. And I needed them NOW.

~*~

I tried not to think on the way to Caritas. As soon as I did my mind would lose focus and the vision would sway over me, and it would result in me biting my lip and trying to cross my legs, which wasn't exactly the... easiest or wisest thing to do when I was driving.

My mind was very single-mindedly focused on the road and I was mad as hell. The PTB were sadists, plain and simple. It wasn't bad enough that these damn visions were getting so bad Wesley was talking about putting me in a hospital, it wasn't bad enough that poor Buffy went and died and came back all confused, putting Angel through the motorcycle ride of emotions that left him broody and dark for months. It wasn't enough that it took him finally seeing her again and me almost sleeping with Lindsey in the aftermath for us to sort things out again.

Things were okay now. They were comfortable... we were coming back to being friends... I was okay with being friends. I had even been able to stop myself from having the dreams... from remembering how nice the kissing was that one night at the Century Club when he had kissed me and I had kissed him back and we had pretty much let each other know we loved each other. Back in that moment in time there had been no worries or visions or pain... for that night ...

One night of pure bliss before Pylea... before Groo... before Buffy... and Lindsey-

Before this.

The damn PTB deserved to be castrated.

Damn them. Damn them to fucking hell.

My rage was as white hot as my fear as I walked into Caritas, slamming open the door and walking in with a flash in my eyes that people had come to know as 'Cordy's death stare'.

"Cordelia! Now I don't have to remind you about our little policy of non violence, do I brown eyes?" Lorne sauntered up to me in that swishy way of his, thumbing my nose with a half smile as he placed a drink in my hand. I only stared, my heart pounding and my jaw clenched. He paused, studying me. "Or do you have a different type of action in mind?"

I glared, lifting the drink and downing it in one gulp, before grabbing his hand and pulling him to a table. "I need to talk to you."

~*~

Lorne Greene is not as self assured as he thinks he is. Just because he can go and read aura's and thinks he's hot shit because he's all prophetic and crap, he's still just as unsure as the rest of us, and he's never forgotten he owes me his life, just like I owe him mine.

He's a diva and sometimes a bit of a bitch, and because of that, we get along fine -

When we're not squabbling. Once I tried to get rid of the orange suit and he nearly had a heart attack.

But he was a damn good listener, and I knew he was the only one I could relate what I had seen to because he would understand. He had to, because just like me, the guy felt things.

He listened, hand on his chin as he gazed into my face, as I spoke into my drink and mumbled out the vision. When I finished, I was afraid to look up, afraid of what he'd tell me.

When he didn't say anything, curiosity got the better of me and I met his eyes. "So? Say something?"

He was quiet, which let me tell you, is VERY unusual with this guy, as he took a breath, and he only had one sentence to offer. "Princess, sounds to me like it's crystal clear."

"Crystal clear? Which vision were you listening to?"

He rolled his eyes. "Read between the lines, sugar. No pain? You and Angel, making like the bunnies? About time, by the way. It's a message all right, but there's no pain and gore."

Okay. There was NOTHING I didn't already know here.

"Yes, Mister State-The-Obvious. I get that much."

"It's a gift, Density." He reached over, tweaking my nose, smiling lightly. "One night of pure intimacy. A thank you from the higher powers for the visions and the championing and all that. Angel's soul gets anchored for one night, and you have the option of getting the shagging of your life."

I blinked.

Okay, I'm not dense. I'm not, really. But it literally took me two minutes of mulling what he said over and over in my head before it all suddenly clicked and my heart dropped out from under me along with my stomach.

"Huh?"

He just stared at me, and smiled, this sweet, sincere smile you usually didn't see on Lorne, and it turned bittersweet, as he shrugged slightly, reaching over and squeezing my shoulder slightly. "But it's one night only. Angel's not done with his championing, world still in peril and all that."

My eyes closed as the words washed over me, and the images were so vivid, so clear, as the pieces all came together. The visions would keep coming, the pain wouldn't stop, Angel still had fights to fight and this was a half assed way of saying 'Thanks for enduring the horrible trauma we put you through.'

For one night. One night I would be able to experience making love with my best friend. His soul was anchored for one night.

One Night of passion. One night of love. One night-

"That's it? One night and that's all?"

My eyes shot open as I heard the voice directly behind me.

Oh shit.

Lorne looked actually pained as he stood slowly, looking over my shoulder. "Fraid so, buttercup. Which begs the question: what the hell are you two still doing here?"

My body was frozen, stock still and I couldn't move as the heat seared through my body as Lorne stood, winking at me and moving away, only to be replaced by the vampire of my affections, who lowered his huge frame into the little chair across from me, palms resting flat against the table.

For the longest time we just looked at each other. Actually no, wait. That's an understatement, we didn't just look... we... I don't know... there was something in that gaze as if I was searching into his very soul, and I knew, by the way the chill ran over my spine and the warmness in my stomach, the spreading heat that jolted my heart and set my blood rushing through me, making my cheeks pink and my face flushed, that he was looking into me, through me, in exactly the same way.

I broke the gaze first, looking down at the scattered peanut shells on the table top, feeling like the time when I was thirteen and Darren McNierney took me to the movies and held my hand for the very first time. But this was more vibrant. It was... alive...

"That was what you couldn't tell me?"

I felt the sheepish smile flicker over my lips and I looked up. "Well what did you want me to say? Tell you I had a vision that I was riding you like a bad porno movie with Gunn and Fred and Wesley watching?"

"You could have taken me upstairs."

"Uh... no. I couldn't have."

That led to imagery, which led to more awkwardness, and then I was blushing and looking away again and damn it had never been this awkward before.

He was silent, and suddenly I felt his body shift and his colder hand covered my palm, gently taking it between his fingers and bringing it over to his side of the table. I gazed at him, watching as he looked at my hand, spread open on his palm, as if he were an appraiser looking at a precious stone. Angel always did things so intensely, and I literally forgot how to breathe as his fingers gently caressed my palm, running down the lines, barely touching them, but sending tingles up my arms and into my body.

God... I had never been so turned on by a touch... a simple touch-

When he lifted to palm to his cheek, turning to press his lips reverently against it, I gasped. Audibly. I was a chest heaving, gasping, aching, puddly mess.

Because of a little hand touching.

"Angel..." I breathed in unsteadily.

His dark eyes focused on mine and I was gone, my body trembling and the blood pounding in my ears as he said in his most intense voice, dark and full of passion and love, "Come home with me."

That mouth, with those lips, reached down and I felt the flutter of them against my palm, as he gently turned it, and there was the hot, moist embrace on the inner flesh of my wrist. He lingered there, skimming it, and when his tongue gently reached out and licked, I had to bite my lower lip to keep from letting a very embarrassing moan out.

He was making it too easy... It was so easy to just give in and say YES Angel. YES, and that's why it surprised the hell out of even me when I said, "No."

My heart heaved and my body ached in protest, and even my MIND seemed to be screaming at me YOU MORON, but my SOUL... my soul... it nearly broke at the look in his eyes as he completely froze, disbelief clouding the dark orbs, immediately followed by hurt and insecurity and pain-

Oh, God. "Angel," I whispered, leaning forward, hands reaching out involuntarily to catch his in them, hold him close. "Look at me. You need to-"

"It's okay," he said, swallowing, trying to look anywhere but my eyes. "I understand-"

"No, you moron. You don't," I hissed, shaking my head fervently. "You're as dense as an ox about crap like this and I have to make you see... I want this so much."

His eyes flickered to mine and his mouth formed a silent oh before he blurted out, "You want to?"

"Oh, God Angel sometimes it's all I - Yes. I want to."

He looked completely confused. "Cordelia... " he swallowed, and Dammit that insecurity that came so easily with him when it came to me made my heart shudder. "You... love me?"

"Yes. I do." I said it without hesitation. He knew that. Of course he knew that, the big moron. I had told him often enough.

"Then..."

My mind was whirling and my hands released his and fingers buried into my short blonde hair, as my vision became suddenly blurred. There was a huge lump at the base of my throat that prevented me from saying anything for a full minute before I finally rasped, "Because it'll be like torture."

"What?"

I know it didn't make sense. I knew I was confusing my poor vampire more than he deserved but I was just as confused and only as the words came tumbling out of my mouth did it even begin to make sense to me.

"Torture Angel. I have you for one night and then they take it away? Just one night of loving you, being with you and loving you and then it's over? And I have to go on for ... months... years... however the hell long it takes knowing, remembering what it's like to be with you... to love you and have you love me like that... to experience that and you don't think I'll lose control? I'm not strong enough. I want... I want all of you. Not just for one night."

I was shaking by the time it was over. My voice was tremoring and I knew I was shuddering along with it as I felt fingers on my wrists and they were gently pulled away from me.

"Cordelia."

A finger cupped my chin and a thumb pulled it down, and my eyes were forced to meet with his and I felt my heart thump... loudly... against my chest as he gazed into my eyes as he could peer into my very soul.

He was kneeling beside me, looking at me, and suddenly he took a breath - and Angel doesn't breathe- and my eyes closed involuntarily as his lips pressed against my forehead. It was so beautiful, such a beautiful, tender act... the act of a best friend, and I felt a whimper go through my tired body at the sheer emotion behind it.

Gently, he wiped the tear that had slipped from my right eyelid and when I felt the caress, my eyes opened to find him smiling gently at me, with that loving Angel grin that he gave only to me... because he knew how much I like it.

"Then that's what we'll do," he said simply. "Friends, Cordelia. Best friends. Like always. Nothing's gonna change."

I swallowed, not trusting myself to speak or even stand as he gently rose to his feet, chucked my chin gently, and then turned, walking slowly towards the exit.

And when his form disappeared into the exit, my body heaved in a wretched sob, and my face fell into my hands and the tears came so easily, as I felt my soul splinter with sadness and aching frustration.

Big old Undead Moron.

It already HAD changed.

~*~

I have no idea what Angel told the Gang, but when I walked into the Hyperion an hour later, nobody said a word about the vision, or about the way I completely whigged out.

Angel was leaning over Fred at the computer terminal, and when our eyes met, he only stared at me, before something cloudy went over his face and he looked back down to the machine.

Damn... there was that ache in my heart again.

Who the hell said being in love was fun? I really felt like kicking their ass.

Fred offered me a smile from the computer, and I gave a tired smile back.

"What up, Princess?"

I gave Gunn a tired smile. That had been the universal nickname of late, ever since Pylea, and Gunn liked to use it, if only to remind me... like.. maybe he thought that I needed to be reminded that heart and soul... I was royalty.

You had to love these guys. You just had to.

"Hey guys. Sorry about... you know. Before."

Wesley just told me to forget it, and immediately Fred informed me about some new vampire issue that had been happening and an hour later we were all involved in the research, staying up until the wee hours of the night figuring out patterns, ideas...

And I almost was able to care. Really. I was almost able to stop looking at Angel, almost able to stop replaying his hands on mine, his mouth pressed against the tender, sensitive flesh on his lips, the hoarse vibrance of his voice as he asked me to go home with him.

I was almost able to forget the painful ache that started in my groin and was slowly and steadily working it's way up my body. One moment his eyes met mine and I swear to God that look carried a bolt of electricity in it because it made me jerk and my heart starting pounding again and I knew he could smell the arousal as I shifted uncomfortably because his eyes closed and he growled and God that didn't help cause it sounded so damn sexy -

And he left the room.

Damn the PTB. Damn them all to hell. Gift my ass.

Fred passed out on the couch and Wesley and Gunn gathered their things and I think I said I would put her to bed because the next thing I knew they were gone and Fred was tucked back in her bed upstairs sound asleep, and I was back on my favorite spot on the couch, the place where I first kissed Angel and he first kissed me, and my legs were gathered under my body and my mind was whirling.

For one night, I could feel his hands on me. I could feel his hard body on top of mine and I could run my fingers through that silky hair and not have to worry about what was appropriate and let my hands find every place on his body that hadn't seen sunlight in years-

God.

Footsteps jarred me, and when I looked up, he was there, his hair noticeably wetter as he rubbed a towel through it. His steps faltered as he looked around, and when he realized that we were alone this look of sheer panic slid through his face. It would have almost been funny if I hadn't been so damn... turned on.

DAMN THE PTB. DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL.

I swallowed, my fingers gathering the material of the couch and holding on for dear life. "Hey, Angel."

"Hey." He looked around, hands clenched into fists at his side, banging against his thigh. "So ... umm... Where is everyone?"

"Fred's asleep upstairs, Gunn and Wesley went home."

"Together?"

I smiled in spite of myself. "Not together together, no. Not that I know of anyway. Though THAT would be interesting."

He looked a little shocked but he smiled, and I smiled back and suddenly it was okay, we were back to how it was, and it was comfy. Until his eyes locked with mine and the comfy feeling inside me exploded into raw desire and the smile froze and our gazes broke away.

Yeah. Awkward much?

"So.. I'm going to go to bed."

"Sure. Night."

"Night."

He paused, looked like he was about to say something, and I watched as he began to walk hesitantly toward the stairs.

My heart lurched and I blurted out his name.

He almost got whiplash, he turned around so fast.

"YES."

My heart thumped. One night. And then... after that...

"Good night."

He swallowed, nodded and walked up the stairs.

I watched him go, and slumped agains the couch, my eyes closing as the back of my head slammed against the cushion.

I had been alone for so long. I was the best friend of a vampire I loved completely, heart and soul, a vampire who I had given everything to but the one thing that could make all the difference between a demon and a soul.

Sex. Love. Lust.

Bodies, shifting and sweaty and making each other feel things.

For one night.

No danger of Angelus.

One night of love. Of sex and love and not being alone anymore, of being filled completely.

A night that was almost over.

After tonight, it would never happen again. I had no idea how long Angel's redemption would take... I had no idea how long I would even last if these visions kept getting worse. At this rate... I could be completely crazy the day Angel turned human.

I would die, and I would never know him.

Every minute of every second we were living in fear, and that's exactly what I was doing. And dammit, Cordelia Chase is NOT a coward.

But the fear was there. I was living in fear for Angel... for me.

Because after tonight, there would be no going back.

But the need was stronger.

My legs felt like spaghetti as I walked toward the stairs, taking them up one at a time, my body almost in a drunken haze of emotion as I found myself at his door.

He must have smelled me coming... because he opened the door before I could knock, and the air that I had been holding in my lungs withdrew in a shaky breath as my eyes fell on the beatiful, dark eyes, the glorious pale chest, the beautiful body that I could worship till doomsday and still not be satisfied.

"Cordelia."

His voice was so thick, so full of desire and pent up need and I had to cross my arms over my chest, steeling myself as I took a breath, and began yet another speech.

Yeah I know. I talk way too much.

"I can't... I can't stay away from you Angel. I love you. I love you so much... " my lower lip trembled and when he continued to only stare at me, the tears brimmed, and I had to fight to keep from letting them spill ove my lids. "You're my best friend and I love you and if all I ever have is one night... then that's all I want. Angel... I need you to hold me. I dont' care anymore."

He didn't move, not for one long minute, and I felt so small and vulnerable, until I felt a hand palming the side of my face. Instinctively, I leaned into it, and my eyes met with his and his mouth slid into his own special smile for me, and I whimpered and almost cried in relief, until I heard his growl-

I have no idea if I went forward or he pulled me but suddenly my mouth was crushed under his, my body was pressed against his and my hands were sliding up his chest, sliding around an incredibly strong neck as we walked backwards, stumbling over strewn clothes as he held me to him as our mouths raced desperately against each other.

There was no time or space of anything else but him- his scent, his body, the way his lips moved under and over mine, the way he groaned my name in a barely audible whisper as his hands slid around my waist and jerked me up, towards him, against a hardness that made my body jerk against his in response and made me gasp.

He took the opportunity to taste me intimately, gentle at first, a light flick of his tongue against mine, and then rougher, as the demon within exerted more control and I let him, cold, firm moistness that skimmed my teeth, licked the roof of my mouth and mated with my own with so much dominance and posession I could only whimper, closing my eyes and holding him tigher and wanting this never to end.

There was Angel's bed, because suddenly I was on it and he was on top of me, and he was whispered things to me that made me smile and want to cry at the same time as he pressed kisses on my jawbone, to the pulse of my neck and fingers were sliding down buttons of my shirt and suddenly his face was buried in my cleavage, and hands were sliding up my bare back and my body arched against his as I threw my head back and gasped.

And just like my dreams, I ran my fingers through that silky hair, holding him there, feeling my body alive, so damn alive because it Angel on top of me and Angel holding me and moving against me, rubbing a thigh against me and making me cry, gasp out as we rocked.

A hand slid to my shoulder and the strap of my bra - oh thank God I wore the good bra today - was pulled down, off my shoulder and past my elbow, pulling the rest of it with it, and then there was a pause. Angel had frozen completely.

My eyes opened, and I was still gasping so hard I could barely hear myself, but there was uncertainty there, as I looked at him, until I saw exactly what was going on, where the dark vampire was staring so intently, every point and inch of him focused on one thing.

I had to laugh. It was so funny what the sight of one breast did to him. Men. But then there was a low growl that came from deep in his stomach, rumbling all the way through him, and I felt it against my body and the vibration did things to me and suddenly it wasn't funny anymore - as the rocking started again and the laughter got caught in my throat in a high pitched squeak when Angel's mouth came down and his tongue flicked out and suddenly MY whole body was concentrated on what he was DOING to my breasts.

"Angel... Oh, God..."

There was mumbling and teeth gently scraped against a nipple and my body was jerking and writhing and I had officially almost lost control when he suddenly paused.

And this time, I really mean paused.

My eyes opened and my heart literally stopped beating at the look in his eyes. He bit his lips, and the eyes glowed yellow for a second before they became the dark brown I love so much and suddenly he moved off of me, turning and sitting on the bed and putting his head between his hands.

I would have felt very damn insecure if I hadn't been so damn worried.

"Angel?"

Carefully, I scooted over to his side, sitting next to him, my eyes on his form as I gently laid a hand on his sweaty back.

"I can't do this," was the tortured reply.

Oh, God. There was that insecurity bit. Happens when you live the life of a nun.

My eyes closed and I shuddered, and I looked away, the tears stinging as I reached self conciously for the strap that was hanging uselessly at my side, about to pull it up when he continued, "I want what you want. I want... I want to be able to touch you and love and be with you not just for one night. I don't want to have just tonight and then there not be anything else. It's not like that with you. It's... forever with you. I want it to be forever. I don't want just one night."

My eyes were wide open, my jaw must have been hanging slack because his eyes looked up to meet mine, and he actually smirked, gently placing his fingers on my chin and pushing up, closing my mouth.

And then he leaned forward, pushing the strap back into place, gently closing the buttons on my shirt. I think the shock still had me, because I didn't object when he pushed me back on the bed, when he crawled in behind me and slid his arms around my waist, burying his face in my neck and inhaling my scent.

I still don't think I quite got it until he whispered, "I love you, Cordelia. But I want it to be forever. Not one night."

My throat was so incredibly dry, and I was glad he couldn't see my face, even though I'm sure my pounding heart and uneven voice gave away everything when I whispered, "You ... what about being happy."

He was quiet, and he shifted and pulled me tighter against him and said two little words that struck me right in the very core of my soul.

"I am."

My eyes closed and the tears slid down my face and Dammit I was being such a damn cry baby now- but I got it... I finally got it.

Sex wasn't the gift... sure it could have been a perk but THIS ... this had been the gift.

I turned in his arms, and my eyes searched his and my fingertips traced the contours of his face silently, studying every feature, every bone, every pore in wonder.

One night of pure intimacy.

It was pure happiness, as he stared at me and I stared at him, and I smiled and he smiled and I lay in bed with my best friend, and my forehead leaned against his and he just held me.

No sex. Not yet.

That wasn't the point.

The PTB knew... they knew it would be a long wait.. they had known it would be a long and hard journey and this was a reminder of why we were doing it... for this... for love...

For the night when two of the loneliest people on earth could stay up all night whispering to each other in the bounds of a fuzzy friendship, not quite lovers who had given up one night of sex in favor of something greater, something more meaningful...

Something so precious nothing or no one could ever touch it.

What was given that night wasn't just happiness, or pure intimacy or laughter and love, though that was all there and was all great.

It was more than that. It was more than hope and it was more than faith.

What was given that night was a promise.

A promise from me to Angel, saying I would always be there, I would love him always... I would protect him and serve with him and fight the good fight and he would never be alone.

A promise from Angel to me, stating that he would never leave me, never desert me, always love and protect and be with me because he couldn't stand to fight without me, because I had become his very reason for fighting personified.

And a gift from THEM, from whoever the hell it was that had taken Doyle and had put us up to this in the first place. That the time would come where this would all end, and it would come and I would live... because it wasn't just Angel's redemption that we were working towards...

We were working towards us.

And they knew. And they approved.

And they gave a gift to seal the promise.

And damn the PTB's. Damn them to hell.

Because for the first time, in a long time, I slept without dreams, I slept without pain, and Angel experienced true happiness that had nothing to do with sex.

They knew how to push your buttons. They knew how get you to work.

So damn them.

Because there was never two more people dedicated to the cause than the vampire and the seer who fell asleep in each others arms that night.

In the quiet and solitude that was given in one night, the future and the past brought a haze of pain. There would be trials and pain and tears and suffering, because the warriors for the good fight always suffered until the battle was won, and the battle would never be won.

I knew that. But Damn the PTB's. DAMN THEM TO HELL.

Because when I fell asleep that night, I had love.

I had faith.

And I had hope.

And when it came down to the bare bones of it all... that's all that mattered.

FIN

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