--
“Cordelia, where are you?” She heard his voice, but she paid no attention as she sat on the curb, her whole body shaking, the thoughts whirling almost chaotically in her brain. Willow was pregnant, Willow pregnant, and she almost got killed, Cordelia had almost killed her baby.
“There you are,” Xander strode to her, his face tense with worry. “What’s the matter with you, Cor? Why are you acting-”
Her face looked up, her eyes bright with tears. “Stay away from me.”
He looked taken aback, his eyes furrowing. “What?”
“You heard me,” She snapped, standing up, “Stay away, Xander! I should have never come back, I should have never-”
“Cordy!” He tried to grab her, but she easily eluded him, her eyes unseeing as she continued her rant.
“Angel was right, he was right, I thought he was an idiot, but he was right, he left, and he did the right-”
Xander began to get scared.
“Cordy?” He voice was now soft, his throat as he saw her pacing form. “What’s wrong?”
She shot him a glare. “Are you dense?” She hissed. “Don’t you get it? Haven’t you always gotten it, you loser!”
He recoiled in a wince.
Her eyes bore into his, the pain filtering in her own orbs at the harsh words. Immediately she softened, eyes moistening, crossing her arms, and looking away.
“I’m sorry.” She said, after a minute.
He swallowed hard. “Cordy.... what’s going on!”
She closed her eyes, forcing herself to breath. "Xander! I'm saying that maybe Angel has a point! I mean, he was so unselfish that he left... because he didn’t want to hurt Buffy. He knew that all he could bring her was pain."
Softness flittered over her features as she gazed at him, one finger gently tracing his cheek. "I love you. I don't think I could handle that. My ties almost killed you once. It can happen again. She almost got Willow and Oz." She pulled her finger back. “Stay away from me.” She hissed again. “I’ll only bring death and destruction, that’s what I am. Stay away from me.”
Xander’s heart was racing as Cordelia’s pain surfaced. He had never seen her like this, her eyes were wide, her face streaked with tears, she looked so different from the rock steady Immortal they had all come to count on. Looking at her, he finally realized what her fear was.
She was afraid of losing them, afraid of losing everything. And if she kept pulling away, he knew she would lose more than she could handle. She turned to run off, and he grabbed an arm.
“I’m not leaving, Cordelia,” he pronounced carefully, his tone dominant and hard. And her face hardened, and she reeled back, punching him in the jaw, sending him flying back.
“Dammit, Xander! You are so stupid! Don’t you see I have to do this?” She whispered, looking at him on the floor. He scrambled up, praying he could handle her, praying he wouldn’t have to bring Buffy and Angel out.
He couldn’t lose her, he needed her, just as much as she need him.
“I’m NOT leaving, Cordy,” he said again. “I love you. And you love me. You need me.”
“No, I don’t, Xander,” she whispered, shaking her head furiously. “No, I don’t. I’m selfish. I can make it on my own, I can.”
He closed his eyes, and then using as much strength as he could, her pulled her to him, kissing her harshly. She struggled, but he held on for dear life, holding her so tightly she could scarcely move.
"No!" She pushed against him, finally losing all control, "Dammit, Xander, no, stay away from me! I'm going to get you all killed ! I destroy everyone that I love, Xander!" Tears began to stream from her face, and as he still held his grasp strong, her knees gave out, and the couple sank onto the street, their arms wrapped around each other, Cordelia sobbing uncontrollably.
"I'm going crazy, Xander." She whispered, crying uncontrollably, "I swear I'm going crazy-"
"No!" He held her tighter, "You're not, Cordy, you're fine, okay? You're just scared. It's okay to be scared, Cordy."
"No, no it's not! Xander, I almost killed Willow and her baby! I almost kill-"
"You didn't almost do anything, Cordelia!" he snapped. "If you hadn't had those guys following them, they would have gotten killed, you saved their lives." He cradled her face with his thumbs, "You saved their lives, Cordy.” His voice became a whisper, his eyes watering. “You saved our lives.”
And her face crumpled, her tears streaming as she held on to him for dear life, his love and gentle caretaking the only buoy that held her sanity in check.
Xander held her close, crushing her against him, his eyes closed as he repeated over and over, “You saved our lives, you saved our lives.”
“I’m gonna get you all killed.”
“STOP IT!!” He almost shouted, staring at her. “Cor, we knew what we were getting into, you can’t protect us all the time, none of us expect you to. I love you, Cor. I love you, and not being with you, it’s like death itself.”
And her face grew still, her tears began to water again, as she whispered back, “I love you Xander.” Their tears mingled as their lips sought each other’s hungrily, tongues battling for intimacy.
And Cordelia suddenly froze. Xander felt her tense in his arms and looked at her in concern.
"Cor? What's wrong?"
Her eyes were wide when she answered warily, "Twinkle feeling."
--
Oz’s arm was in a sling, but he barely felt the pain of the broken arm as he listened to the doctor share his news.
His face was impassive, but his heart was beating rapidly.
“Pregnant, huh?” He said softly. The doctor looked a little perplexed at the reaction, but he nodded.
“That’s, right, congratulations.”
Oz pursed his lips, lost in thought. “Thanks.” He said almost absently. He sat up, sliding his feet off the emergency cot. “I want to see her.”
“Of course, I’ll show you where she is.” Oz nodded his thanks, following the doctor in his slow gait.
The doctor smiled, motioning the young man to the door. “Good luck, young man.” He said.
Oz only raised an eyebrow at him, and smiled softly.
“Yeah, thanks.” The doctor left him alone then, and Oz stopped for a moment to watch his young wife.
For a moment, just a moment, Oz felt exactly as he did that day when Angel was sent to Hell, when he came rushing to the hospital, his entire body numb with fear for his then new girlfriend.
She wasn’t his new girlfriend anymore, she was his wife. And she was having his baby.
“Oz?” He smiled when her eyes drifted open as she caught him staring at her. Her eyes were puffed up, her face had a bandage on her cheek. But right then, she never looked more beautiful to Oz.
“Hey, babe.” He whispered softly, coming forward to settle himself on the edge of her bed.
“I feel grody, Oz,” she observed, a hand to her head as she commiserated on her condition.
“You look it,” he said, smiling gently.
She frowned. “Yeah, I guess I do.” She paused, then, “Do I look ugly, Oz?”
“No," he said immediately, and then leaned forward and placed a gently kiss on her forehead. “I love you," he breathed.
She smiled, biting her lip to keep from grimacing from her numerous cuts. They were silent for a moment, and then Willow looked at him, and he could see the nervous fleck of gray coming to her eyes.
“Oz... didja hear?”
“Hear, what?” he asked.
“Well... about... about...” Her hand floated to her stomach, “You know.”
He nodded, not trusting himself to speak as he gazed at her stomach, where the new life, his child, was nestled.
She was gazing at him, her looked apprehensive. “What are you thinking, Oz?”
As if in a trance, he slowly slid his hand under her gown, and laid his palm against her bare abdomen. He kept it there, his eyes darkening with passion and joy.
“I think... it’s very cool," he managed. Willow watched his expression with wonder, and then her face broke out into a soft smile.
“You do?” He nodded, swallowing. “Good. Cause so do I.”
“This is gonna be a perfect baby, Willow,” He said, clasping her hand in his, bringing her palm to his lips. “it’s gonna have your beautiful eyes and smile, it’s gonna have a Slayer and an Immortal as god parents, Xander as an uncle.”
"Xander?"
"Everyone should have a Xander."
She smiled, her eyes sparkling. “You know why it’ll be perfect, Oz?”
He shook his head.
“Cause it’ll be half you," she whispered, and he lunged forward, catching her lips in a loving, tender, passionate kiss. “I love you, Oz.”
He closed his eyes, holding her form close. “I love you, Willow.”
And the pair didn’t move, peaceful in the knowledge that although the world was admittedly crashing down around them, they had each other. They would always have each other. And in that moment, nothing else mattered.
--
“Inside.” Cordelia hissed. “Now.” She pulled him up and the pair darted into apartment building and up the stairs.
Angel and Buffy watched wide eyed when Cordelia stormed in, swinging the door shut and locking it.
“What’s going on?” Buffy asked, moving away from Angel. “Cordy?”
“Twinkle feeling.” Xander explained, running a hand through his ruffled hair.
“Twinkle feeling?” Angel asked, suddenly perplexed.
“Cordy gets it when she feels another Immortal.” Buffy explained hastily, her eyes searching the streets with Xander.
“She was waiting,” Cordelia said, her eyes flashing. “She knew I’d be whiggin’. She’s always known.”
Xander gave his girlfriend a wary look. “Cor, you can’t fight her like this.”
“Like what?”
“All... whigged. You need to calm down. She wants you to be like this, you need to get back to your regular self.”
She snorted, but he could tell she knew he was right, because she merely looked up to the ceiling, and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply.
Buffy’s heart was beating fast, frustration filling her once again. This thing had almost killed Willow and Oz, and was driving Cordy crazy. Damn, that pissed her off. She never wanted to kick someone’s ass as much as this ... bitch. And she couldn’t. She was the Slayer, and she knew that she didn’t stand a chance against this thing.
Cordelia opened her eyes, catching her gaze with a half shrug. “She’s gonna find me sooner or later.” She remarked, her voice slightly calmer. “She’ll come in here.”
Xander could only swallow. "No, Cor. She's right out there."
Cordelia pushed past him and looked out. In the dark, a figure stepped into the light of the ally. It was a woman, with long dark hair, her body straight and tall. She looked up, directly into the window they were all staring at, slowly smiling and nodding in greeting, waving her sword.
"Mag." Cordelia breathed, and suddenly a rush of anger and hate filled her."She's played with my mind, she's given me nightmares, she's threatened everyone I loved, and she attacked Willow and Oz, and she killed, KILLED Nick. I loved nick." She bit, her eyes flashing. "He had a girlfriend, a mother. Dammit." She stood, and her eyes flashed.
"That's it." Cordelia wiped her tears away with one hand, and grabbing her sword, held it in one hand, pulling off her jacket.
"She's waiting for me, right now, and I'm gonna end this once and for all." She looked at the trio who were staring at her, their mouths open. "and don't you tweakos dare try and follow me. I'm gonna kick this woman's ass, and the last thing I need is you three causing more trouble for me. Stay here."
Angel looked frustrated as he watched her leave. "Has she lost it!?" He said, turning back at them angrily.
Xander shook his head slowly, on his face a worried frown.
"No, Angel, She's finally getting it back."
Buffy’s face was tense. “Please, Cordy, don’t die.”
--
Cordelia could only swallow, she had only seen Mag once before, the woman had looked relatively normal then, but now... she looked different, in her eyes was a glint, and it appeared to be madness.
“All this just because Winters died?” She breathed. “You are willing to destroy innocent people just because one man died.”
Her face froze. “he was more than just a man, Ms. Chase. He was my life, my lover, my only reason for existence, lay in that man.” She cocked her head to the building where Buffy had disappeared. “Her, and her friend, they are yours, aren’t they? Have you ever wondered what will happen when they are gone?” Slowly she slid on her trench coat. “Years go by, centuries, every person you know, every one you love, whithers and dies, leaves. With Winters I was safe, he was Immortal, he would never die, I could always count on him to be there. Until you came along. You destroyed everything.”
Cordelia eyes scrunched. “WInters killed himself, Mag.”
“Maybe that’s what I’m doing.” Mag retorted, sliding her sword out. Almost immediately Cordelia drew, also, her sword shimmering. “And I just might take the world with me.”
The two woman were in a stand off, circling each other slowly. “You know, Ms. Chase, I’m not really the one you should be fighting.” Magdelene said slowly, she motioned to the building. “Trick is planning on taking over the world, you think that little Slayer is gonna be able to stop her on her own?”
Cordelia’s eyes immediately went to the little house, sounds of fighting came from it. She froze, her heart beating wildly, until she was distracted by a sword swinging down in her direction.. She met it just as fast, and they swung twice more before circling again.
“You’re working, with Trick, aren’t you?”
“Of course, why else would he need a distraction? You can’t very well help Buffy when I’m kill you, can you?”
Something snapped in Cordelia, and she felt her anger swell.
"Look, you crazy freak!" Cordelia held her sword steady. "Since when does your honey dying give anyone an excuse to go looney? Don't you see? You're gonna destroy the whole world!"
Magdelne gave her a cold smile. "And you think you can stop me? You ..ignorant... bitch."
That was it, that was it. Cordy was not taking anymore. That bitch was going down.
And this time, it was her that swung down, taking Mag by surprise.
--
She ran outside of the apartment
complex, her eyes wide and searching. She didn’t have to look far, standing
ten feet in front of her, was a woman who looked exactly like Mag.
Cordelia felt her heart freeze.
"Mag." She bit.The woman smiled, and shook her head. "Call me Jass, Mag was my sister."
"Ah hell.” Cordelia locked swords with the twin sister, her eyes murderous now, as she stared into the eyes of the woman that had almost killed two of the most important people in her life.
"You had to make it personal, didn't you?" She bit. "Damn you, you almost drove me crazy, and I almost let you."
Jass only gave her a cold smile. "You killed my sister."
"Ever hear of self defense, bozo?"
She bit back, and the swords clanged again, and they circled each other.
--
“It’s started.”
“What?” Xander pointed to the sky, watching as the weather immediately turned dark, the sky a stormy gray.
Angel slipped his arm around Buffy, held her close, and they all watched.
--
She fell, and Cordelia barely had time to roll out of the way of the falling saber.
“Aren’t you at all worried about your little Slayer friend?” Mag bit.
Cordelia shrugged. “She’s been able to take care of herself for a long time, she doesn’t need me.” Mag laughed as she rolled away.
“Then why did you come back?”
Cordelia shrugged, sliding the sword away. “Because I needed them.” She jumped up and back flipped, kicking Mag in the face.
The woman fell back and quick as a wink, Cordelia had her sword to her neck. “Don’t do this.” She breathed, sympathy for the woman in her eyes. “Don’t make me kill you. I don’t want to.”
Mag watched her for a moment, and then out of nowhere, produced a small dagger, and without a word, stuck it in Cordelia’s gut.
Cordelia gasped in pain, falling back, her sword dropping.
“Oh, God.” She breathed, her hand going to her stomach, blood flowing from her body. Mag stood up, her face cruel, and ungiving as she stared at Cordelia.
“Death and Destruction, Cordelia Chase.” She bit. “That’s all you’ll ever give them, all they’ll ever have from you, you hear me? Me killing you? I’m doing them a favor, I’m saving them years of heartache, years of hating you when you’re still young and they are all old, cursing their bones, and hating you for staying the same. And one by one, they’ll all die.”
Cordelia’s eyes floated to her sword, lying two feet away.
“I’m doing them a favor.” Mag repeated, raising her sword, and Cordelia summoned all her strength, reaching up, sliding the dagger from Mag’s hand and into her heart. She skidded back as Mag gasped, scrambled to regain her sword, kicking mag’s away from her hand.
“Not me.” She whispered, slowly, and painfully. “Never from my friends.” And with that, she swung, and sliced.
Grasping her wound she fell to her knees next to the fallen body, and waited for the inevitable.
--
“Who’s winning?” Angel asked, as they crowded over the room.
“I can’t tell,” Xander said, watching. “The weather is so terrible out there, all I can see is figures, they both look the same.”
“Well, one definitely is.” Buffy observed, as one of the Immortals kicked the other, turning, and all three gasped as she slid around and buried the sword in the other’s stomach.
“Please, let Cordy be the sword sticker.” Xander prayed.
And then, quick as a wink, the figures had the other beheaded.
They were still, each knew what was coming.
The lightening struck, it crackled around them, and the figure fell to her knees.
"I can't watch." Buffy said, turning away. "I dont' know which one is causing the crackling."
Xander couldn't make out the figure either, and his eyes filled with tears as his heart hammered against his chest, searching for any clue that would indicate that it was his fiancé that was receiving that horrendous quickening.
There was utter silence. A bright flash of lightening blinded Xander for a moment, and when he was able to look into the street it was empty.The trio looked at each other, Xander's throat went dry when Buffy looked at him beseechingly. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came.
"I..." He croaked. "I don't know." And he searched the streets again, trying to find any sign of who the winner had been, who had received the quickening.
"She's not out there." Angel breathed, searching vainly.
"Oh, Cor." He whispered. "Cor, please."And there was silence.
And suddenly they swung around when the door creaked open, and Cordelia Chase stumbled into the room.
"Geez." She breathed. "That really
takes it out of you." They just stared at her. She threw her
sword on the coffee table, and sank into a chair, grabbing her previously
forgotten bottle of water and chugging it down.
"What?" She said finally,
when she realized that three of them were still just staring at her.
Xander could scarcely breath, his eyes were wide as he just stared at her. "Cordy.. . you're.... alive."
She rolled her eyes. "I told you I was gonna whip her ass."
And he grinned, walking to her, and pulling her into his arms, kissing her long and hard. Angel cracked a smile, and Buffy let a tear fall in relief, going forward and hugging her friend fiercely.
And Cordelia smiled back, feeling more like herself then she had in months. It was over. At least for now, and maybe, just maybe, she could finally sleep.
--
Magdalene was dead, and Cordelia was spent, she looked up at the now clear sky, her body charged, her blood flowing, her body trembling from her second quickening.
Quickly, she rose, and stumbled to the building, heart beating, having to make sure that Buffy made it.The Slayer was still battling the vampire, and finally she seemed to gain the upper hand, she tripped the vampire, and her long slender arm rose high, the stake in her hand when Trick said, "It aint' over little girl, I've got friends in high places."
Cordelia grinned at that. Not anymore he didn't. Buffy didn't even seemed phased, she merely swung the stake down, buried it in his heart. He exploded immediately.
And she smiled as Buffy sighed, exhausted, bloody, and exasperated. "They can never just die in peace." She muttered to herself. "They always gotta say something." Cordelia surprised the urge to laugh, and instead gave her friend another long look before, turning around, and walking away.
Her friends were safe, for now they were safe.
--
“What are you doing?” Angel froze when he saw Buffy in the bedroom, her eyes on his suitcase, wide and shining. “You were leaving again, weren’t you?” she rasped. “You were going to take off and not tell anyone.”
He swallowed, not quite being able to face her as he turned away from her. “I had to.”
“Why?” she asked, ever so softly, her voice trembling.
Angel's voice quivered. "I love you so much," he rasped. " I don't think.. if you and I get involved again... I'd have the strength to leave."
Buffy stared at him defiantly, not bothering to check the tears that had begun to flow. "You are such a coward, Angel."
He turned, surprise in his eyes. “What?”
“You heard me. You’re a damn coward. You’re scared, you’re scared of everything. You’re scared of me.”
“Damn right I’m scared," he hissed back. “I’m scared of how you make me feel, I’m scared of how I know that I’ll want you for the rest of my life, and I’m scared because of the fact that if I ever get you into my arms, I’ll never let you go.”
She was watching the hurt in his eyes, and then suddenly she moved forward, pressing her body against his.
“Then, don’t," she whispered. “Don’t, Angel.”
He stared into her eyes for one long minutes, and she whimpered, pulling his head down and moving her lips urgently against his.
He lost control then, and he crushed her against him, ravaging her mouth with hot kisses, holding her so tightly she almost couldn’t breath.
But she didn’t complain, her whole mind was lost in how much she loved this man, how much she needed him.
“I love you, Buffy.” he whispered, his voice cracking between kisses. “I love you so much, I love you so much.”
“I know.” She whispered, holding him tighter. “I know.”
“We’ll never make this work.”
“Yes we will!” She returned fiercely. “Yes we will. We have to, or we’ll both go crazy.”
--
In the doorway, Cordelia and Xander watched them with unreadable expressions. Xander sighed, leaning forward and closing the door to the bedroom.
“You think they’ll work it out?”
She bit her lip, but nodded. “If we could make it work, they could.” she said firmly.
“One problem hon. There’s not a little soul clause in between us.”
She swallowed. “And if there was?”
He gazed at her, sliding a hand in hers. “We would have found a way.”
She nodded, leaning her forehead on his shoulder. “So will they.”
He smiled, sliding his arms around her. “You sound tired.”
“Nope," she said dryly. “I only almost went crazy, almost lost two of my best friends, and battled a crazy lady to death. I’m not tired at all.”
“You’re sarcasm sucks, you know.”
“Can we go to bed, please?” Xander chuckled, and nodded, pulling her into Angel’s spare bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed, her hands on her side, her face passive as she looked out the window. He came from behind her, his hands on her shoulders.
“Whatcha thinkin’?" he asked softly.
She shrugged, her eyes were moist as she turned, sliding a hand under his shirt and up his chest.
“I’m thinking, that... I love you. and you better not leave me before you’re good and old, Xander, because I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”
He grinned softly, settled his lips gently on hers, drawing the two of them back on the bed. She kissed him once more, kicking off her shoes as she laid her head on his chest.
He was quiet, when she looked up, he was studying her.
“What?” She whispered.
“How the hell did I manage to make you fall in love with me?” He asked.
She smiled, closing her eyes as she answered, “Just lucky, I guess.”
He chuckled softly to himself, content to feel her against him. “I am lucky, Cor.” he said after a second. When she didn’t respond, he looked down. She had fallen asleep. On her face was a content expression, a small half smile on her face as she knocked out in a dreamless sleep.
Watching her, Xander suddenly felt like crying with relief and happiness. Right then he knew everything was going to be okay, now, for everyone.
Because the love of his life, the
powerful Immortal, had begun to snore. And he had never loved her more.
--
Epilogue
“Everybody decent?” Xander Harris poked his head into the doorway, and smiled. Willow looked up, her eyes tired, but shining.
“Both of us are completely fine," she said, motioning him in. The door opened wider, and suddenly the room was filled with eight friends.
“Can we see him?” Cordelia squealed, putting down her bundle of gifts and reaching her arms out.
Willow nodded, carefully handing over her precious bundle to the Immortal, who cradled him. The group crowded around Cordelia, their faces awed, as Oz settled next to his wife, kissing her once on the forehead.
“He’s precious, Will,” Buffy breathed, one finger lightly stroking the new life’s face.
“He is absolutely perfect,” Cordelia agreed. “He won’t get all wolfy, will he?”
Willow and Oz exchanged amused glances. “I sure hope not,” Willow said with a smile. “On that note, I’m sorry about having to disrupt your honeymoon, you know, me going into labor and all.” Xander shrugged.
“It’s cool, Willow. I’m just glad it was you guys and not Clari giving some more doom news.”
“Don’t even start, Xander,” warned Cordelia. “I don’t want you to jinx things. For the first time in my life, I’m happy, nothings gone wrong. I just wanna here with my family, before anything happens.”
“Hear, hear.” Buffy agreed, snuggling into Angel’s side. The two were inseparable now, Willow to hers and everyone else’s surprise, found that she had, in fact, botched the spell when she had cast it so many years ago, and Angel was never allowed to lose his soul at all.
He would be soul having all his eternity, and that meant he could be happy. And finally, so could Buffy.
“So what are we going to call him?” Cordelia asked, her eyes never leaving the newborn with the head full of red hair.
“We?” Oz looked perplexed.
“Yes, we.” Giles explained. “This is our baby as much as it is yours.”
Cordelia’s smile faltered just a little, and the three couples stared at Willow and Oz. And looking at their hopeful faces, Willow understood. Cordelia would never be able to have children, neither would Angel. They would adopt, but this baby, this baby would always be there first. Her eyes flickered to Oz’s, and he smiled back.
“Any suggestions?” she asked.
Relieved smiles floated onto the faces of her friends, and Xander took the baby from Cordelia, studying it carefully.
“I’ve always been partial to Xander, myself," he remarked.
“Oh, no, little brain,” Cordelia retorted. “One Xander is all I can handle.”
“Bruce?” Angel suggested.
“And doom him to a life of Superheroness, no, no.” Buffy disagreed. “I want this baby to be Normal Guy.”
“Again, Xander is a perfect name for that-”
“Xander, shut up.”
“What about Archibald?” Appalled faces turned to Giles, who immediately grew red.
“Well, it was my father's name.” He defended. “I rather like it.”
“John,” Joyce suggested.
“John Smith.” Cordelia mused, and shook her head. “No way.”
“Why not?”
And Willow smiled, hiding her smirk as she kissed Oz’s neck and watched her family that consisted of a Slayer, a Vampire, an Immortal, a Watcher, a Werewolf, an overprotective mother, and a Zeppo squabble over the name. Shaking her head, she knew that this argument was far from being over, and her poor baby would likely go days before they all decided on a name together.
But that was the important things. No matter how much they fought, and argued, and carried on, they were a family, and everything they did... it would be together.
They would always be together.
Fin
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