(G/C)
By Melissa Flores

Teaser -  A moment of attraction and an unexpected kiss leaves Giles flustered and confused, and it's up to Cordelia to figure things out.
Disclaimer - nope, don't own the characters. They belong to crack head Joss.
Spoilers - Some for pretty much up to Graduation, lots of speculation, and so forth.
Notes - for this story to work, I had to throw Giles a tad off character. Just work with me, okay? :-)

 Graduation had come and gone, and he knew now that things were never going to be the same.  A slight pang of loss filled him, and he winced, the knowledge that Buffy Summers was a different person, one that didn't depend on him as much as she used too.

 The sad fact was, when Angel was still around,  Rupert Giles knew that Buffy had come to him for solace. He knew that she viewed as not quite a father, but something close, a being which could provide her the comfort that Angel could never give her. And he had cherished that.  Because it felt good to be needed.

 And he wasn't needed anymore.  Angel had left her, gone to Los Angeles, and Giles knew that Buffy had tried to move on. And move on she had, to Xander. Xander, a normal human boy, a loyal one, who could love her and get loved in return with no reprucussions. With every passing day, the two grew closer, and Giles felt more and more alone.

 Wesley, that cantankerous man, had begun to grow on this group, he had gotten smarter, not quite as annoying, and Giles couldn't help but feel out of it as he began to resume a more stable role as Watcher.  Willow and Oz had moved onto a new stage in their relationship, and again, it left Giles, the surrogate care giver, the confidant, alone.

 He felt as if he had no purpose. His children, his friends, no longer needed him.  And this graduation, now that he was no longer their librarian, almost certainly proved it.

 "Giles."  He jumped, knocked out of his pity party by a familiar voice. Turning around, he beheld the one person who he believed was more alone than himself, but because she had made herself that way.  Cordelia, despite all her popularity, was in reality a loner, and sometimes, Giles believed she liked it. Why else would she act the way she did?  All attempts at friendship by her old friends had been rebuffed,  until the Scooby Gang, as they called themselves, had almost forgotten about their friend, Cordy, and renamed her Cordelia, once again. Now, it seems she was severing all ties, leaving to Los Angeles with her parents to make a new start in two days. So what was she doing here?

 "Cordelia." He returned, looking over the graduate in the slinky blue dress. "Why aren't you at the festivities?"

 "Why aren't you?" She returned, walking carefully down the grass hill in her high heel shoes and sitting down next to him, her slit opening to reveal a delicious portion of her golden thigh.

 Rupert looked away.  Cordelia was a student, and he had to keep reminding himself of that. Even if she had a very mature body for a woman of her age, her mindset, was that of a teenager, and Rupert knew she would not appreciate an old man looking at her as Xander Harris once did.

 "Giles?" She repeated.

 "What?"

 "What are you doing down here?" She said, a tad frustrated.  "You look like someone killed your
dog, or something."

 "I don't have a dog."

 "Well, if you did, that's what you would look like."  She stood by her claim.

 He cocked his head. "What are you doing here?"

 "I was on my way to the party at the Bronze, when I saw you here looking all dejected." She responded, pointing to her car sitting up on the curve by the street.  "What's up with you?"

 "Oh, what do you care." He murmured, half cross.

 She went silent, and then in a slightly hurt voice, began in a huff. "Well, fine, see if I care. What I get for trying to be-"

 "Cordelia." He stopped her rise with an arm. "I'm sorry." He sighed. "I'm a bit cross, but you didn't deserve that. I appreciate your concern, but I'd rather be alone."

 "Why so you can feel sorry for yourself?" She asked.  He gave her a look, and she shrugged.

"That's what it looks like, Giles." She said, nodding.  "Trust me, I'm the queen of pity parties and you've got the look."

 She nudged him as he looked away. "Come on, stuffy. You should be happy! Buffy's made through high school alive, well for now, any ways."

 "Thank you for the picker upper." He said dryly.

 She went silent for a minute, and Giles was finally forced to look her in the face.  She had her head cocked, studying him for a minute, her pretty hazel eyes searching his blue ones.  "It's cause of Buffy, right?"

 "What?"

 "Yeah, you feel all useless, huh? Well, I mean, with Wes becoming Super Watcher and Xander,"
Her voice when soft for a second but quickly picked up the pace, "and Buffy hooking up and Willow and Oz getting all close after prom-"

 "How did you know all of that?"

 "Hello! I may be out of the loop but you have to be blind not to see stuff like that." She huffed.  "I'm not stupid, Giles. I just choose to be ignorant sometimes."

 "Most of the time." He said, finally giving her a teasing grin.

 She narrowed her eyes at the insult, but shook it off quickly. "The point is, I still care about you, Giles, okay? Maybe not the others, but I like you."

 He regarded her for a minute, a small bit of respect burgeoning in his heart for the young woman.

 "Do you know what it's like to feel useless, Cordelia?" He asked.

 "Who, me?" She scoffed. "Giles, I went from May Queen to impaled loser in a matter of months. My dad lost all his money, and I had to actually work! Me!  My studly date Wesley turns out to be mister lamoe who can't have a social life if his life really depended on it," Giles felt his mouth quiver into a half smile at that comment.  "You think I don't know what's it's like to feel useless? Tu-HUH!"

 "So you came to join my pity party, is that it?" He asked, one fist cradling his head as he looked at her.

 "The more the merrier, I say. Sides, it's better than watching Buffy slobber all over Xander, and avoid Wesley all day." She made a face.  "I figure we can lick our wounds together. You, the old guy, and me... Cordelia." She finished, apparently not quite able to come up with an insult for herself.

 He watched her settle down in the grass, her hair gently swaying in the breeze, her half smile infectious, her long, delicate neck rivaling even the Immortalized Audrey Hepbern's.  This woman, he realized, was quite possibly one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever laid eyes on.  When her smile was real, when her eyes sparkled, when she was completely candid and genuine, she could make even the glorious Buffy and Willow fade away, and that was not a small feat.  What on earth had possessed Xander to cheat on her? He felt a small pang of kinship with his former student, the misunderstood outcast with the dazzling smile and sparkling eyes, and felt a welt of uncontrollable desire enter his soul. And then he did something, that he knew, for a bloody fact, that he never, ever would have done under any normal event.  He didn't know what it was that caused him to do it, but the desperation that had invaded him, the need to feel close again to some one, anyone... took over his body, and he was helpless.

 "This lake is nice." She commented, sighing, unaware of his thoughts.  "Hey Giles, I've been meaning to ask-MMPH!" She was cut off when suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, Giles moved forward and pulled her face gently but firmly toward his, descended his lips on hers before she could stop it, and proceeded to kiss her ever so gently. For a moment she was frozen stiff, her mind whirling as she tried to figure out exactly how this wierdness of all wierdness had hapened,  but as his kiss seemed to deepen, she sighed, and  a second later,  had closed her eyes, deciding to just let it happen

 For a moment he was filled with utter bliss.  The next second, it was utter horror. He gasped at his atrocious action, immediately letting her go, and scooting at least three feet away, not daring to look at her, feeling himself grow redder by the second. Bloody dammitall to hell. What had he been  thinking? Shame and disgust at himself creeped into his body.

 Still cursing at himself, he then noticed that Cordelia was dreadfully silent.  Not being able to take not looking at her reaction, he finally ventured to look up, expecting a look of horror or disgust.

 He got neither. First shock past over her features, and then, quickly she got over it, and in attempt to register what happened, had an unreadable face for one minute, then finally sighed.  Now, she was merely sitting down, arranging her clothes, and then her hair, on her face, a look of mild consternation.

 "You know, you could have warned me that you were gonna kiss me senseless." She told him flippantly, adjusting her bangs. "You almost gave me whiplash with the way you grabbed me like that." She looked at him then, and then did a quick double take.

 "You're all red." She told him.

 "That's it?" He burst.  He had been expecting a grand spectacle and huge deal out of this, and all he got was "you're all red?"

 She looked a little surprised. "What?"

 "That's all you have to say? After a man twice your age kisses you?!"

 She pursed her lips, looking slightly confused for a second, before shrugging. "Do you want me to get pissed? Cause I can."

 He stared at her for one minute, trying to understand exactly what was going on through that brain, and finally gave up.

 "You probably think I'm a pervert." He muttered edging away from her.

 She studied him for a minute, and just shook her head. "No, Giles," She began. "Perverts are my father's friends who try and look up my skirt when Dad isn't looking."

 He shot her a look.

 "Yeah." She continued. "Those are perverts.  You're just Giles."

 "Just Giles?" He queried the response.

 "Yeah." When he just gazed at her, she huffed. "Come on Giles! You're a bachelor, and you may be old but it's a known fact that men NEVER stop thinking about sex, and when you spend most of your time with three teenage girls... frankly I would think you were just a little weird if you never looked."

 "So I'm a pervert if I look, and a weirdo if I don't?" He responded, a small smile playing on his lips.

 "See? You get it." She responded, leaning back on her elbows to look at the pond.  Giles drank in the sight of her body for one moment, and then flushed and looked away.

 "Were you expecting this?" he asked suddenly.

 Cordelia gave him a surprised look.

 "My kissing you." He elaborated, grimacing at the thought.  "You were expecting this, weren't you?"

 "No."

 "What?!"

 "Didn't have a clue." She remarked, plucking a blade of grass off of her knee.  "Giles, you and Buffy have such a big connection that Super Glue couldn't make it any stronger. And you and Willow... you've got this.... Connection, too, I guess, but in a different way. Me and you...we don't."

 Giles could have laughed at the irony in such a statement.  The strangeness of this whole day was that he hadn't felt this close to a woman since dear Jenny had passed away.  He had had moments of tenderness with Buffy and Willow, but he rarely thought that they actually knew him. They both assumed they knew everything, when quite the opposite was true. Cordelia constantly had him on edge because she observed everything and assumed nothing. She was the only one who had accepted his dark past without so much as a shrug, whereas Willow and Buffy both had been shocked. Cordelia simply absorbed and then told what she saw. And the startling thing was, most of the time, what she said was true. And that was why she made him so frustrated half the time.

 "And the fact that you are quite possibly the most beautiful woman in Sunnydale gave you no clue?"  He asked her softly.

 "None whatsoever," She responded flatly.  A soft blush rose in her cheeks, and she didn't' look at him when she said,  "I kind of got the impression you didn't like me at all." Giles felt his throat clog up when he realized how unsure she sounded.

 "You frustrate me to no end." He agreed loftily.

 She must have sensed the amusement in his voice because she finally looked at him again, her hazel eyes dazzling.

 "I do, don't I?" She asked, suddenly proud of herself.  He gazed into her eyes for a half second, and then grimaced in shame, looking away at the stirring of feelings that started in his stomach.

 "Giles?" Cordelia was watching him, a soft smile playing on her lips, making him aware that she knew of the turmoil he was going through.  "It's okay." She whispered.

 "It's not okay, Cordelia." He sputtered back  "You are a student, and -"

 "And a legal adult. I'm not jail bait, Giles.  You don't' have to be ashamed ." Her eyes widened for half a second, and then they glittered.   "Are you ashamed cause it's ME, Giles?"  Her mouth dropped open, and for a moment, her lips seemed to tremble.  "That it didn't happen with Willow, or Buffy?  Cause I...  I know it would have made more sense for you to-"

 "No!" He moved suddenly, catching her arms with his hands.  "Cordelia, I could never be ashamed of kissing you, of you allowing me to.  No man in their right might would."

 She looked slightly taken aback, and then looking down, grimaced. "Xander did."

 "Xander? The name is answer enough."

 She looked at him, for a moment shocked, and then a bit of genuine laughter bubbled up from her throat, and Giles found himself smiling at her expression.

 "that was cruel, Giles." She responded.

 "Yes, well, sometimes that boy deserves it." He said, chuckling slightly.

 She smiled, and then grew silent. "Giles?" She asked suddenly. "What WAS that about?"

 He sighed, his heart beating a little faster at her direct question.  "The truth, Cordelia, is I don't know. It seems I lost control for a minute."

 "So, what? Do you like me, or something?"

 He snorted.  "It's a little more complicated than that."

 "Well, what? Giles, you just frenched me, and I'm sorry, but, it's just a little disturbing to me, no matter how much I might have liked it."

 He gave her a second look, surprise lighting up his eyes.  "You liked it?"

 "What, you couldn't tell?"

 "Well, I thought if might have been some sort of delayed reaction."

 She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Giles." She began patiently, as if she was talking to a five year old, "I liked it. If I hadn't, I would have done something about it. But it doesn't' mean I'm ready to go steady or anything."

 "Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind either." He responded.

 She gave him a surprised look, unsure whether to take that as an insult or an offhand remark.  "What, so am I such a loser that you wouldn't consider it?" she huffed.

 He looked up. "What?" he sputtered. "no!"

 "Then what?"

 "Cordelia, do stop twisting my words around. I just.. I don't believe that it can go anywhere."

 She scrunched up her nose, regarding him for a minute.  "You're being so damn smart about this Giles." She breathed out finally, and then gave a small smirk.  "I hate it when you're right."   He chuckled,and she was silent for only a minute before she ventured forth another observation.  "You know, you're the second guy I know who kissed me, and then immediately tried to take it back."

 His eyes grew round with surprise.

 She raised an eyebrow at him.  "A girl's apt to get a little self conscious about stuff like that."

 He shook his head warily, "Cordelia-"

 "Giles, I was making with the funny." She nudged him with her elbow teasingly. "Trust me, there is NO way I would compare you and Xander,ever."

 "Good." He remarked.  "Because I would be highly offended if you did."

 They fell silent, each sitting in silent companionship, when Cordelia suddenly rose.

 "Well... I gotta go. I have a date."  His eyes grew darker, and pursing his lips he said nothing as he looked away.  He knew that this bothered him slightly, and yet he knew he couldn't really have a reason to. It was just that the mental image of Cordelia Chase doing certain physical exertions with some over sexed teenage hormone made him more uncomfortable than he wanted to admit.

 She looked down at him, and must have seen  his expression because she sighed, and sat back down.

 "You wierdo." She said, laying a head on his arm.  "You can't have it all."

 "yes, I know." He responded, but he lay his head atop of hers as she sat, still for a few minutes.

 "You know," She said raising her head to look at him. "I have to think of you with those old ladies
too." She pursed her lips, lost in thought for a minute.  "But that doesn't exactly make me jealous."

 He chuckled.  "I doubt any one could make you jealous."

 "Oh, sure, Buffy and Willow.  I've wasted so much time being jealous of them over Xander." She huffed. "I should have put a big red bow on him and threw him their way a long time ago." Her hand drifted down to her stomach, and she winced ever so slightly. "would have saved me a lot of trouble."

 He gazed at her, a new look of amazement and wonder as he lay eyes on her beautiful face.

 "Why in the world do you never show this side of yourself to anyone else?" he breathed.
 She seemed a little taken back by his words, and seemed to smile for a minute, and then just shrugged.

 "People expect a bitch, I give them a bitch, Giles." she finally answered flippantly. "Just like people expect a fuddy duddy from you, and so you give them the stuffy old guy routine." She gave him a teasing grin. "And after that kiss, I know that's not true."

 He grinned, feeling slightly better.

 "Giles?"

 "Hmm?" She gave him a long look. "Don't ever feel useless, okay? You don't know how many people need you here." She bit her lip, looking down. "Must be nice."

 He was silent for a minute, and then quietly, he took her palm and raised it to his lips. "Cordelia.  I needed you today." He said, his voice thick.

 She gave him a surprise look, and suddenly a genuine smile floated on her face.

 "I don't know what this is, G-man." She said. "But it's nicer than anything I've had in a long time." She gathered her purse to her, and was about to rise, but thought better of it, and sat down, facing him once again.

"One for the road?" He grinned, and cupping her chin, pulled her lips tenderly to his, caressing them softly, and before letting go lingeringly. Apparently the emotion behind the kiss had taken her by surprise, because she wasn't quite ready to move away just yet.  She leaned forward, closing her eyes for half a second and resting her forehead on his shoulder. He smiled, squeezing her softly until she pulled away.

 "There you are." He returned. "That should last you a few years or so."

 "Oh, I'll be fine." She quipped, recovering and becoming her old self. "What I'm worried about is how you're gonna ever go back to older woman after a  kiss like that."

 Her insult caused him to smile.  "One must try."

 "Or try not to." She grinned at him again, and got up, wiping the seat of her skirt and fixing her top and hair before grabbing her purse.

 "It was nice talking to you, Giles.  Even if you are an old guy."

 He grinned weakly.  "Thank you Cordelia."

 She looked slightly confused. "For what?"

 He shrugged.  "For a moment...  You made me feel like a person."

 Apparently she didn't' quite get what he was saying

 She gave him a small smile.  "You know, one of these days, Giles, you're gonna kiss me, and you won't feel any of that icky stuff.  You'll just like it."  And with that, she turned back around, and walked away.

 Giles watched her leave, the young woman  looking  back once to smile at him before reaching her car parked at the curb.  Shaking his head at this miraculous turn of events that would now  have him thinking about Cordelia Chase in a different way for a very long time.  No matter. She would leave to Los Angeles, and the times he would see her would be rare and in between, but he knew, that eventually, he would see her.  He smiled. She was different than anyone he had imagined, and something told him he had not seen the last of Cordelia Chase.

 "One of these days." He mused, sighing to himself.  "One of these days."

Fin