Disclaimer - you know who the characters belong to. Joss the crackhead.

For - The LWDS list, who always come up with great fic. I love you all.

NOTES - Basically Amy over on the LWDS list issued a challenge to write a fic with the following criteria:
- it had to take place before What's My Line II
- It had to have Buffy and Willow in it, not in a romantic capacity, but as friends.
- There had to be leather pants (don't ask)
- Xander had to embarrassed, not by Cordelia, but just embarrassed.

Since I had just come home from working a midnight shift, and wasn't particularly sleepy, I decided to stay up and write this little ditty in response.

Spoilers for- Halloween, mid second season.

He didn't even know how it happened. Ever since Cordelia had somehow or other inserted herself into the Scooby Gang, he had taken utter delight in tormenting her to no end. Something about these verbals wars excited him, he looked forward to the matching of wits, and this was very stupid of him also, because Cordelia Chase, Sunnydale's reigning May Queen, was quite possibly the one person in Sunnydale who could actually one up him.

Her barbs were cruel, witty, and downright genius at times. She frusterated him to the point of him losing control, she gave him headaches, she made him want to murder her, she choked him up, and he loved the prospect of doing it again the next day. Why, he didn't know the reason, perhaps the idea that the most popular girl in school, the woman who had for most of her life completely ignored him, now thrived off of her conversations with him. She looked forward to the verbal bashing, he knew, and he knew that most of the time, he was able to keep the score slightly in his favor.

Now he was dangerously on the precipace of losing his lead. And all because of a stupid bet.

The bet that Cordelia and Xander had made had been very simple, made in the middle of one of their many snipy arguments;  Cordelia bet Xander that she could beat him at a game of basketball. He didn't even know how the subject even came up, something about Xander commenting on Cordelia's lack of talent, and Cordelia retorting about his lack of brains, and it had gone on from there. Willow and Buffy had learned to tune the bickering pair as soon as they started, but this time, apparently, it was interesting to them, because Buffy finally interceded, saying that they should make a bet.

And they did.  And now Xander was worried sick.

Xander was never that great at basketball,  he was pretty terrible at it.  It was the source of a traumatic grade school existance for him, memories of being the last little boy out in the playground to get chosen, of the team captains fighting NOT to have him.  After the fourth grade, he had given it up completely, he had made friends with Willow and Jesse, and discovered, quite happily, that they didn't care if he could play or not.

Unfortunately, Buffy didn't know this piece of the past when she brought up the bet, and Willow had immediately tried to quiet her, but to no avail. Cordelia was watching him, her eyes twinkling, because she knew exactly what they were thinking, and it had infuriated him. So what if he couldn't play? Cordelia couldn't play for bones, she was a cheerleader, right? He could beat a cheerleader. He was a guy, guys always could beat the girls.

His pride was at stake now, in front of Buffy, and more importantly, in front of that obnoxious May Queen. And so he puffed up and taunted, until he got her worked up enough to agree.

When they started terms,he realized what an idiot he was. Cordelia was well known for her little schemes, and his stomach had quelched as he listened.  Her terms were, that she was allowed to dress him for one night, in whatever she wanted, make him follow her the whole day at school, doing her every whim, and then, at night, at the Bronze, he would have to stand up on stage and declare his cretinhood. Ouch. The mental image of being dressed up as  a chicken flooded him, and he knew he better not lose.

His terms were actually worse. She had to do the same for him, AND declare her undying love for him. He saw the horror on her face, but she merely agreed.

Buffy and Willow were getting more excited by the second, and even Giles looked rather piqued. So here he was, on a Saturday, dressed in his gym shorts, ready to play one on one with the head cheerleader, with only Buffy and Willow as witnesses.

Eek.

He walked into the gym, bouncing the ball trepidly, only to discover she was already there. She was leaning back on the bleachers, and for a moment, Xander only looked at her.  She wasn't wearing the Sunnydale gym clothes, that was for sure. Her attire consisted of biker shorts, sneakers, and a little sports bra.   Good, God.  Suddenly Xander began to sweat just a little bit.

No, no, no... she wasn't playing fair. How could he concentrate on what little skill he had when she was going to be bouncing those.... uh, the ball, like that?

She turned, smiling wickedly when she saw him enter. "Turning chicken, Xander?" She called out sweetly, as she saw him hesitate in the doorway.

"No." He retorted, coming in and meeting her at the bleachers.    "But I will give you  a chance to back out. Come on, Cordy, this is your reputation here. I'm gonna win, and then you'll be shot to-"

"I think not." She said, raising an perfect eyebrow, and crossing her arms, standing just six inches away from him.  "I'm winning this game, Xander. And you are going down."

He swallowed, staring into her eyes, as they glinted challenging, her eyebrow cocked while she waited for a remark to come back from him, as it always did.

Unfortunately, Xander had nothing to say at the moment, he was too busy trying not to look at her cleavage.

"Damn it's hot in here." He said, stepping away, just as Buffy and Willow entered. Buffy, who was really pysched for the occasion, even came complete with a whistle.

"You two ready?" she chirped, hopping in, a huge smile on her face. Cordelia shrugged, stretching quickly. Xander tore his eyes away.

Buffy strode to Cordelia. "In all fairness, Cordy, I think you should know, we're both rooting for Xander here."

"Oh, big surprise." Cordelia rolled her eyes.  Buffy just shrugged, and Willow grinned sheepishly before the pair settled on the bench.

Cordelia sighed as she looked at the girls who at that moment she dubbed, Xander groupies.  There was no question she was going to beat Xander Harris. She had made sure it was a well kept secret how well she played. Those summer camps her parents had sent her to every summer when she was little had made sure that she knew everything there was about the game, even if she despised it. I mean, people going crazy over a little ball, she thought to herself, what was the point, honestly? But the point was, she knew how to play, well,  and she also knew Xander Harris couldn't play worth dickens.

She smiled, it was time to put him in his place, once and for all. He thrived on those little barbs he gave her, and honestly Cordelia didn't know why she took it from him.  She was going embarrass the hell out of him, and she looked forward very much to it. She was about to continue to muse to herself exactly how she was going to do it, when she immediately lost her train of thought.

Because Xander had just taken off his shirt. Cordelia had to clench her jaw to keep from reacting. Damn, there she went again. What was WRONG with her? Ever since he had been changed into Army boy, she had been struck with this insane thought that Xander actually looked good. And that was so not true. He was buff, that was true. Really buff, she thought as she watched him stretched quickly in nothing but his gym shorts. Very buff... buffer than Buffy.  Oh, God, he really look goo-

No, he didn't. He was Xander Harris, school geek, who would be utterly humiliated in two days.

"Are you done?" She asked, slightly impatient, feeling herself beginning to sweat just a little.  He nodded, smiling confidently at her.

"Prepare to meet your doom, Cordelia Chase." She smiled ever so softly.  Famous last words, Xander Harris.

***

"I'm an idiot. I'm a moron. I'm a complete los-"

"Xander!" Willow gave him a sympathetic look. "It's not your fault you lost."

"No, it's Buffy's." He said, glaring at his friend. Buffy's hands raised high in the air.

"Hey! How was I supposed to know she was Miss WNBA? I thought you guys said she hated sports."

Xander groaned, burying his head in his hands. "My life is over, it's over. She's going to completely ruin me."

Buffy and Willow cast each other agonized glances.  Each girl searched their minds for anything that could comfort their friend, but even Willow, who was still half muddled from watching Xander sweating half naked, could come up with a solution. Xander had lost the bet. And Cordelia was almost certainly going to go in for the kill.

"Maybe she won't make you go through with it?" She asked feebly. They both shot her looks. "Just a thought."

Xander groaned again, feeling completley miserable.

She watched the scene, feeling very odd. Somehow this victory was supposed to have been sweeter, instead, she was feeling ... guilty? No, way.  She had given him a fair fight, hadn't she? She was distracted, her game wasn't as good because she kept staring at his pecs, againts her will and judgement, caused her to make a few errors.   And yet.... the thought that she was going to ruin what little diginity he actually had didn't make her feel good at all.

God help her, she would never admit it outloud, and if anyone asked her, she would deny it immediately, but she actually had started to like the dorkhead and his groupies.  Damn, this was infuriating. The burrito suit would have looked so cut- dumb on him. She couldn't back out. Cordelia Chase simply did not back out of a bet, she hadn't come that far, but she *could* modify it a little.  She watched him bury his head again, the tip of his ears a soft pink, and she almost smiled, before grabbing her bottled water, musing over the feel of his thighs. She needed to remember now, she actually had an excuse to remember exactly how they felt against her. She needed to measure his size.

**

Today would be the day that he would die. His reputation would be shot.  Xander had dreaded Monday morning, bitten his nails to his fingertips, his heart hammering, his nights filled with nightmares of chicken suits and waiting hand and foot on Cordelia Chase.  He was truly mortified.

Maybe he should just play sick. Yeah, maybe, he could pretend he would sick, and Cordelia would fall for it, and -

No. She would see right through it, and it would give her time to think up something worse.

Damn Harris, what's wrong with you? Just suck it up, take it in stride, be Xander about it.

The doorbell rang and he jumped. He took a breath, pausing to compose himself and place a plastic smile on his face before opening the screen door, expecting to find a triumphant Cordelia Chase smiling maliciously at him.  He got Cordelia alright, but he was a little confused.  Cordelia stared up at him, her clothes and hair perfect, but she wasn't smiling, she was simply looking him up and down, through her Ray Bans.

"Let me in before some one sees me." she said quickly, grabbing two bags that were with her and forcing her way in.

Xander felt himself blush. His house was a mess. His mother worked two jobs to make up for his dad's drunken absenses, sometimes gone for weeks at a time, and he knew that Cordelia only needed to pick up on that before he would be the laughing stock of sunnydale High School. Not that he already wasn't, but still. Dignity had it's limits.

 But she didn't mention anything, she simply whirled, "What size do you wear?"

"What?!"

"Pants, you moron! What size do you wear?" He gulped, and told her.

She nodded, and fished into her bag, pulling what was unmistakenly a pair of leather pants. His eyes grew wide.

"What the hell?"

"No complaints, Xander. I won the bet, I dress you." She pulled out a silk shirt and a black tank. "Here. The shirt you leave unbuttoned, you hear me? Don't screw it up." He gulped, not quite believing what was happening.

"No chicken suit?" He asked weakly. She stared at him from behind her glasses, her lips twitchig slightly.

"Do you want a chicken suit?" He quickly shook his head no.  "Good, put that on, where's your room?"

He was too dumbstruck to do anythign but point.  She marched off, reemerged with a pair of boots.

"Change. Now." Clutching his clothes, Xander moved, his eyes looking behind him, making sure she wasn't going to pull out a rubber suit at the last minute.

Cordelia crossed her arms, her stare even as he watched him go, letting out a breath as he closed the door. He  had sheep on his pajamas. What kind of guy had sheep on his pajamas?  What the hell was she even doing this for?  She shook her head, glancing around the room, and then pictured his face as he gazed at her, uttering that meek little, "No chicken suit?" And despite her better judgment, Cordelia felt herself grin.

He reemerged a few minutes later, and Cordelia sucked in her breath. Oh, damn. She suddenly felt light headed. The leather pants were a perfect fit, tight in the right places. The black tank showed his pecs beautifully, and the crimson top  shirt worked wonders for his shoulders. OH, god, he looked .... HOT.

"I feel like an idiot." He muttered, glaring at her. She only smiled, before nodding her head to the door.

"Let's go, Xander."

***

Xander's head was ringing from Cordelia's instructions by the time they pulled up to the school parking lot . It was one thing after another. He wasn't supposed to say a word. He was supposed to lean only in designated areas. When she passed, he was merely to nod, or give her a "lazy" smile. What the hell was a lazy smile anyway?

"One more thing." She said, pulling out a pair of sunglasses from her purse. "Here. Wear these inside and outside."

He took them, slightly bewildered.

She was about to step out of the car, before she thought better of it, and turned back, looking at him. "I swear Xander, if you screw this up, you'll be wearing that chicken suit by the end of next period."

Oh, there was the sweet Cordy he knew and loved.  "Got it." He muttered, sliding out of car, his only thought now was what she had up her Gucci sleeves and wondering how Angel could stand leather pants. These things were  so incredibly hot. He felt like he was in an oven.

***

"I can't believe she did this to him."  Willow looked terrified as she looked for  Xander.  "Buffy if he comes in something incredibly embarrasing, can you kill her for me?"

"No, but I'll kill her for me." Buffy responded, her eyes searching as well. A bet was a bet, but God help her, if Cordelia had utterly tarnished Xander's already unstable rep then she really would kill her and tear every bo-

Check that. Buffy was going to buy Cordelia flowers. A soda even. Aware that her jaw was open, Buffy closed it. "Umm.. Will?" She nudged her best friend, who's eyes immeidately widened in shock.

Xander looked liked a GOD.  He was certainly attracting a lot of attention from everyone, and apparently the fact that they were staring didn't phase him. He merely leaned against the corridor, glasses glinting, arms crossed, not paying the least attention to anyone, until Cordelia and her Cordettes passed. Then, he and Cordelia locked eyes, and he gave her one, slow, sexy smile, and she nodded, and smiled back, before walking away. He then resumed his even stare, almost as if he was bored, and Harmony and everyone else were tripping over themselves to keep staring at him. Only Cordelia kept walking, and no one except Buffy caught the self satisfied smirk on her face.

"Willow." She breathed. "Cordy actually *helped * Xander."

"Pinch me, Buffy."

"What?!"

"Is that leather, he's wearing?"

"He is a hottie." Buffy agreed. "If I wasn't already so in love with Mr. Soul Vamp, I might-"

"He's wearing leather." Willow apparently had trouble getting past that fact.

Buffy patted her friend, pulling her. "Come on, we have to get to class."

***

He was on top of the world.  Chicks dug him. They stared at him, they flirted with him, they passed him notes, and all because he had done what Cordy had wanted him to.

He just had to stand around like an idiot, smile when she said, and keep those shades on and he was popular.  He was actually popular. Was it always so easy?

Damn it felt good.  The Bronze was even better. Cordelia had given him strict instructions not to move too much when he danced, and although Xander didn't feel quite at home when he couldn't dance his Xander dance, he still had no problem asking girls to dance. They asked him.

And when the time came for him to jump on stage and declare his cretinhood, he did it with a smile, under Cordelia's ever watchful gaze, giving her the same lazy smile he had been giving her all day. But this time, instead of smiling back, on her face was a scowl. Xander felt his smile falter, but when the crowd cheered, he bowed, and jumped off stage, immediately seeing the girls come running to him.

Cordelia got to him first, she grabbed his hand, gave every other girl a cool glare that made them back off immediately, and then pulled him outside.

He was soaring on air, he didn't mind much, they probably would think she had pulled him out here to make out, or something.

No such luck, Cordelia whirled on him in the alley, and smacked him on the arm.

"OWW!" He said, rubbing at himself. "What was that for?"

"Take those damn things off." She bit, her eyes blazing as she pulled off his glasses none too gently.  "Do you realize that Buffy and Willow have been in there trying to get your attention for the past hour and you haven't looked at them once?"

He gave her a bewildered look. "What?"

She closed her eyes, taking a breath. She shouldn't have done this. She wanted to do the guy a favor, and instead she had created a monster. Xander had aquired an ego the size of King Kong, and watching him, Cordelia felt ... wierd. It was like she was watching this skeleton Xander, not the real Xander, not the funny Xander, she was watching this popular clone, just like any guy in Sunnydale, and she didn't want that to happen to Xander.

The world needed it's Xanders, no matter how lame they were. They were what kept things interesting.

"You think things are going to be different." She said, shaking her head morosely. "I hate to break it to you, but they're not, Xander."

He gave her a shocked look, his self confident smile faltering yet again.  "What?" Cordelia looked at him bluntly.

"Don't get used to it, Xander. Those chicks in there fell in lust with an image. It's not real. Tommorrow you'll be Xander Harris again, and everyone will forget about this."

He felt his pride had been burst into shambles, and he was so enraged he wasn't able to speak for just a moment. "Kick me again, Cordelia." He finally said. "I don't think I quite felt it the first time I went down." He glared at her, and settled down on the curb.

She was silent, and then she sighed, sitting next to him. "Xander, what did you think? Honestly, I tried to do you a favor. I mean, I turn you into super stud for one -"

"Yeah, thanks!" He spat back.  "I finally feel what it's like to be cool, and you just did it so I can know that I'll never feel that again? Thanks Cordy." He sneered. "I never knew how vile you really were."

The words seemed to shock her, and she immediately rose. "I don't need this!" She retorted, getting up and walking for a few paces, and then turning and walking back. "Dammit, Xander, you are so dense! Don't you get what I'm telling you?" She said, suddenly angered. "I AM that image! What I created for you, I create for myself every day! It's not real, and it's doesn't mean shit, okay?  It doesn't matter who's after you, because all they care about is the image, and then when that's gone, they are gone, too, okay? They don't care who you really are, do you really want that? Cause I can tell you right now, that it sucks, okay?" She ranting now, and Xander could only look at her in amazement as she kept going, so emotional tears were emerging.

"I've never had ONE guy that liked me for who I was, they were all after the image, and you don't want that, Xander. You are such an idiot that you don't see it!  Let me tell you what you should want. You should want the girl who likes you because you're a moron! Who likes you because you dress stupid, and because you say dumb things, you should like the girl that saw the hottie BEFORE the leather pants, who LIKES when you say stuff, instead of not saying anything, and leaning against the wall like a retard." He was standing now, looking at her, his throat full as her eyes flashed. She stalked up to him, her voice a dead whisper now, her face mere inches from him.

"The girl who matters is the one who likes you because you're XANDER.  Images suck, Xander, and you are LUCKY I showed you that."  Good god, was she crying? Xander felt his heart heave when her hazel eyes got moist and teary, and then she must have realized what she was doing, because she looked horrified, and was about to stalk off when he caught her arm, pulling her back to him.

He pulled her against his chest, his chocolate brown eyes searching hers, his face a confusion, as if he had just seen her for the first time and was having the hardest time trying to place her.  "You're not an image, Cor." He whispered, his chest heaving against hers.  "Not anymore. Not to us."

She stared up at him, and when his face broke out in a sincere smile, relief flooded her, because she knew then that he wasn't kidding, he wasn't making a joke out of her loss of control. He was really being a friend, with her, the REAL Cordy, not the image, not Cordelia.

She stared at him, tears still sliding silently down her cheeks, and her eyes closed when a finger came gently to her face, wiping a tear off her face.

"You're not an image. You're real, and I hate to say it." He chuckled, his voice husky. "But I LIKE when you say stupid things, and I LIKE when you beat me at basketball, and I LIKE the way you can scare the hell out of me when you drive, and I LIKE how your nose twitches. I like you, Cordy."  She could feel his heart beating rapidly against hers, and Cordelia could only concentrate on his face, his beautiful face.

Oh, God, she was falling for Xander Harris, and the thought just didn't feel bad at all. It felt like the most right thing in the world. Because his words had shaken her to the core, because he had said the one thing that she had waited her whole life to hear, and when they came from his perfect lips, she could scarcely breath, and she could concentrate, all she wanted, was to hear him say it again.

"Say it again." She demanded in a shaky voice.

He gave her a slow smile, nodding. "I like you, Cordy. A lot. Because you're CORDY."

And from her throat escaped a soft moan, a mixture between a sob and  something else, and she pulled his head down, and captured his lips in hers, kissing him desperately, staining his cheeks with her tears. And when they finally lifted heads, he held her shaking form close to him.

"Oh, God, Cor." He whispered, apparently as shaken by the kiss as she was.

She merely buried her head in his neck, holding him tightly.

"Where the hell are we going to go from here?"

"I don't know." She whispered back. "But damn am I glad I got the pants instead of the burrito suit."

"I don't even want to ask." He said, chuckling.

"Hey, Xander?"

"Hmmm."

She gazed at him, her eyes streaked but shining.  "I like you too." She told him unsteadily, smiling at her ex rival. Her grin grew wider, and her eye began to twinkle as she regained a bit of her old self. "Especially when your shirt is off."