“So you ran away.” Angel’s eyes looked haunted, as he looked up at Buffy, who in turn, gave him a shaky smile before reaching for another bandage.

 “Yeah.” she swallowed.  “It all seemed like too much... I had .... I had killed you.... and Willow...and Xander...well... they had Oz and Cordelia.   They didn’t need me anymore.” Buffy chuckled nervously.  “I mean look at them, they did fine on their own,
forming that Promise, and stuff.”

 “Buffy.” Angel shook his head, grimacing at the pain his body had endured being riddled with bullets.  “No one was okay.  They’ve all been miserable for  the past eight years. And in  the end... Cordelia, Oz and Xander all ran away.  And Willow... she stayed because she had to.”

 “She stayed when I couldn’t.” Buffy carefully wiped at the blood, and rebandaged the wound.  “Yeah.  Willow was always the strong one. Even when she was alone.”

 Angel shook his head. “She wasn’t alone. She had me.” Buffy looked at him, his beautiful face, and felt herself overwhelmed  with emotion.

 “Oh, God, Angel.” she suddenly breathed, feeling her eyes flood with tears.  “I... I can’t believe it’s really-”

 “Buffy.” Angel carefully reached up and slowly drew Buffy down to him, holding her to him tightly.  “It’s okay.”

 “No, Angel, it’s NOT okay!” Buffy choked, looking up at his face.  “Don’t you see? Nothing’s changed! After all this time.... I still love you... I still.... I still want you.  I still want to be with you. And I can’t.” she wiped at a tear that began to form.  “Even when I didn’t remember... even when I was scared because you were a vampire... even then I still wanted you. .  . It’s almost like I didn’t care.... And Angel, I’ve had a normal life!  I know what it’s like to live a life and not have to worry about saving the world every other minute!”  She sat up, sighing, her voice heavy with emotion.  “Don’t get me wrong... I’m happy to be back... really I am.  I’ve always wondered if the doctors were right about me getting my memories back eventually. But... but it just seems so hard to come back to this... after all this time...”

 Angel swallowed carefully, watching Buffy battle with her inner emotions.  She was right.  She had been happy.   He had learned of her past when he had found her.  The bus that had taken her out of Sunnydale had crashed, Buffy had hurt her head severely while trying to help the others out of the bus, and she had blacked out, and when she woke up, she had no clue who she was.  And that was probably aided not just a little, Angel guessed, from the mystical energy from the Hellmouth.   The rest went like a fairy tale.  The doctor in Arizona who treated her was a kindly older man, whose own daughter had died recently.  He and his wife took“Anne”, as Buffy decided her name was, in  offering her their home until she would be able to find out who she was. After graduating from college, she found  she had developed a yen for designing women’s lingerie, and the rest, as they say... was history. Her life had been simple.  Until he had come along, selfishly hoping for one last date with her.

 “Buffy.” his voice came out raspy with emotion.  “No one is tying you here.  We have Jamie.”

 “Oh, Angel.” Buffy smiled sadly at him, tenderly caressing his cheek with a trembling finger.  “You still don’t get it. *I’m*  tying me here.  I have no choice. It’s who I am. Who I’ve always been. I can’t run away from it anymore.  From you. I have to face my destiny. I can’t let Cordelia, and Oz, and Xander, or even Willow face it for me. I have to face it alone. Not only that, Mom is going to be pissed.” she added, chuckling sadly.

 Angel stared up at her, his eyes shining with love.  “No, Buffy.  You’re not alone. You never were.” His hands reached over and covered hers, squeezing softly.

 Buffy stared into his eyes, and smiled softly.  “How are we going to do this, Angel?” she asked him softly.

 He shrugged, slowly shaking his head.  “I don’t know.” he said honestly.  “But let’s do it together.”

 Buffy stared at their hands, and then his hopeful face, and slowly smiled softly.  “We can try.” she whispered.  Angel slowly drew her to him, and they both held each other as tightly as they could, their embrace as sweet as only lovers seperated for years could be.
 

 “Hi - ho, Hi-Ho, it’s off to Watcher jail you go!” Xander whistled as he waved goodbye to Gerard as the two representatives of the Watcher Council shook Willow’s hand, and dragged the struggling man out of the library.  Turning back to the group and rubbing his hands together, he grinned.  “Looks like we’re all back toget-” he stopped taking a second look at the group that had gathered. “Where’d Cordy go?”

 Oz shrugged.  “Something about checking out of the hotel. Seems we ran up quite a bill.”

 Buffy chuckled.  “Cordelia’s got the funds to cover it.  What, she’s making a couple million a movie now?”

 “Well, that’s her asking price.” Willow said.  Angel just rolled his eyes.  “And speaking of price,” Willow continued, “I have a suprise for both of you.” she said, motioning to Angel and Buffy.  Buffy gave her a curious glance.

 “Whatcha talking about Will?” she asked.

 Willow’s face spread into a huge smile.  “Well see... I used to dabble in magic... and I found a spell that I implemented... a modified gypsy curse that makes a curse eternal, not breakable under any circumstances.”

 “Eternal?” Angel looked lost. Willow nodded.

 “You know, things such as souls, and stuff.”

 Oz’s face broke into a smile.  “Angel can’t lose his soul?”

 Buffy looked at Willow for a moment, and then back at Angel, and her face broke into a huge smile.  Angel looked... happy.  As if he had never been so happy in his cursed existence.  He pulled Buffy to him, and crushed her in a huge hug.

 “See?” he rasped. “We CAN do this together.” Buffy smiled, a tear forming in her eyes from happiness as she kissed him once softly.

 “Normal life sounds good.” she remarked.  “Thanks Willow.” she whispered meaningfully.

 Jamie still looked mystified as she looked dreamily at the embracing couple.  “So if Angel can’t lose his soul then-”

 “Him and Buffy can have sex now,” Xander clarified, knocking the romance out of Jamie’s little day dream.  Annoyed, Jamie, who had always thought of Xnader as an older brother, felt obligated to smack him on the shoulder.

 “Ow! Hey! What have you been teaching her, Will?  Xander Bashing 101?”

 Willow shrugged.  “Something like that.” she said, grinning. “See?” she turned to Oz.  “You thought all my magic was bad.” she teased. Oz just smiled, leaning over and pecking her on the cheek.

 “I trust you.” he said meaningfully.  Willow smiled, and sat down on his lap, kissing him once sweetly.

 “I love you Oz.” she told him softly.  His expression softened, and he reached up and tenderly brushed a strand of red hair from her face.

 “I know that. I shouldn’t have ever doubted.”

 “Why didn’t anyone tell me that I looked so horrible in black hair?” Buffy said, pointing to her strands, distracting the couple. “I so have to dye it back.”

 “Didn’t you ever have roots?” Cordelia asked, walking into the library. Xander sat up, becoming noticably tenser.

 “Yeah, but I would always cover them.” Buffy responded. “I never realized that I had actually kept it blonde.”  Cordelia cocked an eyebrow, her band-aid moving up over her forehead.  She looked at her old friends.

 “I got a call from Dave.” she said matter of factly to all of them.  “Apparently my leave of absense has caused quite a few problems with my producers relations. I have to go back... now.” Xander felt his heart stop. Now? She coulnd’t go now. They hadn’t worked anything out.  They hadn’t-

 “What? now?  Can’t  it wait?” Willow asked, straightening up.  Cordelia shook her head firmly.  Ignoring Xander’s face, she instead turned to Buffy, pulling out a contract.  “Here.  It’s a contract for the lingerie ads. Go over it with your lawyers and then give it to Dave.  He’ll take care of the rest” she said, and then tossed a box to Willow.  “Glasses. new frame. Compliment your face.” she said bluntly.

 Oz looked concerned as he viewed his best friends face. It was clear he saw right through her.  Unhitching his hand from around Willow, he got up slowly.  “Cordelia-”

Cordelia immediatly shook her head.  “I have to go.” she told him meaningfuly.

“Now.”  She took a breath, and smiled at them.  “I’ll  see you guys. Oz, don’t forget the premiere.”  Oz opened his mouth, and closed it, his eyes clouded as he nodded.

 “Wait, will you come and visit?” Jamie asked.

 “Well, I have a lot of photo shoots, and then I go directly into filming for my new movie. That and with haitius almost over, I have to go back to my series-”

 Willow felt her throat go dry.  She finally understood. Cordelia was saying goodbye. Oh, goodness. Didn’t she understand?

 “Wait, Cordy-”

 “I gotta go you guys.” she said, shaking her head.  “We make a good team.” she told them all with a shaky smile, and then with a tense body,  walked out of the library without looking back. The room was quiet.  Heads turned to Xander, who looked stricken as he saw the doors swing close.  There was a silence, and suddenly he jumped up  and bolted from the
room.
 

 Cordelia felt the tears begin to run down her face, and she stifled them quickly.  She had done this before. Run from the library, trying not to cry. They all had made it seem so easy.  Willow and Oz, Buffy and Angel.  It wasn’t.  Not for her.  Not with Xander.  She was doing the best... she knew that.  Being with Xander... knowing he would never love her like she wanted him to... it was too much. She had to leave. They had each other, all she had was herself. She didn’t even have Oz anymore, now that he had Willow again. She was back to being by herself. That was all she ever had.  That was all she could count on.

 “You’re running away again.” Cordelia froze, and closed her eyes.  No, not now. She didn’t know if she had the strength to walk away from him now.

 Xander ran up to her, catching her by the arm, “I said you’re running away again.” he said more urgently.

 She continued to walk. “Xander, get away from me.” she told him tartly.

 “Cordelia why are you running away?  We haven’t had a chance to talk-”

 “TALK?!” She turned, eyes flashing.  “Xander, you don’t want to talk, you never wanted to talk, all you wanted from day one was smoochies.”

 Xander looked taken aback, but as she turned back, he shook his head furiously and reached out and grabbed her arm, turning her back to him.  “Well I want to talk now!” he continued hoarsely. “You can’t just leave! You have to deal with this! With us!”

 “And what if I don’t want to?” she snapped.  “Huh? I’m leaving cause I want to, Xander.  I don’t need you.”

 She turned away a second time, and Xander felt his heart well up.  No... not again.  “Cordelia I won’t lose you again!” he suddenly rasped, grabbing her. “I can’t lose you aga-”

  She shook him off, a sob half forming in her throat.

 “Dammit Xander, don’t you get it? I DON’T WANT YOU!” she cried, so angry tears fell from her eyes.  “I don’t want you!  Unless you want to go humilate-O boy on me, leave me alone!” And with that, and a strength she didn’t know she had, Cordelia Chase tore herself from him.

 Xander felt like he had been slapped, and he stood stock still as she left.  And he lost her.  Again.