Summary: Oz has a peculiar problem
Spoilers: Faith, Hope and Trick. Mid season three. Pre W/X kissage.

For Karen

Uh-oh.

It was a problem, a real problem.

At first I didn’t think to much of it, just a little tickling in the back of my nose. I scrunched it a little, seemed to go away for a bit. Didn’t want to scratch it. Willow was so comfortable, leaning against my shoulder, asleep.

She’s the only person I know who will fall asleep in the middle of a movie. Not like that movie was that great anyway. The popcorn was good, though, and she had fallen asleep, leaving me to eat it all.

Normally, I could have gotten Buffy and Xander to chomp it down, but Xander was three rows back, and him and Cordy weren’t really watching the movie, and there was no way she’d let him touch her with greasy fingers, anyway, and Buffy was so into the movie, and into her new diet fad, (whoever told her she was fat needs to get their heads checked) that she wasn’t touching the stuff.

So I had one sleepy girlfriend, (who really did look beautiful asleep like that against my arm) taking up one arm and a greasy hand on the other and no napkins.

I have relatively good skin for a guy. Really, I do. Which is not to say that I’m vain, cause I’m not.    I just have good skin, and my mom always taught me not to touch my face with a greasy hand. So I wasn’t going to do that. And I wouldn’t wipe my hand off on my jacket or my pants, cause well…. That’s not cool either.

Sides, it was just a little tickle. Not like I was really going to sneeze or needed to itch or anything, just a little tickle.

Okay… so now it’s more than a little tickle.  I began to fidget in my seat, exerting what my little Willow likes to call my wolfy discipline to try and take my mind off of it.  Doesn’t work. I try to scrunch it away, I’ve got relatively good nose muscles. I try again. Doesn’t work.

I try to immerse myself in the movie. Doesn’t work. The only think I thing about when I’m watching the Titanic is the water.  Boy that’s a lot of water.  Lots and lots of water.

Oh, great. Now the boat is sinking. There’s even more water. There’s splashing.

Oh, this is great.  Now I have to pee, too. So I have an itch, and I have to go the bathroom.

Buffy’s crying next to me, and if I make her move right now, she’ll murder me. Willow’s mumbled something and now she’s pressed in tighter.

Oh, Willow I do love you, but that is not a good idea.

Her elbow is pressing against my bladder now.  My itch is getting worse.

Oh  man, I’m going to sneeze. I can’t sneeze. No sneezing, Oz. Come on, you can hold the sneeze, anything but a sneeze.

Don’t wake Willow up, just…. Don’t move, don’t movie, close your eyes and think about…. Willow. You never have to sneeze with Willow, right? Just don’t sneeze.

Oh, shit. Here it comes. Napkin! Napkin! No, napkin. Hand! Hand!

“ACHOOO!”

Oh, EWWWW.

Concentrate, Oz, concentrate.

“SHHHHHH!!!”

I jump when Buffy glares at me.  “Sorry.”

I gaze at my hand. There is no way THAT is going into the popcorn again.

How long is this movie anyway?

Uh-oh.

More splashing. Shouldn’t have looked at the screen, Oz.

“Oh, no. She jumped back in the boat!” I freeze. That was Willow. She’s awake. Willow is awake.

I look down at her, and she smiles, kisses me once, before snuggling back into me. No, Willow, no!

Oh, God.

“Oz, how come you’re not holding me?”

“Will, you don’t want me to hold you right now.” I whisper back.

“Either you two shut up and smooch or just shut up and let me watch the movie. “

Gee, thanks, Buffy.

“What’s wrong, Oz? You’ve got an almost expression on your face.”

I smile nervously. “Uh… I kind of need to go.”

Willow stares at me, and smiles, suddenly. “Sure Oz.”

Oh,I love you, I love you.  I love you.

I get up, moving across the aisle.

“Excuse me, sorry, scuse me.”

Boy if looks could kill.

Run, Oz, run like the wind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Whew. Thank you, Willow.

For a moment, all I can do is sit outside the theatre, just feeling so relieved that it just wonderful.

There is nothing better than this feeling. Cept maybe being with Willow.

I take a breath, and get up, moving to the door when it opens, and a big crowd comes storming out. Most of them are crying.

Xander and Cordy come out, holding hands. Xander looks pissed. Cordelia has a tissue in her hand, she’s sniffling.

“Oh, God. Oz. He DIED! What kind of a moron jumps BACK into the BOAT!!”

I feel my eyebrow raise.  Xander shrugs.  “Dawson is a wimp.” Cordelia elbows him for that one.

“Oz will back me up on this.”

“I will?”

“Yeah, isn’t that why you ran out? Cause you could have actually gotten emotional over this movie?”

What?

Willow comes out, followed by Buffy, who is weeping into her sleeve.  “He died!!”

Willow smiles at me. “Are you okay?”

“Uh.. yeah.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I know it was a harsh ending, but  I didn’t know you couldn’t take it. We didn’t have to watch it again, Oz.”

“No, Willow, it’s okay. Really.”  I felt oddly Twilight Zoneish. “That’s not … that’s wh…” I trailed off as I realized what exactly I was  going to explain to everyone one of the people that are staring at me right now.  “You got me Willow.” I said finally.

And she smiled at me, that gorgeous smile.

“It’s okay, Oz. Next time we’ll only stay for half.”

I slid my arm around her and walked out with her and the rest of the gang. “Will?”

“Yes, Oz?”

“Next time, can you remind me to bring along extra napkins and not buy that extra large soda?”

She laughs, and kisses my cheek. “Sure.”

And all ends right with the world.

FIN