a Buffy Fan Vignette by
Melissa Flores
aka Mistiec
part of the Unusual Series

Disclaimer: No, I don’t own Giles, Cordy or any other character. They belong to Joss da man. I merely use them to alleviate the stress that is my life.

Author’s Note: This is a prelude to a longer story that I wrote entitled “A Most Unusual Feeling,” this story taking place about five years before.  No actually romance here, but it’s the stepping stone, or rather, the pivotal point that later leads to the Giles/Cordelia romance in A Most Unusual Feeling.  Enjoy.

 It had been a long year.  Rupert Giles suppressed a sigh as he walked briskly up the school steps, selfishly hoping he would be able to reach the haven of his library before the summer school bell rang and the halls would  suddenly filled with a teeming mass of yelling, loud, obnoxious teenagers who were grouchy and hyper after having to be in school in the hot summer.  Oh, invariably, he admitted teenagers had their good points.  Buffy Summers was a good point. And her close circle of friends, who made saving the world on a daily basis almost like a nonstop party.  They were a good group of kids, but they were kids.  Giles was beginning to feel starved for some adult conversation, and Joyce Summers didn’t count.  An hour of sitting around, fidgetting and pretending that the two of them didn’t care about what went on that night when they were resorted to riff raff through the influence of candy bars was exactly what he didn’t need.  Good Lord, was he the only person with any common sense around here? Americans.

 Even his kids, the Slayerettes, as they had deemed themselves, had begun of late to involve more stress in his life than actual help.  Thrust into adult situations, life threatening crisis, it had forced them to deal with mature issues,  making them unavoidably considerably more mature than other seniors their age. But, despite that, they were still teenagers, and as such, they sometimes thought with their hormones more than with their actual brain. And this whole Xander/Willow/Cordelia/Oz thing was so dizzying and happened so fast Rupert’s head was still swimming trying to figure out what happened.

 Xander realizing he had feelings for his best friend would have been  inevitable, Giles thought, a year or so ago.  But this year, with Cordelia completely in love with the said Xander Harris and the undeniably calm Oz falling for the magnetic Willow, and the four of them being such a tight nit group,  Giles thought maybe their ship had sailed. Apparently not.  Suddenly Willow and Xander decided they were in love, and both briskly broke up with their other partners.  Oz didn’t take it so very well.  The poor boy was heartbroken, refusing to talk to Willow or Xander, and avoided seeing them at all costs.

 Cordelia Chase had surprised him, however. When Xander and Willow sat her down, they were as scared as he had ever seen them, afraid Cordelia would have a serious fit when she found out, but it was  nothing of the sort.  She merely cocked an eyebrow, looked at them both, told them it was about damn time, and then got up and left.  The next day, she was back to her regular self, laughing and chatting with Buffy about some cheerleading routine or another. She didn’t even bat an eye when Willow jumped from Xander’s lap and sat in the opposite chair as they entered the library.   Giles couldn’t be sure, but he could see Xander was a little hurt that Cordelia took their breakup so well. Buffy had mentioned it also, tossing it up as “just more proof that you can’t thaw the Ice Queen.”  Giles supposed it was so.

 The bell rang just as soon as he reached the doors, and Giles drew a breath or relief as he let himself into his second home.  The library, so blessedly silent, in a high school teaming with students, it was a wonderful place for a man like Rupert to work.  Nevermind that it sat right on the Hellmouth, that had only been a problem in Buffy’s sophomore year.  It was empty, as usual, Giles breathed in the musty air of books and smiled to himself, before shrugging off his blazer and readjusting his tie.  It was time to relax, he had at least twenty minutes before his Slayer and her friends would make their appearance, he was going to enjoy the time with a good book.

The sound of muffled snifflings from the recesses of the stacks caught his attention, and Giles got up wordlessly.  Growing curious as the sounds became increasingly muffled, he walked slowly up the stairs and into the stacks. The library was usually never crowded, except at the beginning of school, and Buffy and her friends weren’t to be expected for another ten to fifteen minutes at least.  Adjusting his glasses, he turned into the stacks, and felt his mouth drop open at what he saw.

On the floor, curled up into a little ball, sobbing her heart out, was Cordelia Chase. At least it LOOKED like Cordelia Chase. Giles couldn’t be sure.  The Cordelia he knew never cried.  She was the stone cold Cordy.  At least that’s what Buffy and her friends called her.  Realizing that she still didn’t realize he was watching her, he coughed stiffly.  Cordelia’s hands jerked from her face, and her head flew up.

Giles felt his heart freeze as he saw the young girl.  Her face was flushed, mascara dripped down her cheeks in tearstained streaks.  Her eyes were moist, flooding over, and her lips were trembling.  She recognized Giles without a word, and immediatlely she got up.

“Oh, God.” She whispered unsteadily, horror in her face at getting caught.  “I thought... I thought no one would be in here. I’m sorry.” Trembling slightly as she reached down to gather her things, she scrambled to keep her composure as she began to try and walk past him.

Giles’ heart was full as he looked at the obviously hurting girl.   He didn’t know what could have happened to cause her to be in so much pain, but as she began to walk toward him, he realized he couldn’t just let her go.  Stone cold or not, she was one of his students, and he did care about her, even with all her frivilous ways.   Not knowing what to do, he simply reached out and caught her arm as she swung past him.  She froze, her head down, her shoulders shaking.

“Giles,” she began softly, her voice edged with emotion. “Please let me go.”

It was the please that caught Giles off guard.  Cordelia never said please in her life. And it was the please that made him realize what he had to do.  Keeping his grip firm, he turned her slowly toward him, and cupping a gentle finger on her chin, raised it until she was forced to look him in the eye.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” He told her sincerely.  Gentle blue eyes met moist brown ones, and suddenly Cordelia’s face crumbled.  She leaned forward and Giles instinctively felt his arms slide around her, drawing her close.  She clung to him desperately, blindly, as she buried her face in his chest, her sobs now coming in one long torrent, her chest heaving against him as her pain bled from her in long tearing cries of anguish.

"Giles, I-"

"Shhh." Giles kept his arms tight, aware that Cordelia needed this, needed this comfort.  He felt bewildered, confused, wondering at the circumstances that would suddenly have him holding the May Queen in his arms, her mask compeletely gone.  That was when he realized that she actually had one.   Was this the real Cordelia Chase, then?  This sobbing girl, who was hurting so completley?  It couldn't be.

He held her in silence for goodness knew how long, as she let her pain out on his shoulder.  There was silence, as the sobs finally subsided, and Cordelia suddenly was stock still.  She looked up, her eyes filled with shame and embarrassment.

Giles colored, realizing how  akward the situtation was, and yet he felt oddly calm.  He handled her ginerly, without a word reaching into his pocket and pulling out a hankerchief, reaching up to tenderly wipe the streaks from her cheeks.

She seemed in shock, frozen in time as she felt the contact of his fingers wiping away the black.  Aware that she needed to say something, she suddenly burst.

"You actually carry around a hankerchief?"

Giles stared at her in surprise, and suddenly chuckled.   She bit her lip, and a half smile congregated on her face as she gazed him, silently moving closer to him.

"Well, one must when they are old fogies." He joked softly.  "Isn't that what you called me two days ago?"  She shook her head.

"You're not an old fogie, Giles."

He nodded, and aware of an odd sense of calm that emanated from him, felt himself draw her close again, squeezing her tenderly before bringing her to the floor, arranging her until their backs were to the stacks of books, and she lay against his shoulder once more.  He noticed without comment that Cordelia accepted his tenderness without a hint of surprise.  Her smile faded, and she was silent, the tears returning to her face.  She let them run down her cheeks unchecked.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he whispered.

"I don't know." she returned honestly, her voice hoarse. "I dont' know if I can. I'm not really used to .... this."

"It's a new experience for myself, too." His British voice was soft and comforting, and Cordelia felt herself relax.

"It's just..." her voice began to quiver.  "I love him so much, Giles.  I love him so much... and he ... he just... he just dumped me... like, like-"

Giles' arms drew her closer and Cordelia didn't complain as she broke out in tears again. Giles was silent, as he realized she was starved for this.  The way she clung to him blindly, as if she were drowning, and he was her only lifeline.  He felt his heart thud, realizing that he thought he had known her so well, and in actuality, he didn't know her at all.  No one did.

"Are we discussing Xander?"

Cordelia nodded, sniffiling painful.  She looked up at him through hazel eyes, the wounds in her eyes clear.

"I loved him, Giles.  I love him."  Her voice grew raspy as she looked down at her hands.  "How could that bastard do this to me!" she suddenly cried, her eyes flashing angrily.  "How could Willow do this to me!?  I trusted them.  I thought I had finally found...  I thought I had friends I could trust..... and they didn't even care, they didn't even-"

"Cordelia, if you feel this way," Giles broke in gently, reaching up and smoothing her hair back
"Why don't you tell them?  Let them know how much they hurt you?"

"Oh, right, so they could pour more salt?" she retorted, her tears fresh.  "You don't get it, Giles.  I cared about them.  And they broke my heart. Willow and Xander!  And Oz's. Have you seen Oz? He's destroyed.  I can't look like that!  I had to make like I didn't care.  I dont' want to look like Oz is right now.   I'm not like that  I'm more than that. I have to be..  I'm-"

"You're Cordelia Chase." Giles answered for her, as if that explained everything.  She looked stunned, and realizing he understood, bit her lip and nodded.  "Cordelia, you can't walk about with this mask all your life." Giles said gently.

"Why not?  It keeps me from getting hurt. Look what happens when I let myself go."

Giles winced.  She had a point.   Xander and Willow had acted foolishly.  Xander mostly.  That boy was a walking hormone. Aware that he could say nothing that would comfort her, he fervently hoped the words would come to him.

"Xander has problems, Cordelia.  You can't blame the rest of us because of Xander and Willow.  Some of us aren't that bad."

She suddenly looked at him seriously, and gave him a shy smile.  "You aren't.  You're the only one."

He smiled.  "You're not that bad yourself, are you, Cordelia?"  She blushed, and the look of fear on her face made Giles realize  she knew he had seen through  her mask.  "You needn't worry. You're secret is safe with  me, Cordelia." He said with a gentle grin.

She looked up, and for the first time, she gave him a geniune smile.  "Somehow I know I can trust you, G-man.  Thank you."

"It's quite alright." She sat up, taking a deep breath, and smoothing her hair down.

"Oh god, I must look like a mess, do I look like a mess?"  Giles inwardly smiled as she turned to him, waiting for him to inspect her.

"Yes." He answered truthfully.  She looked at him in shock, and suddenly giggled.

"Thanks a LOT."

"I'm always here to help."

"You old fogie."

"I though you said-"

"I changed my mind." She gave him a look, and then her eyes widened.  "Look at your shirt!"  Her hand unconsiously went to his shoulder, which had stained black.   "I'll buy you a new one.  Where'd you get it?  K-mart?"

"Walmart." Giles corrected.  "14.99."

"Figures." She retorted, and then fell silent.  "I'm leaving in two days."

Giles felt his smile drift off his face at this revelation.  "Do the others know?"

Cordelia shrugged. "Buffy knows.  Xander and Willow... they'll figure it out.  I'll let them know.  Dad wants the move to go as smoothly as possible.  In two weeks there'll be a new me," she sighed. "LA girl."

Giles pursed his lips, watching as Cordelia began to try and recreate her mask.  The realization that she was leaving, really moving away to go to college, came with the truth that he probably wouldn't see her in a long while.  "Cordelia." He said softly, causing her to freeze her previous task of wiping away as much leaking mascara from her face as she could.  "Thank you for sharing this with me."

She gave him a surprised look, and her mask fell away again, giving way to a gentle smile.  "Thank YOU, Giles." She said, and smiled nervously.  "I never had anyone I could talk to."  She got up, rearranging herself before picking up her purse.  "I better go.  The others will be here any minute, I don't want them to see me like this. " Giles nodded, looking at her searchingly.  Cordelia blushed, and turned, walking toward the door.

"Cordelia." Giles called out.  She stopped, and turned, looking at him quizzically.  "You're a beautiful person.  Don't be afraid to let it show."  She cocked her head, gazing at him thoughtfully.   A smile drifted on her face, and she nodded ever so slightly, before walking out of the library.  Giles stared after her, his face pensive.

He had been wrong about her.  Everyone had.  What kind of strength did it take to do what she did every day?  To become a different person just because everyone assumed that was the role she had to be? Admiration for the young girl seeped through him, until he thoughts were interrupted by the chatter of voices as Buffy and her friends walked into the library.

"Giles, can you believe Xander signed up for the ARMY?" Buffy said, sinking into a seat..

"He can do it." Willow piped up, squeezing her beau lovingly.  Xander blushed.

"Hey, piece of cake.  I remember the drill.  Sides, college with MY grades?"

Giles gazed at them all silently.

"Giles, you look at little weird today. You okay?" Buffy asked, her eyebrow rising.

"I'm fine, Buffy." He supplied.  "I just had a very interesting talk today."

"Oh? With who?"  Buffy queried.  The door opened and Cordelia entered, makeup intact, eyes clear, cheeks flushed, every hair perfect, every article of clothes in place.

"Cordelia!" Xander popped up.  "Still hitting those designer clothes shops with your daddy's credit card?"

She raised an eyebrow, her expression cold.  "Good Xander.  Glad you know what they are, you know the last time I was there they had a poster of people they couldn't admit.  You're face was on it."

Buffy and Willow chuckled, and Xander blushed.  Cordelia nodded, avoiding Giles gaze as she sat down next to Buffy.  "So what are we killing today?"

"Nothing yet.  We're still waiting for Giles to answer the question." Buffy said, turning to Giles.

"Yeah, G-man, who'd you have this great chat with today?"

"Some one we know?" Willow pressed. Giles felt the room go silent, and saw Cordelia looking at him with wild eyes.  He smiled softly at her.

"Some I thought I knew." He said, getting up. "And I'll leave it at that. Buffy, there's been a mysterious death and I want to look into it-" Giles continued speaking, but  noticed the relief wash into Cordelia's eyes.  He forced himself not to smile, instead, turning the group's attention to the new mission.  But throughout the afternoon, he stole glances at her, musing to himself.  Cordelia would be leaving in two days. He wouldn't see her for a long time.  She needed time to heal.  She was a different person inside.  He had misjudged her.  Respect for her flooded into him. And he promised himself that he never would  misjudge her again.