Eve by Misty Flores

PART THREE

Oh you're so vain
Now your world is way too fast
And I'm aware
I'm in love but you don't care

Turn you anger into lust
I'm still here but you don't trust at all
And I'll be Waiting
-- Goo Goo Dolls, Big Machine

Marina found a place in a week. North Hollywood.

Not exactly her first choice, but it had a nice view of the mountains, and Marina always told her she always preferred a balcony with a beautiful view over space.

For her insomnia, Robin realized, when she told her. Marina rarely slept the entire night through, and instead of going to doctors and trying to cure it, Marina had come to terms with it – it was her secret companion.

Back when she still owned the Planet, it was the only time she had ever had really, to herself – those sleepless hours in the dark.

Robin never realized how much she knew about Marina until she remembered that in a flash, staring out of the balcony of Marina's apartment.

"Well?" Marina asked her, hands wrapped around the railings.

Robin took in a breath, and looked over the city, the twinkling lights, the small cars that weaved down streaks of concrete like bugs.

"It's yours," she said finally, managing a smile for her friend. "I think you'll love it."

Marina only shrugged, wrapping arms around herself and taking it all in, looking back at the small one bedroom, and then back at her. Her hair whipped around her face with the wind, like an imaginary hand was sweeping her bangs away from her face.

Marina was going into rehearsals in a couple days, Robin was going back on tour, and Marina wasn't going to be there to come home to.

It had been a year, and Robin suddenly realized just how used to sharing her home with a stranger she had become.

"I'm gonna miss you," she finally admitted.

Beside her, Marina took in a haggard breath, deep and full of something Robin couldn't quite place.

"Let me take you out tonight," Marina said suddenly, as if the thought just occurred to her. "A girls night out for the two of us."

Robin hesitated, until Marina caught her chin with her fingertips, turned her until she was looking into her face. "It's the least I could do. I can never begin to repay what you have done for me."

Robin considered that, carefully extracted Marina's fingers from her face and frankly said, "You don't have to try. I mean, you were a bitch for a while, but..."

Staring at Marina, she tried to remember why they agreed it would be best to separate.

She coughed, stepping away from her ex-roommate and heading for the door. "You ready to go?"

Marina never looked farther away than she did on that balcony, the wind sweeping around her, the city twinkling below.

"I'll meet you there," Marina said finally. Robin bit her lip, nodded quickly, and moved toward the door.

"You don't like it."

Robin blinked, shifting in the cushy seat, narrowing her eyes over the dimly lit candles to the string quartet playing in the corner.

"I didn't say that," she murmured. "I'm just- isn't it kind of dark in here?"

Marina only smirked, eyebrow quirking merrily as she tilted her pinkie. As if by magic, a waiter appeared at her elbow, bowing so low she might as well have been royalty.

Robin waited while Marina rambled on in Italian. It was useless to try and read the menu, that too - was in Italian.

And they didn't serve water here, but MINERAL water, which Robin actually hated.

Marina said something else, and at least Robin got one of the words right, "Gratzi," she added. The waiter bowed to her, and as he left, she half-glared at Marina suspiciously. "Wha'd you order?"

"Wouldn't it be better as a surprise?" Marina asked.

"No. What if you ordered snails?"

Marina's eyebrow went into her forehead. "This is an Italian restaurant."

"So?"

"No snails," Marina said, reaching forward to cover Robin's hand gently. "Relax. You look as if any minute someone is going to come around and drag you away."

"I'm almost wishing they would," Robin muttered under her breath. Once again, Marina didn't take offense, she merely shook her head, draped her napkin over her lap.

Robin licked her lips, still lost in the obvious dark, romantic atmosphere. "Did you ever bring Jenny here?"

It was a stupid, stupid question, and Robin snapped her mouth shut, wondered at her sudden relapse into idiocy. Jenny had barely been mentioned between the two of them - a taboo subject, because she had broken both their hearts, but while Robin's had bled, scabbed over, and eventually healed, Marina's love for Jenny had dug a hole in her heart.

Her friend lost her smile, the side of her mouth pulling into a small frown, but she answered the question. "Once," she said distantly. "She dropped three forks, spilled a very expensive bottle of wine, and cursed very loudly in front of three waiters and a governor."

It sounded just like Jenny, and in that moment, Robin understand exactly why Marina had fallen in love - and why she had tried so hard to fight it.

"Shit," Robin said, just as the waiter returned with their first course. She straightened, shot him an apologetic look. "Sorry."

Marina questioned, playing with her fork, manipulating it among her slender fingers, before she said firmly, "I didn't come here to talk about Jenny."

Robin glanced up, caught her stare, and managed a smile.

"You have to admit, the food was good."

"I'll admit it," Robin said, opening her arms and waving them in surrender, stepping backwards to keep her gaze on Marina's face. "I'm just saying that I don't think any food is worth a hundred and fifty bucks."

Marina grinned, shoulders rising once in mirth. "Maybe," she agreed, "But I think you certainly are."

They were lines, flirtatious lines, and somehow Robin believed she meant them. She wanted to believe Marina meant them, and it frightened her. A year ago, the same line from the same woman would have made her fight the urge to roll her eyes.

Now, she nearly stumbled on a crack, caught by Marina's nimble fingers wrapping around her fingertips.

"Thanks," Robin said. Marina winked, and kept walking, Robin's hand entwined in hers.

They were holding hands, walking down the street, with a very expensive dinner in their bellies, and butterflies nearly making her nauseous.

When she laughed at the absurdity of it, Marina shot her a questioning look.

"I'm just thinking," she said, using her free hand to scratch at the back of her neck, wiping sweat off. "That if this were anyone else, I'd think it was a date - or a very good attempt at seduction."

Marina's look was odd, but she humored her, mouth pulling into a smile. "Yes, well, I promised never to seduce you," she reminded Robin.

Robin remembered the absurdity of that statement when Marina made it, remembered being baffled as to why Marina would make such a ludicrous request.

While Marina had never outright told her about Francesca and their arrangement, Robin had been smart enough to pick up the pieces.

In retrospect, she gathered it made sense, in it's own skewed Marina logic.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Not that I would have let you."

"No," Marina said, laughing slightly. "You were always frighteningly immune to my charm. But I understand why."

Robin paused, taken by surprise. "Do you?"

Two steps ahead of her, Marina looked infuriatingly smug. "You don't think I didn't know the effect I was having on you? You were more repulsed than attracted. You had no idea what to do with me."

Robin blinked.

"My seduction of you was never for you," Marina explained, and before Robin could be insulted, she continued, "Those games would never work with you."

Robin shouldn't have been as curious as she was, but Marina was absurdly self confident, and Robin was almost as determined to prove her wrong. "Enlighten me," she said thickly.

The bitch was actually smug. "You don't like games. You're unique. With you it is with directness and candor. You appreciate honesty. It was what attracted you to Jenny."

"And what attracted you to Jenny?" she couldn't help but ask.

"I told you," Marina said firmly, "I did not want to talk of her tonight."

"You brought her up," Robin said evenly.

"In reference to you," Marina said, squeezing on her fingertips. Suddenly, she took a step forward, until she was inches away from Robin. "And with you - the best thing would always be to be honest."

And then Marina kissed her.

There was nothing chaste about it - Marina's touch was slow, sensual, head tilting into Robin's with a sigh, warm breath exhaling against her lips, clinging to her mouth with a murmur, until Robin's eyes closed and her mouth opened wider, and her tongue met Marina's, rasping against it, sending a sudden, frightening shock of lust within her.

She froze, retreating, eyes closing, cheek sliding against Marina's as she closed her mouth against her kiss.

She opened them again to find a smoldering stare, dark, bottomless eyes.

"You don't have to do this," she whispered. "We promised we weren't ever going to fuck."

Marina's fingertips slid against her jaw, a lover's touch, and Robin fought the urge to keen into it like a cat.

"That was a promise that existed between roommates," she whispered, cheek sliding against hers to touch her tongue to Robin's earlobe, nibbling slightly.

FUCK.

"We're not roommates anymore," Marina reminded her, a sultry whisper against her neck.

Robin's self control broke like a dam bursting, and she swallowed and jerked, and slid fingers into the nape of Marina's neck, jerking her head back until she could look into Marina's lusty face.

"Good enough for me," she said, and Marina's mouth crashed against hers, suckling greedily.

Robin never believed in classifications. Top or bottom, butch or femme, none of it mattered to her.

She loved women. Loved the way they looked and the way they felt. The way they smelled and the way they tasted. She loved their curves and their hair.

And she loved Marina.

Marina wasn't a top or a bottom, a butch of a femme, but a willing partner, who kissed with passion and knew how to touch, knew what to whisper and where to kiss her.

And she laughed, against her lips and against the curve of her breast, glancing up at Robin with dancing dark eyes burning with passion.

She made jokes about vibrators and dildos and when Robin came, arching against her fingertips, Marina buried her moans in her mouth, smoothing palms over athletic legs, wrapping them around her waist and arching into her, cutting off their kiss with a desperate cry.

Robin had been nearing this precipice for a year, each day more lost, and now she wondered if she could ever find herself again, if she ever wanted to, as she kissed Marina, tangled her tongue against her own and slipped fingers between them, slippery against their moist sex, friction against Marina's clit.

Faster, until they were sliding in their own sweat and sex, and then Marina shuddered, jerked, collapsed against her, and Robin held her tightly.

Fuck.

Marina slept all night, and for some reason, Robin couldn't watch her sleep.

Marina found her on the porch, dressed, hair still wet from her shower.

Without a word, she took the cup of coffee from Marina's outstretched fingertips, held the steaming liquid under her nose, taking in the aroma.

Marina settled down beside her, wrapped in her robe, still smelling like sex and sweat.

Robin took a sip, gulped the bitter liquid down her throat, scalding her mouth.

"What was that?" she asked finally.

Silent at first, Marina shot her a bewildered look, until Robin's stone face seemed to answer her unspoken question.

"It was what I wanted," Marina answered. "I was being honest."

Robin managed a bitter smile, drinking another sip, warming her hands against the mug.

"Were you trying to prove something in there?"

Marina placed her own mug on the steps below them. "Only to myself."

Robin shook her head, heart edged into a curious place, numb, frozen. "Marina, do you even know how to be monogamous?"

Marina regarded her, fingers fussing with her hair, slightly frizzy from their antics the night before.

"Do you want me to be?"

Robin laughed weakly. "I have no idea." She looked down at her coffee, noted the dark color - the color of Marina's eyes. "I've had my heart broken too many times to fuck a friend just for the hell of it Marina, and I sure as hell don't do it just to prove to someone I can be seduced."

A beat, as Marina absorbed her words. "Why would you believe last night wouldn't mean anything to me?"

"I know it did," Robin said, exhausted. "That's not what I'm... look- you didn't have to do this, okay? You don’t - you don't have to try and repay me like this."

She expected anger, but Marina's face was chilling. "Thank you," Marina managed, mouth contorting with anger, eyes coal black. "For calling me a whore."

Robin was tired. Tired and defeated, and she didn't want Marina this way. Not after last night.

"I just think that maybe you're confused," Robin said thickly. "Maybe you've confused affection with love because of what I did - how I took you in."

Marina's stare darkened.

"I'm just saying because of Francesca."

"Ah." Marina's answer was short, and in that second, Robin knew she had lost her, because Marina's voice was clouded with emotion, and her passive even tone was lost, dirtied by anger and hurt. "I see. Because I am incapable of distinguishing the difference between you both. Because you're both so similar."

"Marina-"

"No, you're right. You're the same. Francesca never lost an opportunity to remind me what I owed her. Apparently you haven't forgotten either."

"That's not what I meant-"

"Isn't it?" Marina stood, stared down at her, contempt in her tone. "Thank you for setting me straight, and I hope you liked the night of sex I gave you for your generosity. I'll be leaving now."

Robin watched her move, step into her house, and already she could imagine Marina jerking off her robe, gathering her things.

Robin's eyes closed and she had no energy to move - her heart weighted her down, and she wondered, if she had done this to save herself, why she felt so broken.

"Fuck."

Lolita had finally succeeded in catching Marina.

She made no secret of it, told everyone who would listen about Marina and her 'making it official' - how Marina made love to her the night before she left, and how they called each other every day.

Robin hadn't heard from Marina since the day she had moved out. Marina had left everything but the clothes on her back, and on her nightstand was a check, with a note scrawled - To cover what the sex didn't.

She tore the check to pieces, burned them in the sink, and broke down in tears as she watched them burn.

Once, a month after, she gave into her weakness and asked Lolita for news of Marina.

"She's moved in," Lolita told her, a fucking smug look on her face. "I asked her to do it a week ago. She'll be settled by the time we get back."

Robin had been really fucking sorry she asked.

Robin had been fucking going insane since the moment Marina stepped into her life, and for that reason, she ended up at the Planet for the first time in nearly a year.

It hadn't changed. There were the same faces and the same tables - loud music and dykes as far as the eye could see.

She drank a lot, talked to Trina, who gave her shit about never showing up anymore, and had a new 'life partner', and found herself happy in that fake euphoria that happened when someone was desperate to forget, a shot and a word away from bursting into tears.

She was slightly nauseous when she ran into Shane, who was still sexy as hell, nursing a beer.

"Robin," Shane said, shifting her head, sizing her up, concern in her tone. "What's up? You look kinda lost."

Shane was sex and euphoria, and Robin didn't waste words. "Do you still fuck anything that moves?"

It probably wasn't the smoothest thing she could have said, but Shane didn’t seem offended, only confused. "Not everything."

But when Robin stuck her tongue down her throat, Shane made minimal protest.

It was a one night stand, and Robin remembered half way through, why she didn't like them.

Marina had fucked so many woman, and knew how to do it well, and somehow Robin didn't feel like the next in line.

Shane's fucking skills were fantastic, but it was impersonal - purely about sex, and it was what Robin wanted, until it was nearly over and she didn't want it anymore.

In Shane's bed, half naked, Robin collapsed, devastated and drunk, bewildering Shane completely.

"Fuck," she said, as the tears wouldn't stop streaming down Robin's cheeks. "It's sex! Not therapy!"

But it said something about the young stud when she merely gathered the older woman in her arms, held her close, and then just listened.

An hour later, Shane was rubbing tired fingers against her eyes, muttering, "Fuck. Now it makes sense."

Calmed down, somewhat sober, Robin swiveled her gave to her, quirking an eyebrow.

"Marina," Shane elaborated. "Showed up at the Planet like, two months ago - came to see Kit."

Robin blinked, heart tightening suddenly. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah," Shane's tone was husky, strained. "No one did. I mean - Alice was there, and she told me, but told me not to tell anyone else. Marina said she was just coming by to see how Kit was doing with it. They had dinner - Kit said it felt like she finally had Marina's blessing or some shit."

Robin sighed, eyes closing.

"She looked good," Shane said. "Alice said better than ever, and when she asked Marina what she was doing, Marina said she had run away and joined the circus." Shane's thoughtful gaze took her in. "We thought it was a joke."

Robin chuckled grimly, closing her eyes and pressing her cheek against the sheet.

"Baby, you're fucking in love with her," Shane told her frankly, her words swimming into her ears like a soft mantra. "And you gotta tell Marina because that girl will never admit it first. Not after what you told her."

"Fuck," Robin said, shaking her head and keeping her eyes shut tight against what Shane was saying. "Have you ever been in love?" Robin asked frankly, eyes opening brightly.

Shane stretched against her bed, "Yeah, and it fucking killed me," she murmured. "And Marina fell in love and it almost literally killed her, and yet we're still here - we're still beating, and like fucking masochists, we still end up feeling."

Robin stared, cheek heated now against Shane's cheap sheets.

"Look," Shane said, coming back from wherever she went. "If you really want to be happy? You gotta swallow your pride and admit that Marina makes you happy, and you need her back."

"She won't take me," Robin said. "I fucking wounded her."

"Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you can't be the person Marina thought you were," Shane answered shortly. "You took her in. You did more for her than any of us, and that makes us assholes, but it makes you amazing. You fucking gave her a reason to live."

"I don't want Marina to love me just because she's fucking grateful."

"Oh, fuck." Shane looked irritated. "Dude, listen to the story you just told me. She doesn't love you because you're a decent, honest insecure as fuck person. She loves you in spite of that. And who the hell cares why she loves you? Just be happy that she does. You're a step ahead of half of us." Robin didn't even have a minute to contemplate that before Shane shoved her shirt at her. "Now if you don't mind," she indicated toward the door. "Jenny will fucking kill me if she comes home and sees I've nearly fucked you." Robin blinked. "Or finds out I'm giving her ex-girlfriend advice about getting back the girl that outed Jenny and abandoned her horribly."

They were in town for the premiere of Marina's show - the newest, exotic Cirque was sensual and exotic, and when Robin read the program, she discovered a song with Marina's name attached as the author.

Marina was hidden behind wings and a mask, but her voice and her grace was unmistakable.

Watching her, Robin realized that she just didn't want Marina back.

She needed her back.

"Hi."

It was awkward and trite, but the best she could come up with.

Marina, in the middle of a change, nearly dropped her make up case with surprise, and Robin winced, coming forward. "I'm sorry-"

"It's fine," Marina said quickly, "Just help me with this-"

Around them, gnomes and fairies and clowns were crowded around, fumbling for make up, hollering for props.

Robin was used to it. She grabbed the wings and adjusted them over Marina's new costume, tying the knots deftly.

"What is it," Marina asked, voice low.

Robin swallowed hard, took a breath, and then just said.

"I want you to come home," she muttered. "I just... I think it would be good if you came back. I would really... I'd like it, if you did."

Marina was frozen underneath her touch, and it was as if time slowed for her, as she turned to look into Robin's face.

"I mean, I know you're living with Lolita, but-"

"Robin," Marina interrupted, voice husky, even. "I don't need your charity anymore."

Fuck. "That's not what-"

"Maybe you were right. Perhaps I was simply confusing my affection with my gratefulness."

Robin's eyes closed, suddenly stung with emotion, her words tossed against her.

This Marina wasn't hers anymore. This was Lolita's Marina. This was Francesca and Jenny's Marina.

"Okay," she said, reaching for Marina's mask, quirking her fingertips, motioning for Marina to lean forward. She placed Marina's back on her face.

It was strangely fitting.

And still, she had to try again.

"Well, are you busy tonight? Maybe we can just talk, you know? I mean," she took a haggard breath, tried weakly, "There are some things I'd really like to say to you."

Marina paused, caught in her gaze for a half second, before she shook her head. "Tonight's the party, and everyone is-"

"Highly encouraged to be there," Robin recited, nodding her head like a duck. "All right. Okay. Just thought I'd give it a shot."

Marina's lips pursed, and someone hollered her name, and she was off again, brushing past Robin.

"I'm in love with you."

She wasn't even sure she had said it until Marina paused, jerked back at her, a stranger in her mask. Robin's heartbeat hammered against her chest, and she found she couldn't breathe.

And then they hollered again and Marina was gone, lost in the chaos of the circus.

She was in a fabulous mood to get drunk tonight.

It seemed fitting, anyhow.

Except the last time she had gotten drunk, she had ended up half naked and a sobbing wreck in the bed of West Hollywood's resident sex god, and Robin didn't know if she would ever live down that if it ever got out.

Robin almost got laid by Shane, and had burst out CRYING in the middle of it.

It was so pathetic it was almost amusing.

The doorbell rang halfway through Marina's abandoned Carlos Vives CD.

The first time Marina started blasting the Spanish salsa thing Robin had looked at her like she was insane.

Now, she not only listened to it, she worked out to it, she cleaned to it. She sang the words dreadfully, never understanding what they meant.

She didn't hear the visitor at first, not at first, and when she did, she turned down the music and gazed suspiciously at the doorway -

And then nearly had a heart attack when Marina tapped her on the shoulder.

"SHIT!" she said, fumbling with her broom, nearly whacking Marina on the head. "What the HELL are you doing?!"

"You weren't answering," Marina said, trying to steady the nearly hyperventilating acrobat. "I used your spare."

"Fuck." Robin took in a haggard breath, eyes dragging over Marina's tailored clothes and sophisticated hairstyle. "What are you doing here?"

Marina licked her lips, biting down at the bottom, a habit she had picked up from Robin.

"You can not tell a woman you love her and then disappear," she said flatly. "That is what causes people to go insane."

Robin's heartbeat went from rapidly ricocheting, to literally stopping in it's track.

The change in pace was painful.

"What?" she asked dumbly. "What about Lolita?"

"Lolita?" Marina repeated.

"Yeah!" Robin said, dropping the broom and stepping over it. "Aren't you two living together now?"

Marina cocked an eyebrow, her irritation plain, as she leaned down and plucked up the broom, setting it against the wall. "We slept together once - right after you and I slept together."

Robin blinked, whirled. "What?"

"Once," Marina enunciated. "Twice," she admitted. "She asked me to house sit for her when she was gone, but I'm not LIVING with her. We were never together. It was just sex." Marina glanced around, taking in the state of the apartment. "Do you ever vacuum?"

"Don't change the subject," Robin snapped, too annoyed to be fragile. "You're NOT with Lolita?"

"Is that what she's telling everyone?"

"You're fucking practically engaged, according to her!"

Marina's eyebrow lilted in a surprised smirk. "Really."

"It's not funny! I have to hear that shit!"

Marina quickly straightened her face. "I'm sorry."

Robin winced. "I'm sorry too, believe me." She took an erratic breath, frozen suddenly when Marina carefully cupped her chin between her fingers, turning her to meet her dark gaze.

"I'm not with Lolita," Marina reiterated. "I'm in love with you." Robin sighed, tried to look away, but Marina held her firm. "I'm going to say this for the first and only time," she said flatly. "Question me again, and I will leave you." Robin's throat went dry, made her unable to speak. "I have never misconstrued my affection for you. What I feel for you is NOT what I felt for Francesca. You are decent and kind and you never would have caged me in the way Francesca did. Francesca gave me material things to keep me imprisoned, keep me hers. You let me into your life to set me free."

Robin's heart had jumped, lodged itself into her throat, and it took a couple tries before she was able to rasp, overwhelmed with disbelief, stuttered emotion, hope, "I set you free?"

"And now I'm home," Marina whispered, smile pulling at her wide mouth, and Robin had never seen anything so fucking beautiful in her life.

"I love you so much," she whispered, eyes shining with a cascade of feeling.

Marina smiled, eyes moist, like she was relieved, and when she leaned in, her kiss was soft and slow. Robin nearly drowned in her intensity, in love and scared as hell.

And fucking happy. Really fucking happy.

She woke up Marina with papers slapped against Marina's bare back.

As her lover stirred, Robin smiled, pressed a kiss against Marina's neck, feeling Marina's chuckles, intermixed with sleepy groans.

"What is this?" Marina asked, turning into Robin's body, as she settled down on the bed, sitting against Marina's stomach, arm balancing across her waist.

"It's a bill."

Marina gave her an odd look, awkwardly fumbling with the paper, squinting at it sleepily.

When she realized what it was, her eyes widened.

"What the fuck is this?" she demanded, hard anger in her voice.

"It's the mortgage," Robin said easily. "I put your name on the deed."

"Why did you do that?" Marina asked, voice like flint. "I didn't ask you to-"

"I didn't do it for you," Robin said frankly. "I did it because I took you in when you had nowhere else to go, and a year later I don't have anywhere else I want to be but with you."

Marina still glared at her.

"Stay with me," Robin said softly. "Not because you have to. Because you want to."

Marina regarded her, and strangely, Robin wasn't scared at all.

"You might think I saved you, Marina," she said flatly, "But you're the one who saved me."

Marina looked down at the bill. "So this is your offer."

"It's growing up," Robin said. "First step, property ownership. You can rent out your apartment, and if you want a view, we'll find ourselves a nice place."

Marina's eyes flickered up, and she finally smiled warmly. "I have a nice view," she teased. Robin rolled her eyes. "And the next step?"

"A real, honest to God, grown up partnership. Monogamy. Shared finances. You buying a car and not cleaning up after me every half minute." Marina's eyebrows furrowed. Robin grinned. "Are you ready for that?"

Marina sighed. "When you put it that way? It sounds so boring."

But she kissed Robin anyway.

Epilogue

I bleed and I bruise

Oh, but what's it to you

I'm only human on the inside - The Pretenders, Human

They didn't tell her.

She had to discover it for herself, when she was going through the mail and an invitation to the latest Cirque De Solei fell into her hands, addressed to Shane.

Later, she had demanded to know why she hadn't been told, why she had spent two years believing Marina was out of her life for good, and Shane had been surprisingly flat with her.

"It wasn't your business," she told Jenny, ignoring Carmen's gasp of surprise. "It had nothing to do with you."

It had caused problems between Shane and Carmen, but Shane must have later told her something Jenny still didn't know, because when Jenny mentioned it, her ex-girlfriend just kissed her softly and told her it had been for the best.

"You're over her, right?" she said finally. "Shane and Marina used to be friends – it's okay that Shane can be proud of what Marina accomplished. Don't make Shane choose. You know the only thing she puts any truth behind is her friends."

Carmen had always been infuriatingly level headed.

And somehow, they had convinced her to come with them, so that suddenly, a week later, she was sitting in a very expensive seat, clutching onto her program, staring at the tiny pictures of the cast, fixated on Marina's demure smile.

"She looks good," Shane said, arm resting on the back of Carmen's chair, offering Jenny a small smile.

Jenny couldn't agree. She felt like a child again, every shed of her confidence that came from all her years of fucking reduced to a tiny shred from the woman who had given her the best sex of her life.

When the show started, everyone wore masks, but Marina was unmistakable, dancing across the stage like a bird, mask covering her eyes but not her sensuality, and just like two years ago, Jenny was reduced to a frightened puppy, entranced by the woman on the stage, watching around her as Marina cast her spell on everyone.

"Wow," she heard Carmen say, "She's really beautiful."

"Yeah," Shane agreed, and Jenny bit her lip so hard she nearly drew blood.

Shane had been invited backstage, and holding onto Carmen's hand, she led them through the wave of dancers and storks, a genuine circus of chaos.

Jenny felt small, inadequate, and when she saw Marina there, hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, wiping off the last of her make up, her heart thudded so hard against her chest she nearly turned tail and ran.

But Carmen saw it coming, because she grabbed Jenny's hand and with a narrowed, "Don't run from this" glare, she pulled her forward, to where Shane was smiling and talking with Marina, enduring Marina's fingers scruffing through her haircut.

"I know, it's different," Shane grumbled, pulling off Marina's hand. She turned, spotted Carmen. "This is Carmen," she said, reaching for Carmen's fingertips.

"A pleasure," Marina said, and Carmen smiled warmly back at her, and then everyone waited for Jenny to come forward.

Marina's eyes were kind, warm, and it nearly broke her, as she licked her lips and fought for breath, drinking in the woman that had consumed her, broken her, and released her into the wild.

Into the weirdest and happiest era of her life.

Marina had opened up her world.

She smiled at the irony of it.

"Hello Jenny," Marina said softly, delicately.

"Hi," she managed.

Shane and Carmen, obviously sensing something, excused themselves, and then it was just her and Marina.

"You look amazing," Marina said softly. "Life has treated you well."

Marina had always been the most beautiful woman in the world to Jenny, and now, she felt her own composure slip.

"I should have gone to see you," she began.

Marina shifted, mouth pursing. "Jenny-"

"I wanted to," Jenny continued. "I did. I wanted to tell you that..." Jenny's eyes flooded with tears, and she closed her arms around herself, trying to hold on. "That I loved you too. I did." Marina said nothing. "But everything was so confusing and the thought of you there..."

A palm settled against her shoulder. "Jenny." Marina's tone was soft, comforting. "It's fine. You don't have to feel guilty. It worked out for the best."

Marina's touch burned, and Jenny's heart shuddered. She had missed it.

Carefully, she placed her palm onto of Marina's. "Can we see each other?" she whispered. "I'd really like it if we... I don't know..."

And Marina's expression stopped her cold.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Marina said.

Jenny blinked, confused, until Marina ran fingers through her hair and she saw something she hadn't seen before.

A ring.

And suddenly, a familiar brunette interrupted them, with eyes for no one but Marina, bursting into her lover's arms.

"God, you were amazing," Robin said, pressing a kiss against her lips, fingers digging into Marina's mane like she owned it.

And Jenny's heart jolted, bruised now, nearing a break, because it was Robin. And they were in love.

Marina indicated her presence, and Robin blinked.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry..." And of course that's when she realized it was Jenny, and Robin was left almost speechless. But she recovered, and on her face was a smile that matched Marina's. "Hi Jenny."

"Hi," she managed. "Robin."

Marina's eyes were clouded and Robin must have seen it, because she smiled again, "I'm gonna go say hi to Shane..."

Jenny smiled tightly, and when Robin left, Marina stared at her.

"Are you all right?"

Jenny's bitterness was nearly laughable. "You're in love."

Marina licked her lips, looked away for a minute. "It was unexpected. But yes, I am very much in love with her."

"Good," Jenny managed, eyes clouding, nodding resolutely. "Good. She deserves... I mean, you deserve..."

"So do you," Marina said softly, and Jenny's eyes closed involuntarily when Marina's lips brushed against hers lightly. "I wish you all the happiness, Jenny."

Jenny wondered how on earth Marina could break her heart again when she hadn't seen her for two years.

And still, she felt relieved, that Marina's life had gone on, hadn't ended in ashes – that Marina and Robin had been all right despite Jenny's sordid touch.

Maybe there was hope for her after all.

She had interrupted something with Jenny and Marina.

Robin, in between teasing Shane about falling into the trap that she did, had noticed Marina's intimate touches, her lips brushing against Jenny's in a tender kiss.

It was obvious to anyone that there was still deep emotion.

But when Jenny had left, Marina was right back at her side, sliding fingers through hers, latching onto her like nothing had happened.

Robin sat on the couch in the dark, drinking her coffee and considering the curious tightness in her chest.

She had promised Marina to never question why Marina loved her, to push past her own insecurity and not force Marina to remind her that she was the woman of her dreams.

But Jenny had been the first. Jenny had bewitched them both and left a scar on Marina's heart. And beautiful, bewitching Jenny was older, more confident, and still in love with Marina.

Robin stood, placed the cup of coffee on the coffee table, on a coaster, because Marina would give her enough shit about not taking it all the way to sink as it was, and headed to the bedroom.

Marina was reading Patricia Cornwall, who was a horrible writer, in Marina's opinion, but made an interesting case for Jack the Ripper.

"You ready?" she asked, barely looking up from her book.

Robin shrugged, pulling off her shirt and sinking under the covers, watching as Marina snapped her book closed, switching off the light.

She was in love with the devil.

Robin smiled at the irony, kissing Marina's shoulder and sliding her palm along the curve of Marina's hip, pulling her into her.

Marina was careful, reaching behind to rake a finger nail softly across her cheek. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Robin murmured.

"Don't lie to me," Marina said, shifting in her arms. "You're a horrible liar."

Robin quirked an eyebrow. "Well you would know. You're the best liar I know."

"I know – I'm very proud."

Robin made a face.

Marina waited, and finally, Robin just sighed.

"Jenny," she said flatly. "What do you think?"

"Ah." Marina 's eyebrow furrowed, and she lay back against the pillows, darting a tongue around her bottom lip. "She looked sad."

"Well, to see two of her exes have decided to up and get married would be a shock for anyone, I think," Robin agreed. "Especially when that person is still in love with one of them."

Marina's eyes darkened, narrowed. "Ah," she said finally. "And there it is. You're insecure about Jenny and I."

Robin looked away, embarrassed by it. "I saw you kiss her."

"And you also saw me come back to you."

Robin laughed bitterly. "Look, Marina – I was there, okay? I was in love with her once too, and you nearly died for her."

Marina considered that.

"Maybe," she admitted. "But Robin – I live for you."

It was that simple.

Robin looked down at her, found herself palming the side of Marina's face, wondering how the hell she had gotten to this point, in love with Jenny's demon, who had somehow become her personal angel.

"God, Marina," she said, tears shining in her eyes. "You spin some unbelievable bullshit."

Marina rolled her eyes, and Robin shut her upcoming retort by swallowing the words with a kiss.