DISCLAIMER: Xena, Joxer, Gabrielle and the rest of the gang belong to no one but Ren Pics. But they suck. Muchly.
DISTRIBUTION: That Was Scary, Reality is Nothing But a Collective Hunch. Various list archives. Everyone else, please email me.
AUTHOR’S NOTES:
The third story in the Moment In Time series.
If you’re having trouble keeping track of where and how this is taking place, feel free to look at the series timeline here: http://www.geocities.com/mistiec_reality/momentintime.html
Beware, there are TONS of spoilers for the series and where it’s going.
A big thanks to Edgar Rice Burroughs, for his Tarzan books. I used and abused his theme here a bit too often. ;-)
~*~
Breathe
by Faith Hill

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face
and I've never been this swept away

All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
is the beating of your heart

Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
And suddenly I'm melting into you

There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in your touch
A slow and steady rush

Baby isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe.
Just breathe

In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down
Closer than I've ever felt before
And I know and you know
There's no need for words right now

Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
And suddenly I'm melting into you

There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in your touch
A slow and steady rush

Baby isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe.
Just breathe
 

~*~

There's a dream that I've been having. It's very odd, but of course when I'm dreaming I never think it's that odd at all. In fact, I think it's perfectly natural.

See, before Egypt, or maybe during Egypt, it started, and I would always ignore them because I always thought I had this very fractured state of mind. I was allowed to have these thoughts because well... they were my thoughts... they didn't affect anything else but what was inside of me...

I knew eventually that I would have to face them... because as soon as I would wake up, my heart beating and my eyes wide and my skin sweating, the panic would come. And I would push the dreams back and just blame them on the heat.

See, these dreams were about Joxer.

And when you dream about Joxer, it tends to upset you, because well... he's Joxer. I never was attracted to him, well at least I didn't think I was, because I mean... Joxer is... Joxer. You don't really see him as a guy, well me and Xena didn't because he was always... Joxer.

He's just... our friend. Our dorky, clumsy friend that we travel with, that we depend on to be Joxer. I was never supposed to enter the equation that I would find him attractive, because that would complicate things, and me and Xena, we don't need any more complications. We have too many as it is.

But then I started to see him as other people did. In Melodia, when he had that sweet face on for Amoria, a face that was serene, affectionate, almost.. beautiful in a way. He had this smile on his face, without reservation, without false bravado, just this small, sweet smile, and that made me stare.
 
I realized Joxer was a handsome man. I realized other girls found him handsome. And I realized I didn't like that at all.

I ignored it, because there was too much else to think about it. I got angry when I felt any sort of attraction to him, and he suffered more than once from my punches and pulls because no matter how he was changing in my mind, no matter how often I kept seeing him in this new way that would make me tingle inside, he was still our friend Joxer.

It's confusing to take. My life belongs to Xena and to Eve. I had known that. I had never, ever thought that maybe it could have another element to it, a romantic element of... of love.

I never even knew Xena picked up on it until she had the bright idea to head down south of the Nile, just the four of us.

The deserts had given way to lush greenery, to beautiful jungles, and I wrote of the wonders I saw. There were animals that I have never seen before. It was amazing.

And the dreams kept coming.

It was just the three of us for a long time, and the proximity was disturbing to say the least. I would see Joxer, half naked in this Egyptian garment than Xena had made him wear, and suddenly the little wall I had built against my odd attraction was torn down because he wasn't wearing his Joxer clothes. He looked like a man.

And the dreams weren't helping.

In the haze of slumber, in the realm of Morpheus, I would hear him, I was in his arms, and in this fantasy, like always, he would tell me he loved me, and the words would fill me with such... such relief and wonder that all I could really do was breathe.

And when I woke up, he was there, being his old self, with those beautiful brown eyes, never more than five feet away because the jungles were getting denser and the four of us and the horses made a very crowded party.

And I would feel myself tingle, my awareness of him growing, and it was killing me. I didn't need it. I didn't need to feel this for him now, this lust just because he looked good... just because we were the only humans out here in this heat.

Gods, it was hot. It's so hot that you can literally feel yourself baking. And it's humid, so you're always sweating, always hot and sweaty, and the feelings and the thoughts that come with that leave you... confused, to say the least.

I respond badly to confusion. I tend to get a bit cranky, a bit angry, and a bit... well bitchy. And because I know I can... I tend to take that out on him. It's not good... and he's started to stand up to me and for that, I'm proud of him.

But I started to take it too far, and I was called on it. Xena was in pain. She had lost a man I knew she could of or did love and my constant bickering about the heat and about him hadn't helped. She didn't need the tension, and when I finally let him have it, she let me have it.

And she floored me.

Suddenly she tells me that I'm in love... with him. I've been in love before, at least... I think I have. I married a man I loved and barely knew and these feelings, they weren't the same.

I tried to deny it, but she didn't let me.

In the end all I could do was stand there, and when Joxer came back, I still didn't know what to think, but I did know that I had to fix it. I didn't want to lose him, not as a friend, not as Joxer, and so I tried to make things okay.

And they were for a while. We were friends, close friends, just like always. There was a new peace in that camp, in Xena's eyes, in Joxer's ... in my own.

But the dreams changed that night.

I was still in his arms, he was still holding me, and I was still magnetized by everything I saw as I Suddenly I wasn't hearing him say he loves me... I was telling him.

I woke up that night in a cold sweat, a marvelous feat considering how hot it was.

"What's wrong?"

My head jerked to the side, and he was sitting up, blinking, his eyes wide in concern.

"Joxer?"

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep," he mumbled, leaning back on his pelt that was only a foot away.

I looked at the sleeping arrangement, and realize just how close I slept to him. Xena was always on my right, Joxer was always on my left. And my pelt was always so close to his... I had never really thought about it, until now.

"I just... had a dream, is all," I responded softly, shrugging.

"A nightmare?"

I gave him a long look, gazing into his eyes, his face illuminated by the moonlight that had managed to trickle through the dark canopy.

"No," I said softly. "It was just... startling."

"Oh." He pursed his lips, and looked over me to Xena's form, huddled with her child sleeping soundly beside her. He lowered his voice, and leaned in closer, the worry not quite dissipated. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

He nodded, looking as if he might press the issue, and I prayed he wouldn't. Turning to look at the dark jungle around us, hearing the howls, the voices of the birds that chirped, I suddenly shuddered, pulling my knees in closer. "Why couldn't you sleep?" I asked softly.

He shrugged, looking at my pelt, and then up at me. I nodded, scooting over a bit so he could sit beside me. I felt his shoulder rub against mine, and the contact made me smile a bit, before I caught the emotion, and stifled it.

"I was ... thinking... "

"About what?"

"Home." The longing in his voice took me by surprise, and I gave him a startled glance.

"Are you homesick?"

"A little... but.. I was just thinkin' how different things would be... if you know... stuff never happened."

"Like what?"

"Like if you and Xena had never gone to India. Would you still be wearing that green little shirt? Would your hair still be long? Would Xena have Eve?"

I licked my lips at the recollection, and cocked my head, considering the possibility. "I'm not sure," I answered honestly. "I think everything happens for a reason. I mean, there' s a reason we went to India... a reason why I chose the way of peace when I did, a reason why Xena and I were crucified..." a bit of light shone in my eyes, and felt myself suddenly freeze, remembering what Eli had told me. "Joxer..." I began.

"Yeah?"

"Eli told me that the reason you went to Rome was because you had dreams..."

I couldn't quite see the expression in his face, but he seemed to stiffen a bit, coughing slightly before answering a hooded, "Yeah."

I turned, staring into his face, my expression curious as I asked, "What kind of dreams?"

"Nightmares ... mostly," he looked uncomfortable, but he kept going, swallowing. "Just of you .. and Xena, in trouble."

I was quiet for a moment, my thoughts suddenly whirling. "Joxer did that ever strike you as odd?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... having dreams of us in trouble... being led hundreds of miles because we were... that's... that's amazing," I whispered, my voice thick with intensity. "Why didn't you ever tell us?"

"I..." he licked his lips, I could barely see his face, but the expression on it was slight discomfort, as if he was embarrassed. "I never... it wasn't that big of a deal."

"It was TOO a big deal." The statement came out a little loud, and Xena moaned slightly. I jumped, moving close to Joxer, feeling his arm go around my waist in surprise. For a second, we only stared at Xena, hoping she wouldn't wake up. Eve did a little movement, but then there was silence, and I felt myself relax. There would be hell to pay if we woke Xena up.

Biting my bottom lip, I exhaled, leaning against him for a second, and it was then when I realized how close he was to me. I froze, and looked up, found him looking at me with an odd face of bewilderment and confusion.

"I..." I took a breath. "Let's talk about this in the morning, okay?" I whispered, pulling back a bit. Immediately his arm slid from around me, and he nodded, blushing slightly.

Without warning I felt my hand catching his, stopping him. He paused, and I swallowed, looking at him, confusion filling me, the feeling of the dream, of being in his arms and wondering what that would really feel like coursing through me.

I bit my lip, not quite believing I was actually doing this, knowing that honestly, I really shouldn't.

But my body refused to obey, and without another word, I slipped down, lying on my back, pulling him down with me.

He was tense, and when I moved, resting my head on his chest sliding my hand around his waist, I could feel his heart beating tremendously, terribly fast against my ear.

"Good night," I whispered, closing my eyes, and poor Joxer couldn't answer. He must have waited an eternity, but after a while, his hands slid around me, and I smiled.

It wasn't that bad, falling asleep in his arms.

It was nice.

~*~

The sound of rustling under me jarred me from my sleep. My eyes opened, and I felt a hand on my shoulder, shaking me.

"What's going on?" I asked, my voice thick with sleep. Joxer squeezed my shoulders, pulling us both up to a sitting position and pressing his finger to his mouth, indicating to keep quiet.

The fear in his eyes wiped the sleep out of mine. I felt my hands creeping for my Sais, and slipping free from his arms, I looked furiously around the camp.

Xena and Eve were nowhere to be found.

My eyes widened, and Joxer only shook his head, stealing to his pack and quickly putting things in. I followed suit with my things, freezing when I heard the movement of the branches, the footsteps coming this way.

Xena burst into the clearing with Eve, and the horses looked up, startled.

"What's-"

"People are coming!" she said, sticking Eve into the cradle she wore on her back. "Come on."

I felt my heartbeat quicken, but I nodded, trying to get my things together as quickly as I could.

We weren't making any noise, until I pulled on my blanket, and didn't realize Joxer's foot was standing on it.

He tripped, letting out a loud yelp. Xena froze, and our eyes met quickly when we heard yelling not ten feet away.

As I scrambled up, the thickets parted and suddenly ten small, wiry, dark skinned men wearing what appeared to be only thongs ran through, bows drawn with arrows that had some sort of liquid dripping from the tips.

They yelled at us in a language I didn't understand, and I swallowed, frozen in my place. Xena's hand was on her chakram, Joxer still on the floor.

The men stopped, and I noticed all of them were riveted on me. Eyes widened, and the muscled, taught men seemed to ignore Xena and Joxer all together as they spoke in rapid, clipped tones, gesturing towards me wildly.

The sun was coming up, and it illuminated the small clearing further. I looked to Xena for help, but she looked just as confused as I was, as the bows and arrows came down.

My hands began to reach for my Sais, but Xena shook her head slowly, as the men fell to silence.

A golden ray managed to seep through the foliage, and I could feel it warming me. I didn't pay attention to it, instead raised my hands slightly, and began in the most soothing, conflict free tone I could muster, "We mean you no harm."

Again they began to talk to each other, and  I looked down to Joxer. He slowly stood, looking bewildered.

"So are they going to kill us, or what?" he murmured. I elbowed him in the stomach, and he quieted.

The sun was still rising, and more light came through the trees. I raised my hand to my hair, brushing the bangs back, and at this action, suddenly the men's bows dropped.

My eyes widened, and I gasped at their next action.

They all fell on their faces, all around me.

Utterly confused, I looked towards Xena for an answer.

"Gods, they're bowing," she whispered.

~*~

It was raining; hot, wet droplets that did nothing but make it even more humid, made the labor for breath even more difficult. The men who were taking us with them didn't pause. They were walking so fast it appeared to be a run, and even Xena seemed to have trouble keeping up with their strong wiry forms.

I gave her a worried look, but she just shrugged, walking at the fast pace alongside of me, keeping an eye on Argo.

The men hadn't even wanted to touch the horses at first, I'm guessing because they had never seen a horse before, and I was glad. Something was wrong about all this. Xena and I were at a loss for what's going on, but Joxer's casually remark that he thought that they'd start praying soon made me realize exactly what was happening.

They thought I was a God. They wouldn't touch me, every time I spoke suddenly they were all bowing again, and only when Xena or Joxer came forward did they deign to get up. They stared at me with this awe, and gestured wildly to my hair, to my skin.

It was the hair... it was blonde hair, and the sun... Gods... I was the Sun God! The problem was, Xena, Joxer and I could do nothing to dissuade them of the ridiculous notion that I was their God. I couldn't speak without them falling to their faces, so Xena and Joxer had to do it, and even Joxer's big words and idiotic phrases only made them smile and nod, shaking their heads.

They didn't have any problems touching Joxer or Xena, and after they got over their fear of the horses, they didn't have any problems touching them. Argo was a bit more sacred to them, because of the golden mane, and when I touched Amber, soothing the animal, suddenly they couldn't touch her either.

And the next thing I knew, they were taking us someplace. Xena didn't want to argue. They hadn't done a thing to harm us, and I knew that it wasn't wise to just break away from these people, who most likely knew the jungle better than we knew Greece. Still... something in my mind told me that something was very, very wrong.

I had this terrible feeling that this was not good, and being mistaken for some kind of deity was not soothing my worries at all. They even sacrificed something. It was odd. I led Amber, through the dark, dense greenery, and suddenly they halted, and an arrow was let loose. My eyes followed it's journey, and heard a squeal as a pig about fifty paces away suddenly cried in pain as it landed in it's shoulder. It ran from us, but didn't make it more than ten feet before dropping dead.

"Poison," Xena breathed, and my eyes widened as I looked at her.

"You mean that's what's dripping from their arrows?" Joxer asked, coming up behind us. "Yikes."

Yikes, indeed. Shaking my head slightly, I swallowed, taking a breath. "I have a very bad feeling about this."

"Yeah, me too. What if they don't cook their meat?" I elbowed Joxer, giving him a glare. "Oh, you mean about them."

Xena pursed her lips, her blue eyes dark with thought. "Gabrielle, I don' t know what we can do about this yet. Let me learn a little more about them. Once they realize that you're human-"

"They might shoot us," Joxer said, his face almost comical with the way his lips puckered in thought then.

"Joxer, shut up," I muttered, rolling my eyes and turning back to Xena. "Xena, I think that- oh my Gods." Her eyes widened in sync with mine as the men suddenly bowed before me, the pig at my feet.

"Umm... Xena did they just-"

"Uh huh," she said softly.

"Well... bless it or something," Joxer said, nudging me.

"I - uh.... " I waved my arms dramatically. "There." The men smiled, bowing their heads. I blinked as they picked up the pig and we continued our journey.  "I have a very bad feeling about this."

~*~

The feeling didn't change. We arrived at their village about half an hour later, and when we entered what appeared to be about twenty or thirty little huts in a clearing, suddenly little naked children ran up to us, pulled away by their mothers. The men were in front of us, as what seemed the whole village came out to meet us, talking in the language that we didn't know.

Xena stood in front of me, hugging Evie to her, and even our little girl was quiet, eyes wide as if she didn't know just what to make of what was going on.

The village quieted suddenly, and the crowds parted and it was then I realized that the village had a lot of skulls around the place.

A shudder than through my body, and I licked my lips in anxiety, seeing an old man with lots of beads and body paint on him come forward, hanging on a cane. The oldest of the warriors came forward, bowing in reverence, and again began to speak to him, gesturing towards me.

The old man, I'm guessing he was the leader of the camp, moved toward me, and began to talk to Xena, who only looked at him with this very confused expression on her face.

He waved to me, and then grabbed Joxer's arm, and pulled him to him, and began to speak to him too.

Joxer looked at me, and then his eyes widened. "OH!"

"Oh, what?" I asked. Suddenly the warriors dropped and put their faces to the ground again. "Oh, will they STOP THAT?!"

Joxer suddenly pulled up the warrior, and gingerly, they all stood, eyeing me warily.

"Priests!" Joxer exclaimed, a satisfied expression on his face. "They think we're your priests or something."

"A priest?!" Xena appeared disgusted by the thought. She crossed her arms and regarded the crowd. "This is too much."

The man again said something to Xena, and raised an eyebrow.

"Look, we're NOT priests, and she is NOT a God," she said, thumbing towards me.

"No kidding."

I glared at Joxer, but he just smiled, obviously enjoying this.

The man came forward, his eyes looking into mine. I'm guessing the color of my eyes must have shocked him, because he suddenly fell back, and my eyes rolled heavenward when suddenly he was on one knee.

The whole village followed suit, and Xena clucked her tongue.

"Well, there you have it, Gabrielle. You're their God."

I took a breath in, stepping closer to her and Joxer. "I really don't like this."

~*~

'You know, I could get to like this," I said, smiling at Joxer. He merely glared, and picked up another piece of pork, popping it into his mouth.

"Don't get used to this, Sun God," he said, resting his elbow on his knee as he looked back at the dancing tribe.  "Xena wants us to leave as soon as they stop bowing to you."

My smile faded a bit, and I nodded. I looked around, wondering how on earth she managed to escape when everyone was watching us so closely.

"I hope she comes back soon," I said, rising on my elbows on mat of reeds, and fingering the beads on my throat anxiously. She said she was only going to scout the area, try and figure a way to escape without them catching us, but she had been gone a while, and it was starting to worry me. People had a way of being fickle, and I had a feeling that this tribe was no exception.

"Joxer."

"Hmm?" Tribesmen looked toward us, and to give us something to do so they wouldn't stare, he picked up a morsel of the roasted meat, gently placing it to my lips. I found myself suddenly amused. He was taking to this priest thing rather well. Xena had ducked out immediately, and I knew why. The idea of waiting on me hand and foot was certainly not her idea of a good time. But Joxer didn' t seem to mind it at all. While the natives were dancing and chanting by the fire, their drums beating, he had stayed beside me, and it made me feel safe, loved.  In the flickering light of the fire, he seemed to glow, and I swallowed, feeling my heart give a curious thump. I glanced at it, then at him, but he only shrugged, blushing slightly. I felt myself smiling back, and leaned forward, gently taking it between my teeth, chewing slowly, never taking my eyes off of his.

Something about the movement was so intimate, so ... sensual that I felt myself shudder, and he swallowed, wiping his hands on his skirt, and coughing, looking red.

"What?" I asked, sitting up, resting a hand on his shoulder, ignoring the chanting and the music before us.

He was quiet for a moment, and his voice was soft when he asked, "What are you doing, Gabrielle?"

I was genuinely confused.... startled. "What? What are you talking about?"

"This... you... that... look you're giving me.... I don't get it."

I felt suddenly very foolish. I didn't know what I was doing, but it had felt GOOD. It had felt right... and Joxer had just...

"I wasn't doing anything Joxer," I said hotly, leaning back, my face and my voice passive, looking at the tribesmen as they danced in front of us, the feathers and the paint so bright against their oiled bodies.

He was quiet, and then turned to face me, kneeling down below me so that I had no choice but to look into his eyes.

"I don't want to get you mad at me, Gabs," he said a bit hoarsely. "It's just... we're friends, and..."

"And what?"

"And..." he scratched at his neck, flushing a bright red. "Friends don't screw with each other's heads, that's all."

I was still, staring into his face, suddenly feeling my stomach drop. I tried not to get angry, his face was so hurt, so ... afraid that I found my voice tremoring when I asked, "Is that what you think I'm doing?"

"Ahidie!" Joxer's head jerked in sync with mine to see the leader kneeling on the platform, bowing in reverence. Immediately I looked toward Joxer, and he nodded, standing up.

The man began to speak to him, and gave him a bow and arrow, motioning toward me.

Joxer gave it a puzzled frown, but the man only motioned again, and finally Joxer sighed.

"Umm... okay." He gave it toward me, as I sat up.

I had no idea what they wanted me to do. My eyes flew up to Joxer and he pursed his lips.

"Bless it or something."

So I did my little arm wave thing again, and the man nodded, and he turned, and suddenly the natives began to whoop and holler, and the dancing began again.

I pursed my lips, my mind taken off of my situation with Joxer as I looked at the dancing. In a way, they reminded me a bit of my Amazons, and if were true, I wondered if they were as savage.

"Xena's not back yet," Joxer said, coming to sit by me, shaking his head a little. "You think we should be worried?"

Yes, I thought we should. But the anxious look in Joxer's face made me not want to alarm him. Instead, I said softly, 'I don't know, but you know Xena. She's fine."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

We fell into silence, and I felt his thigh against mine, and again the awareness entered me, made my body so tense and I had to bite my lip and clench my fists, and I carefully scooted away so the contact wasn't there anymore. I swallowed, and looked towards him, but he looked so preoccupied, and for that I was grateful.

Taking a breath, I began softly, "Joxer?"

He looked at me, and I was struck with the intensity of his eyes. Gods... he was... he was... he was... a beautiful man.

"I...I..."

"Spit it out, Gabby," he said, smiling at bit at my stutter.

I felt myself deflate with the anger that rose in me. "Nothing," I snapped.

"Fine."

We spent the rest of the night not speaking, just staring at the tribesmen and their families, dancing as the moon came up.

My worry arose, and blocked out my conflicted feelings, because as I fell asleep in the hut that they had given me, Xena still hadn't returned.

~*~

Yelling outside the hut woke me in the morning. The mat of reeds I had slept so well on was crumpled, and I found myself rolling off of it, wiping at my eyes, not sure of what was going on until a very familiar voice was calling my name in Greek.

I froze, my head snapping up and my eyes widening. "Joxer," I whispered.

I ran to the door, opening it, and felt my heart skip a beat.

"Gabby!" he cried, "Get out of here! Now!"  He was struggling against three of the natives, holding him, holding a ... a spear to his throat. Gods, what happened?!

"Joxer!" My hands reached for my sais, and I found myself slapping air. Oh, Gods... the sais were in Amber's pouch. Dammit.

"Joxer!" Natives started running in my direction, and Joxer cried again.

"Gabs get out of here! NOW! Please!"
The men advanced, and in their eyes was a murderous rage, one that set my pulses pounding and my heart racing.

The first one reached me, and immediately I swung him over my shoulder, kicking him in the groin. Another came behind me, and with a furious yell I kicked back, sending him with a thud against the hut. I would have continued the assault, but out of the corner of my eye I saw something that made me freeze.

A warrior had a spear dripping with poison directly to Joxer's heart.

He leaned back to plunge it in, and I felt my heart wrench, and a mangled cry was torn from my throat.

"Wait!!" I cried, my hands out, making the man stop in mid thrust. He looked toward me, and I raised my hands in surrender. "Please... don't hurt him. I won't fight."

"Gabrielle what are you doing?" Joxer said, eyes wide with disbelief. "He'll kill you and me anyway."

I felt my throat go dry, and found I could only shake my head at him, as I felt the men grab me and hold me from behind. "I... I... couldn't let them hurt you."

My arm was almost wrenched from my socket as I was pulled away from him. I pulled, turning to look at the man when suddenly a pain exploded in my head, and my knees gave out, and everything went blank.

~*~

I was dreaming again.

But this dream was so different. The heat was unbearable, and I couldn't reach him. I couldn't say anything and I threw myself against the invisible bonds, and in there end there was nothing but heat... humid, heat that threatened to overwhelm me, suffocate me.

I awoke with a jerk, my hands flailing and catching bars as I felt myself swinging under.

My eyes opened, and then closed immediately when I felt the welt at the back of my head, the pain still splintering my brain.

"Gabs! Are you okay?" The swinging and the pain made me slightly nauseous, and I groaned, grabbing the wood and trying to keep myself under control.

"Give me a minute," I breathed, reaching back to my head and finding the spot wet.

"Gods, you're bleeding."

I squeaked open one eye, and then another when the pain didn't seem so great. I was in a cage. A swinging cage. My eyes slid across the room and met Joxer's, who was in an identical cage,  staring at me with these wide, concerned, and very fearful brown eyes.

"What... what happened?" I rasped, holding my head, wincing at the bump on the back of my skull.

"I don't know..." Joxer's brow furrowed, looking back at me. "Are you okay, Gabs?"

"I... I think so..." I blinked, and then slowly, leaned forward, thankful that the pain had now ebbed to a dull ache. The wound wasn't that bad. I had a headache, but that was all. Leaning against the wood, I rasped, "Did Xena get back yet?"

"I haven't seen her."

Xena... oh Gods. My heart jolted then, and worry filled me. "Gods... what could have happened to her?" I was almost trembling with emotion. She should have been back by now... she was never gone this long...

Joxer licked his lips, looking terrified as he began, "Gabrielle, they sold Argo. I mean, traded her or something. I saw them. I got up early and I saw the guy take the bow you waved at and leave... They came back and the bow was broken. Some other tribesmen came with them, and one guy... he was dead... and they gave Argo to the other natives.... She tried to fight but then they were gonna shoot her with the arrow, and... well I calmed her down..."

"You let them take Argo?!" I asked, my head jerking up.

"They were gonna shoot her! I figured... well I didn't figure anything... I just didn't want them to kill her."

I pursed my lips, nodding slightly, closing my eyes as he continued the story.

"And then one of them said something about you and they all like... got really mad and grabbed me and..."

"That's when I woke up," I whispered, biting my lip as I leaned back against the bars. "I knew this was a bad idea." I pulled myself up, heard the chanting and yelling outside, and swung the cage with my momentum, trying to see out the window. I caught a glimpse, and what I saw made my throat go dry. "Oh... Gods."

"What?"

I had to swallow before I could rasp the words out. "It's... it looks like a sacrifice, Joxer."

His eyes widened, and he did the same thing I did, although with a lot more jerks and a lot less rhythm. He saw the burning bonfire, the paints, the two poles that were in the middle, wood around it.

"Burned alive?!" he squeaked.

"Somewhere along the way they must have figured I wasn't a god, and you weren't a priest," I said, biting my lips. "Gods, where's Xena?"

"Burned alive?" he repeated.

My head jerked to view him, and suddenly my heart shuddered at the sheer terror on his face. "Joxer," I whispered, coming forward, my voice becoming gentle and quiet. "Hey. Look at me, look at me, Joxer."

He did, his brown eyes moist with emotion.

"We're going to get out of this, okay?" I said, reaching my hand out, trying to close the space between us. His eyes went to it, and without a word his own arm reached out, enclosing out hands and entwining our fingers.

"Gabs," he rasped, looking at me, licking his lips and squeezing my hand tightly. "I... whatever happens... I ... I love you... okay?"

Something about the way he said it, the desperation, the fear... the lack of hope made my eyes water and my stomach drop and my heart break. I began to struggle for breath, and the only thing I could concentrate on was our hands, closed together. It was the only ground I had, the only thing keeping me breathing, keeping my mind from opening to the panic that threatened to overwhelm me, intermingling with the pain in my head and in my heart.

I looked into his eyes, and I saw his soul. His beautiful, clean, gorgeous soul. And he loved me. No matter what I did, no matter how much I screwed up and I hurt him, it always came down to the fact that he loved me. He loved me.

And Gods... I closed my eyes, Xena's words swimming over me, into my mind, into my thoughts, into my dreams.

You love him... it's a fact... there's no room for negotiation... You love him... and you're damn lucky...

I swallowed, a mangled cry emerging from my throat as I took a breath and opened my eyes, the cries and sounds getting closer and closer. My eyes widened, and I looked back to Joxer, and I knew, there was only one thing I had to say, one thing that I had to let him know before anything else happened... before I lost... everything.

"Joxer," I whispered, a trail of tears suddenly flood my eyes and drifting down my cheeks. He stared at me, his own eyes wet with moisture. My heart was pounding, and I could only manage to squeak, "I ... I..." the sounds were coming closer. Oh Gods... "I... I think... Gods, Joxer, I think..." They were near the door now. I took a breath, and suddenly the words I wanted, the words I meant, came rushing forth. "I love you."

The response to that was silence. Joxer only stared at me, and there was a swallow, and the doors burst open, and suddenly he let my hand go. I looked to the men standing there, and my tears were drying as I stood, watching.

In the corner of my whirling mind, I suddenly came to an odd conclusion. Their faces weren't... right somehow.

And when then stepped away from the door, I knew the reason why, and my heart almost burst with relief.

"Xena."

My beautiful best friend held the leader in her arms, a poisoned arrow to his throat, in her eyes a glittered rage.

"Go on," she purred, motioning toward us. "Let them go." The men stared at each other, but when the leader let out a strangled order, they hurried to obey, the tone carrying all the information Xena needed.

I slid out, my knees wobbly, and my head aching, and my heart trembling, and I managed a look at Joxer, who looked remarkably passive.

Xena looked at me, not loosing her hold on the leader. "What happened to you?" she asked, motioning to my head.

"I'm still not sure," I said, rubbing at it. "Where were you?"

"Eve got sick," she said quickly, dragging the man outside, the two of us following her. "I think the worst is over but I couldn't travel."

I nodded, stopping her with a hand. "Xena, they took Argo."

Xena froze, her form shuddered, and I could see the veins popping out of her arms as she responded in a controlled tone. "I know." There was an anger in her voice, a frustration that made me almost pity the leader, still held in a death grip in her arms.

I whistled, hoping against hope my horse was still in one piece, and after a moment of waiting, I felt my heart sing with relief when the brown animal galloped from around the hut, stopping obediently.

Xena turned, using Amber for cover as she held the leader still, leading us out of the village that was at a stand still. There was a moment of silence, and just as my heart began to beat and I began to think we would actually get out of here, a whiz filled the air, right near Joxer.

I cried out, and without even thinking, my palm slid, catching the wood seconds before it reached his chest.

There was a moment of silence, of shock, I think on everyone's faces, my own included, as I stared at the wooden shaft.

My heart skipped a beat, and suddenly my face changed into a hardened rage, my glare glittering over every one of the frightened villages, and with a yell, I held the arrow over my head.

It worked, the power, the shock that I had given them because suddenly they were crying out and on their knees, frozen at my feat.

"Let's go," Xena breathed, dropping the leader, and running into the woods, with Amber's reigns, Joxer and I following closely behind.

~*~

We raced for who knows how long, Xena not allowing us to stop until our bodies were drenched with sweat and we were panting with exhaustion.

"I gotta take care of Evie," she said, pulling the pack off of her back and inspecting her daughter.

I didn't even think, my body jerked and my arms flew around Joxer's slender frame, pulling him closely, scarcely able to breathe I was so relieved to have him alive.

"Are you okay?" I whispered fiercely, my hands cradling his cheeks, my heart bursting with emotion as I looked into his eyes.

But something was wrong. His eyes looked... they looked wounded, and without another word, he pulled away.

I felt as if I had just been seared in two. Shock flitted my features, and I swallowed, trying to gain the courage to speak as I whispered, "what's wrong?"

And his gaze was... I don't know... it was horrible... it just... it hit something inside me, made me tremble and made me want to fall and break and fling my arms around him to try and stamp it out at the same time. But I could do neither, I could only stare and watch.

He took a breath, his eyes glittering with tears, and he leaned forward, whispering fiercely. "... after all that... after.... you THINK....-" and he bit the of his words of and turned way from me.

He turned his back to me, and I felt my lips parting, found my whole body trembling. Gods...what ... what... what happened?

My hand went to my mouth, and he didn't notice, as he took Eve from Xena and sucked in his breath.

Xena's startled eyes met mine and I didn't know what to do, or what to say.

Oh Gods... my eyes filled with tears and my knees felt so weak I could barely stand. My headache was now spreading very quickly to my chest and I couldn't breathe.

And so I gasped, my chest pounding, and my eyes moist and I had never felt so confused, so bewildered... so hurt.

And then Evie cried.

And with the tears and scream of my precious child I suddenly found a hand stealing into my pack, grabbing a rag and putting it on my wound. I went to Amber and pulled out the sais that had lain forgotten and then I turned to Xena.

"Let's got get Argo back."

She nodded, and then motioned to Joxer, and the three of us began to move, quickly through the forest.

I pushed down the hurt... the wounded anguish, and I repressed, as I was so good at doing.

There were other things that needed to be done, Evie to take care of and Argo to save and after all... it didn't really matter... it didn't matter.

It was Joxer.

And I was good at ignoring Joxer.

FIN

Disclaimer : Tarzan's originality was not harmed in the making of this story.