Teaser:A broken hearted Sydney goes to the Planet in search of Marina, and finds Shane instead.
Series: Nothing to Write Home About, Story XIII
Crossover: Alias/The L Word
Characters: Marina Ferrer, Shane McCutcheon, Sydney Bristow, Eric, Alice and Tina

--

Sydney Bristow was breathless, rasping in and out as she nearly collided with Marina's wooden door, skidding to a stop in front of it.

Immediately, she began to pound, almost in sync with her beating heart, in her haste completely ignoring the perfectly useful doorbell that lay directly to her right.

"Come on," she whispered, smacking at the door again.

It was with noticeable relief when she heard the locks shift, and the door gave way underneath her fingertips, to reveal her cousin, holding her phone to her ear, an immensely irritated expression on her face.

"Sydney?"

"You have to help me," she said, pushing her way inside, leaving Marina to close the door behind her. "I am freaking out here."

"Sydney-"

"No, I mean it, Marina. This was not supposed to happen! And you-" she pointed frantically. "You should have been there - because you would have stopped it! And you know what? This is Shane's fault too because she's a guy! She's a guy! With her manners and slouchy sprawls and husky voice! Normal women don't do that!"

Marina slowly blinked, processing Sydney's rant with an unnerving stare before she lifted the phone back up to her ear and said, "Shane? I'm going to have to call you back."

At the mention of Shane, Sydney's face went pale, and her hands clasped over her mouth with a loud smack. "Oh, God - is that her?! Did she hear?!"

Turning off the phone with a press of a button, Marina took in a tired breath, lingering on setting the phone back in it's cradle before she asked, "How much did you have to drink tonight?"

"Uh... I don't know..." Sydney paced, hands on her hips. "A bit."

"A bit?" Marina repeated, the slang sounding odd on her foreign tongue.

"I don't think that's the problem, here, Marina!" Sydney snapped. "You have to talk me through this! I'm FREAKING OUT-"

"Okay, okay, okay-" Coming forward, Marina managed to place soothing palms on her cousin's shoulders, rubbing gently, firmly. "Sit down."

Sydney closed her eyes, managing a heavy sigh as Marina led her to her couch, sinking down next to her.

"Now, QUIETLY," Marina enunciated. "Tell me what happened."

Sydney covered her mouth with her palm, pressing against it hard as she considered the events of the night.

She felt as if she had just been on that rollercoaster her father insisted she go on as a child, when she was still afraid of heights, shaky-legged, exhilarated, slightly broken and really ready to pee.

Though she presumed that was the fault of the alcohol, not Vaughn and Shane.

Marina's palm was running soft circles on the small of her back, and for a brief moment, Sydney felt her sanity return.

"I..." with an unsteady breath, she pushed it out. "I kissed Shane."

Marina didn't even blink. Her jaw ticked slightly as her mouth tightened, but to her credit, she only nodded. "Yes, I got that much from Shane. Why don't you tell me how it happened?"

Sydney slumped back, closing her eyes and like a child rested her forehead on her taller cousin's shoulder, letting Marina cradle her.

It was absurd - she was more than thirty and reverting to an overgrown baby, but for once, she thought she earned it.

"There was... drama with Vaughn. I went to the Planet to look for you - I needed to talk and... you weren't there."

"Yes, I know that," Marina said, a small smirk on her face.

"Marina? Shut up."

--

She wondered when she had become pathetic enough to start playing games.

Shane didn't really believe in games. Sure - the catch had always been fun, but there was more satisfaction in the simple honest act of fucking than there were in relationships. It was where she and Marina had always differed. Marina preferred the intellectual, the mind-play that came with finding out about the seduced, using that information to unravel them.

Shane, honestly, couldn't be bothered to put that much effort into it. It was time that could have been spent fucking, and to her, there was rarely anything better than the simple pleasure of sex. It reminded her that she was still fucking alive, and despite that fact that she knew people who's lives were a hell of a lot fucking worse, she had had her share of bad experiences - was pretty damned fortunate to live through them.

Still, she couldn't deny that by being here, she was sucking herself into a fucking game. Radar, a place that had been one of her favorite Tuesday night haunts, now seemed boring and tepid, teeming with women who no longer held any fascination for her. Alice bopped to some unseen beat in her head, alternating between complaining about Tonya the she-devil (or, as Shane referred to her, Dana's new girlfriend) to Tina, and brooding about the lack of selection that Radar offered.

Tina, in turn, couldn't stop talking about the poor orphaned inner city kids, and while Shane was truly glad that she had found something to take her mind off her miscarriage, it was an incredible downer, and reminded her a little too much of turning tricks in Santa Monica just to make ends meet.

Dana had turned into insipid mush thanks to her star-fucker girlfriend, and Bette, who usually could be counted on to bring some sense into everyone, rarely showed at Radar.

She was probably still holed up at the CAC, getting ready for her controversial art show that had pushed Shane into this whole fucking mess in the first place.

Not that Shane was bitter about that. Jail seriously sucked, but it wasn't Bette fault that a bunch of seriously right wing assholes decided to crash and get them all arrested.

Fucking police. Fucking jail. Fucking waiting until fucking five in the fucking morning for Cherie to show and not even getting a fucking phone call to ask if she was all right.

Yeah, a part of Shane told her she was being irrational. It wasn't as if Cherie was single. Shane was in a fucking affair with a fucking married woman and naturally there would be complications. She knew that going in.

But FUCK if that hadn't hurt like hell.

Kit gave her a little wave, and with a distracted smile, Shane waved back, motioning with her beer bottle before she took a sip and grimaced slightly at the bitter taste, putting it down behind her on the bar.

Being here was her single act of defiance. Telling Cherie, who called the next day like nothing was wrong and expected to commandeer her night, that she had plans with her friends, was her struggling fight for freedom.

Of course, it only made sense that here she was, and not one, but three girls were eying her and she had no remote interest in fucking any of them at all.

She was miserable, and she wanted to be with Cherie, who was crazy and rich and beautiful and careless and everything Shane wished she could be, and somehow could never get away with without falling completely on her ass.

"You know what guys?" she said, breaking into Alice's running commentary on the many flaws of Tonya, "I think I’m just gonna take off."

"Already?" Tina asked, concern deepening the specks in her eyes as she squeezed her forearm slightly. "It's only ten o'clock!"

"I'm just not feeling it, tonight," Shane said, shaking her head in dismissal.

"Or any night," Alice observed, eyebrows narrowing. "Lately."

Shane tossed her a short glare. "Don’t start, all right?"

"Fine," Alice huffed, waiting a beat before she gave her an agitated wave. "You know, you've been getting more and more grumpy lately."

"Love will do that to some people," Tina said, smile suddenly forced.

Shane didn't want to argue the point. With a roll of her eyes and a shrug, she turned, ready to say her good-byes when a woman standing awkwardly in the middle of a crowd of dancing lesbians caught her attention.

The stare caught Alice's attention, and craning her neck, her eyes widened. "That's Sydney, isn't it?"

"Let me see?" Tina arched her back, squinting to see through the crowd.

Shane's own focus was on the Marina's cousin, but for an entirely different reason than nosy curiosity. Dressed in jeans and an over-size sweatshirt, Sydney seemed lost, smoothing her hair back, mouth tight, searching in vain around the floor.

There was no smile - nothing but a look that seemed really fucking familiar.

"Shit," she managed. "Guys - I'm gonna go see what's up." Not waiting for them to answer, she weaved her way through the crowd, trying to keep her focus on Sydney, just in time to see her accosted by a rather butch looking girl who didn't seem to be taking no for an answer.

"No really," she heard Sydney say, mangled in the music, "I'm just looking for a friend-"

"One dance," said the girl, reaching for her hand.

"Syd!" Shane had a smile on, but her eyes were on the other girl, eyes narrowing slightly as she held out her own palm, clearly indicating for Sydney to take it. After a moment's hesitation, she did, squeezing Shane's fingers gratefully.

"Hey Shane," said the butch girl, and it occurred to Shane she should have probably figured out by now who the hell this was.

"Hey," she said, nodding shortly, pulling Sydney into her.

"Just... um... you know- didn't know that she was with you."

"She's not," Shane answered, "She's with Marina."

"Oh..."

Bad to worse. The fact that Sydney was currently in possession of two of the most reputed seducers in West Hollywood meant that the other girl was way out of her league. She didn't even bother to wait around after that. The way she ran actually put a smile on Shane's face, before she turned and discovered Sydney's complexion nearly pasty, eyes somehow more moist than before. What the...

"Thanks," she said breathlessly. "I just... I was hoping to find Marina..."

"Whoa, hey..." The dance floor was getting seriously crowded, and Shane had no choice but to lead Sydney out of it, ignoring Alice and Tina's questioning stares and weaving to the other side of the bar, trying to find a place with actual room to breathe. "What's going on?"

"Is Marina here?" Sydney said again, arms crossed in a tight hold across her chest. "I just... I tried calling but she's not picking up her cell-"

"No," Shane interrupted, glancing surreptitiously around them. "No, Marina's not here. She had a date or something twisted - I don't..." Her words faltered when Syd's face nearly crumpled, and Shane blinked. "Look, just hang out with me, okay? Let me see if I can get her-"

"No, no- it's fine-"

"Syd, come on. You look like you could use a drink, okay?" Shane squeezed her bicep, curling an arm around her protectively as she motioned to the bartender. "Just come sit with Tina and Alice and me, okay? Let me try to get Marina on the phone-"

"Shane, really-"

"Come on." Marina's cousin opened her mouth to argue again, but seemed to have lost strength mid-sentence, because she finally just closed her eyes, sighed, and nodded, head coming down to avoid a scrutinizing stare.

Shit.

With a shaky breath in, Shane made sure the bartender knew she was looking for her, and then pushed Sydney gently in Alice and Tina's direction, palm on the small of her back.

"Hey guys," she said, when Alice and Tina only stared. "Remember Syd?"

"Yeah, sure, hey Syd," Tina said, as Alice got up and gave her a warmer, gentler kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, babe," she said, quickly pulling a chair for her. "Have a seat."

"Hey," Sydney replied, fingers tangled together on the table, like a school girl in class.

"I'm gonna get her a drink," Shane said, motioning back to the bar. Quickly she moved, digging in her jeans for her cellphone as she looked back anxiously at Sydney, who looked like a frazzled thread ready to unravel.

At the bar, she pressed the phone to her ear, covering the other one in an effort to hear as the phone dialed, then rang repeatedly three times, before Marina's answering machine picked up and the tacit, cold voice of Francesca told her frankly that no one was home.

"Fuck," she whispered, waiting until Marina's ex finished her greeting before hurriedly beginning. "Marina, it's Shane. Sydney's here and looking for you, but she looks..." she glanced back, watched as Sydney kept her eyes glued on the table. "I don’t know - I'm gonna hang with her here for a while. I know Radar's not her thing but-" she took in another unsteady breath, biting her lip before continuing, "just call me, okay? Meet up with us if you can."

It was the best she could do. At the moment, she didn't know what the fuck Marina was up to. She hadn't had a chance to get Marina alone, and frankly, didn't know if she wanted to. Whatever the fuck Marina was doing with Robin when the girl was already dating Jenny seriously threw Shane, and she was not in the mood to get introduced to the twisted Derevko family courtship rituals.

But Marina was a friend, and so was Syd, and Shane liked to think she knew Marina well enough to know she'd be there for Sydney and whatever the fuck had happened that had her heart lying in pieces around her.

Five minutes later, she was putting two bottles in front of Sydney, settling down next to her, a protective arm thrown around the back of Sydney's chair. Alice looked plainly puzzled, but thankfully, Tina seemed to reign Alice's curious tendencies in slightly. The moment Alice began to veer from polite small talk to probing questions, Tina smiled, pinched Alice, and with a meaningful look at Shane said, "Do you mind coming with me to the bathroom? I think I might need a tampon."

"Uh... sure?" Alice said, eyebrow quirking as she pushed out of her chair. "I don't mind giving moral support..."

"Just come on," Tina said, grabbing her forearm and nearly yanking her out of the chair.

Sydney managed a smile, and it was more than Shane had seen that night, so she took another sip of her beer and glanced over, studying her intently.

"What's up?" she said frankly, reaching over to gently trace what looked suspiciously like a dried tear from Sydney's cheek.

Sydney seemed surprised at the touch, flinching away slightly, a guarded looking coming over her. "Nothing, I just..."

"Syd, look..." Licking her lips slightly, Shane managed an uncomfortable shrug, coming closer in an attempt to be heard over the din of laughing girls and pulsing music. "I know I’m not Marina, but... you know... I am a friend."

"NO, Shane, it's..." Sydney's hair smelled good, and it brushed against Shane's mouth as the other woman lowered her head slightly, before arching back and saying in her ear, "I just - it's just... stupid."

She leaned back, but Shane held her ground, studying her. "Nothing that could make you look that devastated could be stupid," she replied.

Sydney's look was intense, as she was fond of doing, before she let out a sigh and once again glanced at the table. In the pounding pulse of the beat, Shane barely heard, "Well, I feel so damned stupid."

Shane pursed her lips. "Syd-"

"I actually thought he would leave her," she said, louder, shaking her head.

Oh.

Shane swallowed, glancing around the Planet's crowded area before squeezing Sydney's shoulder, keeping her embrace around the other women. "We talking about Vaughn?"

"Who else?" she snapped, fingers suddenly burying into her hair. "I mean, was I an idiot?" she snapped, turning to stare pleadingly. "I mean, was I just an absolute idiot for thinking that maybe, just MAYBE, he would love me enough to choose me?"

Shane's chest felt curiously closed, as if a weight rested on top of her, making it ache and breathing difficult. "No," she managed. "No way."

"I just..." A small, glistening tear slid down Sydney's cheek, and Shane watched, as if trailed down the flawless skin, gathered at the corner of her mouth. "God, I just - I believed him. I really believed him..."

Fuck. Fuck, Vaughn.

Shane kept her mouth shut, but her heart tightened as she remembered Vaughn on their bar-hop. Broken, hopelessly, desperately in love.

She had thought him an all-right guy, worthy of Sydney if he could just get his head out of his ass and realize what the fuck he was losing, but now...

She finally agreed with Marina's assessment of him; nice but kind of a weenie.

"He loves you," she said frankly. At least Sydney had that. It was more than Shane had. "He loves you, okay? He's just... confused."

Sydney snorted slightly, before another tear dropped, and she covered her eyes, wiping at them quickly.

"Fuck," Shane said, keeping her arm closer around her, "Fuck him, okay? Just forget about him tonight. Marina's gonna get here, and when she does, we'll go into the back and get piss ass drunk and bash the hell out of him - but for now? Just relax."

Shane's easy solution made Sydney smile, amusement curling the corner of her lips a ghost of a smile that made Shane smile back.

"You'd be a good agent, you know that?" she said suddenly. "You have a..." she snapped her fingers slightly, nodding once, "Way about you."

"I've got a way," Shane repeated, grinning slightly.

"You have a way," Sydney repeated. "People are drawn to you. They trust you."

It was more than she expected to hear, and her cheeks colored in defense, forcing Shane to glance away, trying to force away the idiotic grin the compliment immediately gave her.

"Let me get you another beer," she said, pushing out of the chair.

--

There were six empty beer bottles and three shot glasses piled on the table, when Alice finally broke the story about Robin, Marina, and Jenny.

"You're kidding," Sydney breathed, eyes widening as she glanced at Shane, then back to Alice.

"So not," Alice confirmed, nodding.

Sydney looked disturbed, and Shane probably would have said something to combat the gossip, but at the moment, she felt absurdly mellow, and her reflexes seemed a little slower than normal. It didn't even occur to her to stop Alice's gossipy motor-mouth until she was done with the story, and by then? Kinda too late.

"So - she's dating the girl who's dating the girl who she used to sleep with?" Sydney said, motioning with her hands. "The little pretty one?"

"The skinny one," Shane confirmed, lazily adjusting her arm against Sydney's shoulder, letting the girl sink into the warmth of her side. "That was some serious drama."

"And coming from her?" Alice said, quirking her finger to Shane. "Saying something."

"Fuck you," she answered, fighting the smile.

"Wait- I just... I'm trying to get Marina's deal here," Sydney rubbed at her forehead. "Why, exactly? Is she doing this?"

"Fuck if I know," Shane said. "It's... twisted."

Tina shrugged, sipping on her cocktail. Still slightly sober, she said diplomatically. "Maybe she really likes Robin."

That was met with groans, Alice throwing a crumpled up napkin that landed in Tina's hair.

"Please," she added.

"That's just..." Sydney blinked, musing to herself. "Twisted."

"It's twisted," Shane repeated.

"All sorts of twisted," Sydney added. "What is Marina thinking?"

"Honey, we gave up trying to figure that out the FIRST time I ran in on her and Jenny," Alice said. "She should have just stuck with you."

Sydney snorted. "Trust me, we're better off as friends."

"Yeah, seriously," Shane agreed, sharing a secret smile with Sydney that she wasn't sure the others missed.

The table died down somewhat, and Tina suddenly pushed from the table, shrugging. "Guys? I think I'm gonna, you know - head out."

"Already?" Alice asked.

"Well, Bette should be home soon, and I think we should spend some time together. We've been... crossing signals but never actually connecting, lately." With a nod, she smiled to Sydney. "It was great seeing you again, Sydney."

"Oh, yeah! You too," Sydney said, nodding quickly, waving.

Tina grinned, and then glanced at Shane. "Shane? Mind walking me out?'

Alice quirked an eyebrow, but when Tina narrowed her eyes, Shane immediately got to her feet. "Sure, yeah - Syd? Be right back."

"Sure."

Tina, at least, had the sense to wait until they were outside the Planet before starting, "Okay, what's going on?"

Shane blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You realize that that is Marina's ex, right? I mean, you saw the way she reacted when Jenny came with us to Dinah Shore, do you really think it's a good idea to put the moves on one she's still close to?"

"Huh? Woah- no way- Tina!" Her head suddenly swimming, Shane ran both palms into her hair, stepping back slightly. "That's not what I'm doing!"

"What are you doing, Shane?"

"Nothing!" Shane sighed, closing her eyes and composing herself. "She's was upset allright? Some drama with her ex-boyfriend. I'm just being a friend!"

"You're all over each other."

"We are so not."

Tina pursed her lips, glancing away at her car before looking back. "Look, Shane. It's none of my business, okay? Frankly, if I had to choose between you and Marina, as sweet as she is, I'd go with you. But we saw what happened with Jenny, and right now, it's just not a good idea to get close to - Marina plays hardball, okay?"

Shane sighed, exasperation forcing her to look the other way. "Marina trusts me with her, all right? I know the shit with Jenny went bad. And I'll talk to Marina about Robin, but it's different with Sydney. She and Marina... it's just different."

Tina sighed, hands on her hips as she glanced at the pavement, then at Shane. "Just be careful," she said. "I know it's no use talking to you about Cherie-"

"Fuck," Shane spat.

"No, Look, Shane. I love you. I just don't want to see you get hurt. You have a way with people," Tina smiled. "They trust you. They fall in love with you. Just make sure you set your boundaries or you might get caught up in something that you don't want to be in."

Shane looked at her, long and hard, before she answered, "I can handle myself."

"I know you can," Tina said, tone gentle and loving. "Now come here." Shane embraced her, felt Tina press a soft kiss on her cheek before stepping back. "I love you."

"Yeah," Shane said, a hard swallow forcing out the words, "Love you too."

--

"I think I’m a little drunk," Sydney whispered, like it a well-guarded secret.

Shane couldn't help her small smile, nodding as she pushed some bangs out of Sydney's face. "When did you get these?"

"What?"

"These," she repeated, smoothing at them with her fingernail. "The bangs. They look good."

"Really?" Sydney considered, running fingers through them. "I thought they were a little weird at first."

"Nah," Shane shrugged. "They look good."

Sydney nodded, glancing down at the table. "Thanks."

They fell silent, Sydney taking another small sip of her beer as her eyes lingered over the women dancing slowly, then to Alice, who was standing on the other side, talking to Dana and her new girlfriend.

"Have Dana and Alice ever been like... you know... a thing?"

"A thing?" Shane repeated, smile broadening, shaking her head as her shoulders shook slightly in mirth. "No, not really."

"Oh..."

"Alice is bisexual," Shane elaborated. "And Dana's not quite comfortable enough being a dyke yet to not feel threatened by that."

"Oh," Sydney said again. "It's just..."

"What?"

"Maybe I’m nuts, but it seemed like Alice was kind of... jealous."

"Of Tonya?" Shane said, eyes widening in surprise. Sydney shrugged. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I mean, I'm sure she is - but not like, romantically. We're all pretty tight, and you know... Tonya's a lot to take."

Sydney smiled, a bright grin that was dazzling on her pretty face. "Yeah, I could see that."

Shane laughed, shaking her head and nodding, surprisingly at the same time. "Yeah, well, at least Dana's got someone that wants to be with her all the time, you know?" Her smile faded slightly, sudden moodswing aided by the alcohol as she suddenly remembered why she was fucking here in the first place.

Sydney noticed, eyes narrowing slightly as she glanced at Shane. She went quiet for a minute, before she cleared her throat and began in a tentative tone, "So... are you still seeing that girl?"

Shane shrugged, flashing a short, tense smile. "I guess. She's ... she's married."

Sydney blinked. "Oh."

"Yeah." Distracted, Shane busied herself with crumbling a toothpick on their table, dropping the splinters into one of the empty glass bottles.

Sydney was still looking, with that intense stare she was so good at giving, and for once, Shane couldn't meet it. "Damned if you do and damned if you don't, right?" she asked.

Sydney waited a beat, before a hollow laugh came forth and she answered, "Yeah."

The music was mellow, the bar slowing down with some nice beats and suddenly Shane felt angry.

She got to her feet, holding out her hand and grinning to Sydney. "Come on."

Sydney stared at her palm as if it was poisoned. "What?"

"Fuck Vaughn and fuck Cherie. Tonight's not about them. Let's just have some fun, okay?"

Sydney considered, glancing from her palm to her face before she shrugged, the liquor in her probably doing some of her thinking for her when she slapped her hand in Shane's. "Sure. Why not."

Shane grinned, leading her to the dance floor, glancing around them to find a suitable space and found Sydney standing uncertainly behind her.

"What?" she asked.

"I've never danced with a girl before," Sydney said, twitching slightly.

Shane studied her, before a slow grin came over her lips and she slid her hand possessively around Sydney's waist. "It's cool," she answered. "I always lead."

Sydney looked almost scared. It was amusing, as she stepped uncertainly, like a girl at her first high school dance, glancing down at their chests and then back up at Shane, while she swayed them gently to the beat.

"See?" she said, laughing slightly. "Not that different than dancing with a guy."

Sydney chuckled nervously, a shrill tone in her voice. "Trust me, it's a LOT different."

"Oh really? How so?"

"Well, for one thing? You've got boobs."

Shane snorted, shaking her head and pulling her friend closer.

"Barely."

--

Outside, the volume of the music seemed distant and faraway, and Sydney, sitting on the curb, wrapped in her over-sized parka, now seemed mellow, somber.

"I'm sure she's fine," Shane said, twirling her beer bottle in her hands, feeling the chill of the night in her bones. Shivering slightly, she edged closer to Sydney, until the warmth of her cloth-covered arm brushed against her own. "She probably had something to do."

"Weird, isn't it?" Sydney said, eyes on the pavement. "Few months ago I didn't even know I had a cousin, and now - I don't know what I'd do if she wasn't here."

Shane nodded, too lost in thought to really answer.

"Shane?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you," Sydney said quietly. "For being here with me tonight."

Shane managed a tight smile, affection allowing her to smooth a hand up Sydney's spine, patting her. "It's cool, Sydney. Believe it or not, I needed this too."

"Misery loves company."

"Yeah."

"Shit." Sydney's voice broke, and it forced Shane to look at her, as the woman crumpled beside her, eyes suddenly flooding with tears, head buried in her palms.

"Aw, fuck, Syd-" Without a word, Shane pulled her into her side, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her closer.

"I just... what's wrong with me?" Sydney battled her tears, trying to keep her voice steady. "He's fucking married, and I can't - I have no right to care, and I do. I can't stop loving him. No matter how hard I try I just can't stop- and why was he able to move on? Why was he able to stop loving me?"

"Oh, fuck," Shane closed her eyes, took in a haggard breath as Sydney clung to her, palms wrapped tightly around her torso, face buried in her neck. "Listen to me, okay?" Shane rubbed almost violently, taking Sydney by the arms and forcing her to stare into her face. "You're fucking amazing. You're beautiful and strong, and you cry a helluva lot, but for once in my life, Syd - I don't mind." Shane managed a smile, cradling her friend's face between her palms. "You're so damned beautiful you've struck me dumb damn near twice, and it's not just cause of your face or your body, but your damned huge heart, Syd. No one would be able to stop loving you. No one."

It came from the bottom of her heart, she meant every word, but what Sydney did next, completely floored her.

Sydney stared at her, with her luminous dark eyes, shining in the moonlight, and suddenly her lips were on hers, catching her mouth in a drunken, hungry kiss.

It was instinctive, to pull Sydney closer, sluggish drunken thoughts keeping rationality away as she tilted her head, opened her mouth and let Sydney in further, tangling tongues and moaning slightly when she felt the other woman groan into the kiss.

And then reality caught up.

"Fuck!" she managed, couldn't stop another one before she ducked back, nearly hitting her head on the pavement, "Sydney, no!'

Sydney blinked, frozen in time, head craned forward, legs tangled with Shane, and suddenly she seemed to suddenly understand. "Oh, fuck - I'm- Shane-"

"No, fuck - you're drunk. And I'm drunk, and we're-"

"Oh, shit," Sydney said, trying to extricate herself and glancing back, torn between Shane's eyes and Shane's mouth. "Shane, I'm sorry-"

"It's cool..." Shane blurted, wrapping arms around her legs, pasting on a weak smile. "It's cool, Sydney - it's..."

"It's not COOL, Shane," Sydney managed, rubbing fingers frantically over her hair in an attempt to calm herself down.

"Look, it's understandable," Shane said, reaching for Sydney's arm and suddenly thinking better of it. "We're both in love with other people, and we're both just a little... you know."

"God!" Sydney shuddered. Glancing back, she managed, "That was a really good kiss."

That stopped her train of thought entirely. "Shit... yeah," she admitted.

"Oh, God..." Sydney looked ready to fall into a hole and disappear. "We're drunk, right? That's the reason-"

"Yeah," Shane admitted, attempting to glare at her bottle, and giving up. "Yeah, we're pretty damned drunk."

"And I'm pretty damned pissed! Though in England it would mean the same thing," she added, trailing off. "But I'm drunk and pissed and that was a really good kiss!"

"Thank you," Shane murmured, taking a long swig of her bottle.

"No! I mean it! I'm so drunk and pissed that I don't care! And I realize that I will probably freak out when this is over, but- Shane?"

"Yeah," she said.

"I'm sorry - I'm going to do it again."

And she did. Frozen, Shane watched as Sydney leaned forward, pressed her lips against hers, until her eyelashes brushed against her cheeks and her breath mingled with hers. It sent a shudder through Shane, and her mind, despite being thoroughly inebriated, told her that this was not a good idea - for numerous reasons: Marina, Cherie, Vaughn, the fact that sober Sydney was a straight Sydney...

And then Sydney slipped her tongue into her mouth, and everything just went mushy.

She lost herself in that kiss, crushed Sydney against her, a tight body that rippled with unseen power, palmed Sydney's hair, feeling the soft silk of it against her fingertips, tasted the bitterness of Sydney's beers in her warm, willing mouth.

It really was a damned good kiss.

Until she noticed they had a spectator, when the world shifted slightly, and suddenly she tore her mouth away and managed a wide, breathless, "Weiss."

"What?" Sydney breathed, and she turned to, to find a dumbstruck young man who looked as if he had seen a ghost. "Weiss?"

"Uh..." he blinked, before he suddenly backpedaled, managing to keep his composure to nod hello before he completely forgot what had come here to say, and just walked away.

"Oh, CRAP," Sydney stammered, pushing away from Shane so fast she hurt her ribs in the process. "ERIC!"

Shane blinked, left on the pavement, watching in hazy amazement as Sydney gave her one last stare, managing to be polite in her inebriated state.

"I better go," she managed, nodding like a duck. "So... "

"Yeah," Shane said, waving her off. "We'll uh..."

She couldn't even finish that. In the end, she just shrugged, and Sydney shot off like a rocket, after her friend.

--

"Okay," Marina said, as if she had just heard a commentary on the last Dodgers game. Pressing a finger to her mouth, she mused for a second, before she brought it down. "What did Weiss say?"

"I don't know! I was drunk!" Sydney said, putting down her glass of water with a clang. "I was drunk! He was sober! He was way faster."

"You took a cab here, I hope," Marina said methodically.

FIN