Teaser:This is true love - you think this happens every day? Marina leaves West Hollywood, but not without one more chaotic day involving a toolshed, a job offer for a friend, and naked parents.

Genre: LWord/Alias .
Series: Nothing to Write Home About, Story XXIX
Crossover: Alias/The L Word
Characters: Think clowns in a circus car.

--

"I found my parents naked in bed together. Having sex."

The statement, point blank and without introduction, was enough to startle Marina into an undignified gulp, the exotic European sputtering into her coffee, coughing horribly, forcing her to put the jittering cup down, before the black liquid scalded her hands.

"I'm sorry?"

Sydney Bristow's face was sour, and she played with the sugar packets almost neurotically, looking out the window next to their booth at Mel's Diner, their habitual breakfast meeting place.

Hollywood was still asleep, with exception to the few early morning risers who chatted at the various booths, and one half asleep group who appeared to still be drunk.

"I couldn't sleep," she finally confessed, rubbing into her hair and pulling the coffee cup to her mouth, taking a hesitant sip. "After what happened with Shane and Vaughn..." Marina's eyes narrowed, and Sydney shuddered, holding a hand up before her cousin could even start in again on her tirade, "DON'T. You already let me have it – I don't need another round of 'I told you so'."

"Sydney-"

"I'm not the only one who makes mistakes." It was a rather paltry defense. Marina was never one to pass judgement, considering the wasteland that was her own lovelife, but still, Sydney couldn't fight the twinge of pain that slashed into her heart every half minute. She was with Vaughn, and with that came the warm contentment, her beautiful security that came from waking up in the arms of the most beautiful man alive.

But it was hard to suddenly forget Shane – it was absolutely impossible, actually...

Sydney had made her choice, but her sentiment was having a harder time accepting that.

Marina eyed her suspiciously, but the morning of their last breakfast had found her in an almost resigned, bitter mood, and Sydney reasoned she probably didn't have the energy to blame Sydney for the ruined would-be affair with Shane.

She merely let it go, stirring her coffee deliberately, before she looked up and said, "Go on."

Sydney sighed, shaking her head. "I just... I guess I can't turn it off that fast. I figured – all that's happened, there has to be a reason for it, right? Even if Shane and I aren't ever going to..." she paused, tried to wrap her mind around the word, the very possibility, "Be together... there's still a reason she's here, right?"

Marina was quiet, spoon hovering over her coffee for a beat, before she put it down deliberately and crossed her hands on the small table, studying Sydney. "You're going to offer her the job."

"I know you have your problems with it-"

"I do," Marina clipped. "It's dangerous, and with you it can only be more dangerous." She sighed, glancing away, before she looked back and said, "But Shane is jobless, and it is her own choice. I have never been the best example of the judgment call. Perhaps Shane needs to be a part of something bigger. Something to live for. The CIA is better than nothing."

"Thanks," Sydney drawled, tossing her straw wrapper at Marina, watching it bounce of her cheek. "I appreciate your support."

"What about Shane's indiscretions?" Marina flicked the wrapper back at her, eyes hooded, making sure Sydney knew what she implicated. "There... could be complications."

"The drugs." Sydney sighed, nodding. "She told me about the drugs." A small flash in Marina's eyes gave her a small bit of smug satisfaction. Sydney knew that Shane's confidence had surprised her cousin, and she felt oddly justified in her affections. "There's really only one person who could push that through."

"You father."

"My father." Sydney's smile quickly went sour. "So I went to see him first thing this morning."

--

She knew something was dreadfully wrong the minute she entered her father's apartment.

Grunts. Moans - sounds she never associated with her father, or his apartment. In the chaos that littered their lives, Sydney had come to take nothing for granted. Immediately, her gun was pulled out, cocked, and she moved carefully, quickly, through her father's house, bypassing her father's security system with a few taps of her fingers, sliding along the wall until she reached her father's bedroom.

She waited, heart pounding, breathless, until she heard her father's harsh moan with a speedbump along her heart.

Sydney Bristow didn't think. With a yell, she smashed her foot against the wooden door, bringing it down with a crash, entering just in time to aim her gun right at her father's naked ass.

There was a moment, a very embarrassing moment, where what Sydney was looking at didn't quite process. As a result, she found herself staring, freeze-framing the moment of her parents, nakedly entwined, passionately humping their lives out.

--

"Stop it."

Sydney's grumpy command was heartily ignored, as her cousin held her ribs, eyes shut tight, laughing so loudly that the people in the next booth were now casting them both suspicious glances.

"Ay, Dios!" Marina wheezed, wiping at the tears on her eyes, trying desperately to recover once she noticed the increasingly vicious frown on Sydney's face. "I'm sorry, but that-"

"IS NOT FUNNY!" she hissed. Grabbing a menu, she plonked it on the side of the counter, hiding her expression from their audience as Marina's shoulders shook. "I'm scarred for life, here! I saw my father's naked ass!"

That, unfortunately, was enough to set Marina off again, and Sydney just gave up, throwing the menu on the countertop and slumping back into the seat.

"I have no idea what's more amusing," her cousin managed. "Picturing them or picturing you finding them."

"Hey! I think considering the circumstances - I handled it pretty well!"

--

"Oh, GOD! EWW!" Hand slapped over her eyes, Sydney fought her own panic, other hand flailing for some measure of support as she backpeddled, slamming into the wall, barely missing the door.

"Sydney!"

Her mother's concerned voice only seemed to unravel her more, as Sydney battled the vivid image of her father and her mother, naked and all sweaty. She scrambled to her feet, blindly finding the doorway, moving quickly behind it.

"Oh, GOD!"

Unfortunately, her rather grand exit was ruined by the rather inappropriately placed coffee table, which rammed into the back of Sydney's knees, toppling her over backwards, until she landed with an oomph, sprawled on the other side.

"Ow."

"SYDNEY!"

And suddenly her worst nightmare and greatest fantasy melded into one, as suddenly both parents were bending over her, staring at her in concern, and Sydney, with a monstrous headache now ringing from her left temple, was able to see everything she had missed before.

"Sydney, are you okay?"

"NO!" she screeched, palms slamming over her eyes once again. "GOD! Put some clothes on!"

--

"Oh my goodness. Oh, Sydney!"

Marina was doing everything but convulsing, and Sydney was still not amused. Cheeks burning red with embarrassment, she offered a meek smile to the waiter, who stared at Marina as if she had grown a second head.

"No more coffee, please," Sydney said feebly, pointing miserably to her cousin. "I think she's had enough."

"You got it, sweetpea." Clucking her tongue, the waiter walked away, casting another dubious glance to recovering Marina.

"Done?" Sydney asked dryly.

Wiping tears from her cheeks, Marina left out a meek mew, shaking her head, palms over her face. "I’m sorry..." she tried. "I just... I really needed that laugh."

"Happy to be of service," Sydney said dryly. "My humiliation is always at the ready for your own personal amusement."

"Okay," Marina breathed, straightening her expression, and almost succeeding, despite the twinge that came from her mouth every once in a while. "I'm okay. But for my sake, let's skip the comedy and actually go to the part where you ask your father about Shane. Because as it is, I think I have to change my underwear."

"Um... eww?"

--

Her father, now more appropriately dressed in a robe, pressed his fist against his mouth, eyes narrowing at Sydney as she swallowed, taking the cup of hot tea her mother pressed into her hands.

Sydney was doing her best to think rationally. Finding your parents having sex was traumatic for any child, but considering that just the night before, her parents had been close to nearly killing each other, literally, it was quite the mind job.

Still, Sydney should have learned not to be surprised by it now. While she wasn't aware of the circumstances that led to her parent's coupling, now that she could actually stare at her clothed parents and only slightly wince, she found herself oddly grateful.

Happy and fucking was always better than hateful and killing.

Still, she was here for a reason, and she made it clear.

"Do you have any idea what you're asking, Sydney?" her father asked finally, settling back into his chair, eyeing his daughter dubiously.

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't think she would be perfect for it," Sydney responded. "I don't trust just anyone, Dad."

He remained quiet, the requesting spinning through his brain. "I like Shane, Sydney," he said heavily. "I do. I think she's an amazing girl. But she's not trained. She's undisciplined-"

"And she held her own against six Covenant operatives. She proved she's capable under pressure."

"You're asking me to take a lot on faith," he interrupted. "Shane may be loyal, but I did my own background check. She isn't exactly a saint."

"And that has nothing to do with being a good agent, Jack." Irina had remained quiet until now, and Sydney shot her mother a grateful look. She looked beautiful, dressed in her husband's oversized robe, hair spilling over the terry cloth in mussed, sexy waves. Her expression was somber, almost brooding, as she crossed her arms, balancing her weight on the edge of Sydney's chair. "You know that as well as I do. What matters is loyalty, and who gets to her first."

Sydney hitched her breath, nearly rolled her eyes as her father's eyes narrowed, predictably defensive now that her traitor mother had spoken. "Is that a threat?"

"It's simply an observation," she said coolly. "Everything Sydney said is true. There is always a need for better agents."

"So you would snap her up yourself."

"I have half a mind to. She proved herself in Italy."

Sydney could have stopped this, but she kept quiet, hiding her smirk behind her cup of tea, turning away. It was an experience she never thought she'd have again. Her parents, bickering in front of her, not about a prom curfew or about dating the wrong boy (or girl in this case), but still, it was her mother backing her up, using an age old parental technique: jealousy.

"Irina, this isn't going to work. I'm not going to agree to take Shane just out of fear of losing her to you."

"Do what you like," she answered, nonplussed. "It hasn't stopped you before."

"Do you really think this is the time to be throwing stones?"

"As I mentioned, it hasn't stopped you before."

Okay, now it was getting annoying. "Guys." Sydney's tone was a warning one, as she arched an eyebrow, pushing off her chair to put her cup on the coffee table. "I don’t exactly have a lot of time for this."

Her father sounded tired. "Sydney-"

"Elena trusted her to be a part of her crew," Irina interrupted, "And for that alone I would offer her a position. That would be all the proof I would need."

It was surprising, that her mother would mention her dead aunt. Sydney had taken notice, that Irina had merely blocked that away from herself, and it said something, that she trusted her, trusted her father enough, to bleed a little.

It affected Jack, and Sydney felt her heart tremor slightly when he sighed, rubbed his fingers along his temple, and finally looked at her. "I'll have to talk to Shane myself before I make a decision," he said heavily.

Sydney kept her mouth from twitching into a relieved smile, only nodded solemnly. "Just do it soon."

--

"I will admit, the idea has merit." Marina twirled her straw, watching the ice cubes tinkle around her glass of water.

Sydney fell silent, watching, as Marina managed a small smirk, sighing as she leaned back against the plastic poof of the chair, fiddling with the small jukebox that never played what they selected, humming along absently with 'Diana', playing on the distorted speakers.

"I'm going to miss this," she said finally, blinking back at her sudden emotion, looking almost ashamed when Marina, startled, stared at her, taking her in.

Marina's expression softened into a smile, and Sydney felt the warm pressure of a palm against hers as she squeezed. "I will too. But more than anything, I have faith that this isn't good-bye for you and I, Sydney. We will run into each other again." Her grin widened. "That is one perk about our lifestyle."

It was hardly a consolation, but one she was willing to take. As loathe as she was to admit it, Marina was right.

She just prayed, they didn't end up pointing the wrong end of a gun at each other when it happened.

"I have one more favor," Marina said suddenly, purposely distracted, digging into her purse for the cash needed to pay for their breakfast. "I'm going to see Jenny before I go... I would be grateful if you went with me."

Sydney blinked, glancing away. "Oh, Marina-"

"I'm not sure I'll have the strength to turn Jenny away if she decides to follow, Sydney."

She said it so simply, and for that, Sydney almost admired her. But her cousin's eyes were a window into a tortured soul, and she closed her own against them, suddenly unsure.

"Marina, of course..."

The tinny ring of Marina's cellphone saved them both, and Sydney glanced up, watching as Marina flipped it open, placing it against her ear.

"Allo?" She watched, eyes narrowing in observation as Marina blinked, pursed her lips, tried to interrupt but was cut off, before she sighed and nodded as if whoever it was on the other line could see her. "I'll be right there."

"Marina?" Sydney leaned forward. "What's happening?"

Marina's expression was a passive glare, as she closed her eyes, placed the phone down, and took a moment to just breathe.

"It's Jenny," she said finally. "She's locked herself in her toolshed."

--

There was a small window of time when a girl could actually get dressed and get away from a one-night stand without looking like a COMPLETE asshole.

Leave too early, and you were a jerk. Stay too late, and you were even more of a jerk, because the girl inevitably expected more sex and breakfast - preferably in bed and at the same time.

Shane was out of practice, and as a result, had missed her window by a full two hours.

"Do you want some toast?"

Shane blinked, shoving her bangs out of her face with her good hand, trying to focus on the girl with the tinted hair and the nose ring, who rubbed incessantly at her arm like she was in some sort of petting zoo.

"Sure," she said brusquely, managing a quick, uncomfortable smile, that the girl - SHIT, she forgot her name- Jessa-Jera-Jezabel? Whatever - failed to notice, as she pressed a kiss to Shane's cheek and hobbled off the bed, bouncing it, making Shane's stomach turn over.

She watched, eyes narrowed, body tensed, watching as the girl padded naked out of her bedroom.

It was a second opportunity, and Shane was not one to waste it. Pushing off the bed so fast she winced at the impact of it on her wrist, Shane fell to her knees, throwing up the bedspread in a desperate search for her pants.

She didn't find those, but she did manage to find one boot, and she tossed it to the other side of the room, right next to the door, ready for her escape.

"Come on you bitch," she murmured, shimmying as far as she could to peer further into the darkness underneath the bed. "Where the fuck are you?!"

The doorbell rang, like some omen, and she froze, staring nervously at the door for a beat, before she heard the pad of barefeet, heading away from the room.

"YES!" she found them, wedged between the mattress and the boxspring, and for a second, she blinked, trying hard to remember how the hell that had happened. There was the humping by the door, then the push on the bed, and then she- "Oh. I see."

A piercing shriek startled her into dropping them, as her head jerked to the door, where her one night stand - Jess-Jerr-Jez-whoever - started screeching in what had to be dog whistle frequencies.

"What the fu-"

And that was when the door burst open, and Jack Bristow walked in.

"FUCK!" She dove, tumbling over the other side of the bed, landing in a heap, jerking at the bedspread. "MR. BRISTOW!"

Mr. Bristow was ignoring her hysterical sex-partner, instead eyeing her with what had to be at least a bit of startled befuddlement, though you could never tell with the way he just looked at her, peering at him over the top of the other side of the bed.

"Shane," he said crisply. "There you are."

She swallowed, shifting from whats-her-name to Jack. "Uh... hi..." she managed, waving with her bandaged hand. "I um... wasn't expecting... company... specially since this isn't my... house..."

"We're very good at what we do," he said simply.

"Right." She blinked, shifting the bedspread, before she shook herself and coughed. "Oh, right! Sorry, Jack Bristow this is..." Shit.

At the moment, her one-night stand was covering herself with a strategically placed tray, but it was forgotten when she realized Shane had absolutely no idea what her name was.

"SHANE!"

"Uh... Jezebel?!"

"ISABEL!"

"Isabel! Right!" Shane bobbed her head, swallowing nervously. "I was close!"

"Fuck you!"

She ducked, the pillow winging her on the crown of her head. "Mr. Bristow? As you can see, it's kind of a bad time..."

"Isabel, you're going to have to excuse Shane. Shane? Get dressed. We're leaving."

--

"Okay, you know what?" Sydney shook her head, unlocking her seatbelt and reaching for the lock on the door. "Your girlfriend is a freak."

"And your boyfriend is a weenie," Marina snapped, already out. "So don't start."

Sydney's jaw dropped in surprise, both at the word and at hearing her cousin use it. "Vaughn is not a weenie!" she snapped. "And who said that?"

"Your father."

Sydney huffed, rolling her eyes when she suddenly stumbled into Marina, her cousin now on the cusp of Jenny's backyard, both women now in full view of the ever famed toolshed.

"Oh my God."

There was a small crowd, a guy Sydney dimly remembered as someone she beat up once, banging and hollering at the toolshed door, and every one of Shane's friends crowded at various intervals around it.

And they were all staring at her.

In a not so friendly way.

"Oh, shit."

Stepping forward, she grabbed hold of Marina's bicep, only to lose hold when Marina stepped forward, expression a passive glare, moving fast.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

Sydney swallowed, managing a little wave as she followed her cousin, feeling somewhat naked when the previously friendly Alice gave her a look that would have put Lauren to shame.

"Did you call Marina?" Tim snapped, distracting Sydney as he glared at Tina. "I told you I didn't want her here!"

"She's here, whether you like it or not, Tim," Marina snapped right back, shoving past him to knock on the door. "Jenny! Why won't she come out?"

"Okay, for the record?" Bette said, crossing her arms after pushing her sunglasses further up her nose. "I don't want her to come out as much as I want her to STOP PLAYING THAT SONG."

THAT SONG, Sydney realized, was 'I Touch Myself'.

"Oh my God."

--

She had never been so fucking scared in her entirely life.

Shane was rigid as a board, hands folded in her lap, staring straight ahead, as Jack Bristow climbed into the seat beside her.

"Seatbelt," he said sharply, and she scrambled, reaching for the belt and stretching it over her waist, fumbling with her free hand to lock it into place.

He lost patience the fifth time it slipped awkwardly past the clip, and reached over, locking it in place himself.

Great. Now she was strapped into a car with Sydney's murdering dad.

"You're probably wondered what the urgency was," he said, turning the ignition in the key, revealing a bulge against his blazer that could only have been his big ass gun.

Shane swallowed, closing her eyes and swiveling her head back to the front. "I've got an idea," she mumbled.

The car moved with a lurch, and she eeked her eyes open, watching as he sped down the street, barely stopping to make a turn at the corner. "Then you know that it's a very serious matter."

"Sure," she mumbled. "Just... you know..." she took in another breath, managed to grab hold of her courage. "I mean... I don't do this a lot... I mean, okay..." He shot her a sharp look. "I mean - not all the time. I mean, usually just every other day-"

"Every other day?" he repeated.

"Well... I mean, not lately. I mean... not since Cherie-"

"Cherie?"

"But she was married-"

"She was MARRIED?!"

"Yeah, but I knew that!"

Oh, God... She snapped her mouth shut, gulping for air now.

He stared at her, this piercing glare that scared the shit out of her, before he turned into an open parking spot. "Would you care to explain yourself?"

Oh-shit-Ohshit-ohshit-

"Sir... I just want you to know that I respect your daughter, and would never have taken advantage of her in anyway. I care about her, and really, she's the one that turned me down. She went back to Vaughn, and really - that girl? Jezabel-"

He quirked an eyebrow. "Isabel."

"Right. She was just... umm... just a fuck, sir. And considering that me and Syd never really got going, I really don't feel like I have anything to be... sorry... about..."

Okay... she was dead. She was so dead right now - SHUT UP, SHANE.

Jack Bristow's glare could have melted ice, and Shane felt like her soul was withered into bits, just in the few seconds she had the full blast of it. It must have gone on for hours, as she sunk further into her seat, more and more sure of impending death, when he asked, "Sydney has returned to with Michael Vaughn?"

Shane blinked, narrowing her eyes at him like a frightened cat. "Yessir."

"Hmm." He glanced away, thumbing at the wheel. "Well... we'll definitely have to work on your ability to crack under pressure."

"Mr. Bristow -"

"Shane..." If she hadn't known better, she could have sworn he had the hint of a smile on his face, as he shook his head. "Shane, this has nothing to do with your feelings for my daughter - though your intentions are reassuring."

"Excuse me?"

"The serious matter referred to my offering you a job with the CIA."

Shane blinked, mouth dropping in confusion. "Uh... what?"

"I assume Sydney didn't mention this."

At the moment, her beating heart seemed to be rushing too much blood into her. Shane took in a hesitant breath, before she blinked, rubbing at her eyes and muttering, "Uh... no. No she didn't."

A job? A job with the CIA? Sydney had-

"She seems to think you'd be an ideal agent," Jack Bristow continued.

A small spark of excitement ignited within her at the thought, until it was extinguished just as quickly by the sound of Sydney's voice the night before, apologetic and sad.

That's right.

With a heavy sigh, Shane closed her eyes, slipping back into the seat, taking a moment to recover from the bruise her heart had taken.

"Listen, Mr. Bristow." Her eyes flickered open, and she gave him a somber, firm stare. "I don't need any favors."

He took that in, in a passive, unreadable way, before he shook his head and said frankly, "I don’t do favors, Shane. And this wouldn't be one. You have absolutely no idea what you are getting yourself into. This life is not exactly rewarding, and you are an emotional wreck. You have absolutely no discipline - you couldn't even remember the name of the girl you slept with before-"

"It would have come to me eventually."

"But you're inventive. Charismatic. You have a way with people." It sounded more like an insult than a compliment. "You would be a good fit, if you got yourself straightened out. My way."

"Your way?"

Jack Bristow pressed his lips together, studying the steering wheel, tracing it with his fingertips before he smiled. "Recently I was given the authorization to create my own covert opps team. It seems the government has decided that since I will do whatever I want when I want it, it would be less embarrassing if they at least pretended they authorized it first." Shane quirked an eyebrow, pressing her palms together when he continued, "Who is on that team is up to my discretion. I'm prepared to leave a spot open for you-"

"Sir-"

"It won't be easy, Shane. You'll be going through some hard training and there are things you'll have to give up. Starting with the drugs and the hair."

"My hair?!"

"But if you think you're worth keeping around, then I'll put in the time. And Shane?"

"Sir."

"Don’t make me look like an idiot."

It was entirely overwhleming, because really, in all her life, Shane had never ever imagined being recruited into the CIA, and FUCK - it was the CIA.

It would be Italy... 24/7. It would be...

She stared, swallowed hard, looked hard into Jack Bristow's eyes, eyes that seemed to mirror Sydney with their sincerity and their hardness.

Her phone buzzed in her pants, such a curious sensation she didn't process what it was until she looked down, and saw it meeping in it's clip.

Flushing, she fumbled for it, plucking it from her belt loop and putting it to her ear, suddenly grateful for the distraction.

"Yeah."

"It's Alice. Are you asleep?"

Shifting her gaze to Sydney's father, she coughed. "Not exactly. What?"

"Jenny's locked herself in her toolshed. You should come down."

And THAT was a little more than she was ready to hear. "What?"

"Jenny? She's locked herself in the toolshed! She won't come out! Get over here!"

Shane sucked in her breath, trying to shake the confusion from her when she snapped, "Alice, why the fuck would I want to get over there to see that? Isn't she always in her toolshed?"

"Listen, Shane - we're all over here, and in a few years, we're going to be able to look back at this moment and laugh our asses off. You have to be a part of that. Oh, and Sydney? She's here."

Sydney. In her weakness, Shane wondered when exactly she had become so damned predictable. This was a girl who had passed her over for a guy, just like Shane had predicted the moment this damned fling had started.

It was an age-old mantra - no fucking around with straight girls - they would always break your heart.

She winced, and found herself remembering where she was, when Jack Bristow sighed impatiently, looking ready to kill.

"Hey... Mr. Bristow. Can I get a lift somewhere?"

--

In the end, Alice could have really just documented this as a classic sitcom scenario. A celebrated, wacky slap-stick finale to their angst ridden hell.

It was perhaps why she found herself watching this with contented amusement, because in her opinion, everyone was making a lot about nothing. Jenny was prone to dramatics, and while she understood that she and Marina were in love, yadda, yadda, yadda, she still doubted that locking herself up in a toolshed, playing 'I touch Myself' over and over really was the best way to go about it.

Marina sighed, throwing her hands up in the air when the song started again, and turned to Tim with an angry glare. "Do you have power tools?"

He looked at her blankly for a moment, before he snapped, "She's in my toolshed!"

"So?"

"SO SHE'S GOT ALL MY TOOLS!"

So, maybe she was going to hell for thinking that Marina and Tim sniping in front of the toolshed door was amusing, but God help her, precious little else about this was.

"You know? If it were anyone else, I'd have told them by now to get a room," Dana whispered.

Alice ignored the tiny shiver that ran up her spine at the feel of Dana's puff of breath against her ear. She promised Dana and herself that they would still be friends, and dammit - she needed that.

There was no room for awkward sexual tension, and Alice had all but completely forgotten the mind-blowing kiss that had started them down this road to begin with.

Almost.

"Who knows?" she snipped. "Maybe a threesome is what they all need."

"Bette? Do you have any tools?" Tim asked, turning the attention to the woman in her suit, nursing a coffee and glowering over sunglasses.

"What are you asking her for?" Tina snapped, scruffing fingers in her hair. "She never lifted a finger in there."

"Tina..."

"You're better off asking the maid," she finished.

"Well, is she there?" Marina asked.

"No she doesn't come in for another week," Bette admitted.

"You can always try her carpenter!" Tina chirped.

"Tina? Really, what the fuck!"

"Sydney, do you have your gun?"

At the sudden attention, Sydney Bristow looked a little taken aback. "Why?"

"Why do you think?"

"I'm not going to SHOOT the door down, Marina!"

"Then kick it!"

"She can't kick my door!"

"Shut up, Tim."

"Will you just fucking grow up, already?" Bette's glasses were now off her eyes, and they were narrowed angrily in Tina's direction.

"Oh, so you can act like a self-serving horny slut, but I'm not allowed a little bitchiness?!"

Alice sighed, a sudden headache throbbing as she fought her smile at the ridiculousness of all of this.

"You know what? Fuck this. I'm going inside."

"Otherwise translated as 'SCREW YOU GUYS! I'M GOING HOME'." Bette shot her a scathing glare, and Alice only grinned sweetly, actually a little impressed with her Cartman imitation. "Just calling it as I see it, babe."

The outburst had stopped the other argument in it's tracks, and when Sydney glanced toward them, she made an automatically sour face, forcing Marina's cousin to sigh, turning away.

Really, a little part of Alice would have felt bad at the cold shoulder that the Bristow woman was getting, but that was before she realized exactly what the hot little spy had done to Shane, and really, macking on a girl only to spend the night with her boyfriend was the reason Bisexuals got such a bad wrap.

The wooden fence door creaked open, and Alice glanced back to see Shane edging through it, pulling off sunglasses to squint at the scene, followed by an older, hot guy with big ears, who narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Shane!"

The name was enough to draw attention from almost everyone, before 'I Touch Myself' started over again, and Alice rolled her eyes, turning away.

--

Really, being stuck between Marina and Jenny's ex-fiance, a very bitter Tina and an apathetic Bette, and Shane's loyal friends who looked like they wanted to kill her? Was not the way she had planned to spend Marina's last morning.

Marina herself looked increasingly desperate, and it was only the slight panic in her cousin's eyes that kept her from racing from the place, especially when she turned and suddenly realized that Shane had entered this little melee, wearing the same clothes she wore yesterday and looking twice as tired.

She barely even had a moment to register the thump of her heart and the sinking of her stomach, before that was taken over with surprise, when her own father followed, staring at the group like he was at the zoo.

"Dad!"

"Sydney?" He blinked, let her come to him, arching an eyebrow as she crossed her arms, tense and exhausted. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" she breathed, arching her neck to glance quickly at Shane, who eyed her for a second before turning her attention to her friends, who once again looked like they were ready to murder her. "I am here, apparently, to pay the price for being a floundering bisexual."

She didn't even realize she had said it, until she caught her father's glance and realized that for the first time, he seemed struck speechless.

She blinked, swallowed, and shut her mouth.

He recovered faster than she expected, not looking at her as he answered evenly, "That's an interesting way to come out to me."

She groaned, ignoring the searing heat in her cheeks before she managed, "If it helps - I'm only bisexual when it comes to Shane." Maybe that wasn't exactly helping. Her dad rolled his shoulders, as if trying to shake off a disturbing image, and she shifted uncomfortably. "That's something we never have to talk about again."

"I think that's a good idea," he said immediately. "Especially if you intend on working with her on a daily basis."

Sydney swiveled, eyes locked on his. "You offered her the job?"

"I offered her the job," he repeated, cutting off his own sentence when his cellphone beeped, somewhere in the confines of his coat. He glanced quickly at the ID, before he quirked an eyebrow. "It's your mother."

--

Despite what many people seemed to think, there was one part of Jenny Schecter that remained relatively sane.

What people failed to realize, however, is that it was a relatively weak part, and while it played a significant role in determining what she SHOULD do, it often failed to dictate what Jenny really DID do.

Currently, she knew, at the base of herself, that it was silly to keep up this charade. Locking herself in a toolshed was only a smallterm stave to a problem that had no solution.

The fact of the matter was, Jenny simply did not have the strength to see Marina again, and logically, she knew, that no matter who she talked to, it would all come back to Marina.

She would see Marina, and the next thing she knew, she would beg, beg Marina not to leave her, to love her enough to take her with her, because Jenny had never been left alone before, and she wasn’t ready for it now.

And deep inside, she knew, she knew it wasn't fair to Marina - that it would make Marina maybe hate her, that being rejected again would make Jenny hate her more, and all that love that she basked in would be twisted and distorted, and she'd rather Marina leave thinking Jenny was a crazy girl who locked herself in a toolshed, than face Marina's rejection one more time.

So she turned up the stupid song, let it go through another cycle, and tried desperately to drown out Marina's voice with the others, covering her eyes, and letting her tears drip down her cheeks.

--

"So..." Alice quirked an eyebrow, fighting a smirk as Dana asked, "Have fun last night?"

Shane picked at her clothes, sunglasses on, expression sour as she shuffled her feet, shrugging, "I guess."

"The girl was cute."

"Which one?" Shane asked, distracted. "Why don't they just break down the door?"

"Which one?" Alice asked, disbelief coloring her tone. "The one you went home with! What was her name?"

Shane finally turned to them, befuddled expression on her face. "Uh..."

"Isabel," Dana filled in.

"Isabel, right." Shane nodded mechanically. "I knew that."

Love them and leave them was Shane's motto, so the fact that her friend had forgotten her one-night stand's name wasn't surprising. What was slightly irritating, however, was the way Shane was not so subtly sneaking glances at Sydney Bristow.

Dana sighed, loudly, not-too-subtly, but it was only when Alice clucked her tongue and snapped a disapproving, "Shane," that Shane jerked, like a child with her hand caught in a cookie jar. "What?"

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"She's not worth it."

Shane was either in denial or way too defensive. She huffed, rolling her eyes as she turned away from them. "Guys-"

"She did to you exactly what Cherie did," Dana said bitterly. "Don't you see-"

"Fuck that- it's not like that!"

"Forget the bitch, Shane!"

"She's not a bitch." Alice blinked, taking a step back unconsciously at the intense heat of Shane's voice. "You guys don't know shit about her, okay? So just leave her alone." And just like that, Shane was gone, heading right for Sydney's direction.

"Well, shit," Dana proclaimed.

Alice sighed, massaging at her neck. "Yeah. It's worse than we thought."

"She's really fucking in love with her, isn't she?"

"Looks like it."

"Can we be anymore fucked up?"

"Not even if we tried."

--

She looked fucking adorable, with her arms crossed, bangs behind her ears. She looked like a kid, and Shane shuddered slightly, a small, vivid memory of Sydney's cold hard face when she shot the soldier in Italy coming back to her. It was no wonder Sydney was good at her job.

She saw her coming, and separating from her father, she almost looked shy, a small, gentle smile on her lips, glancing at her feet like she was afraid she would trip, as she met her halfway.

"Hi."

"Hey."

An awkward silence was to be expected, but it still surprised Shane, the way she could smile at her, look at her, take her in and still want to kiss her and not hate Sydney for the fact that she couldn't.

"So, I hear my Dad offered you a job."

"I hear you were responsible for that."

Sydney's glance was startled, before the other girl blushed, sheepish expression taking over. "Are you going to take it?"

Shane paused, taking her in. "I dunno."

Sydney nodded, like she understood, before she licked her lips and turned back, voice heated. "I wish you would." The intensity of the request did something to Shane, made her look away before Sydney's voice brought her back. "There aren't a lot of people I really trust in this world, Shane. Knowing you would be there, every day, backing me up? It would mean a lot."

The wooden fence creaked, and Sydney and Shane were both distracted by the sudden entrance of Sydney's mother, looking irritated and annoyed.

Shane smiled, waved slightly, and let Sydney go, staying put as she watched the mini family reunion, Sydney's spymom caressing her daughter's cheek, in a whispered conversation with her father.

Footsteps behind her alerted her to Alice and Dana, her nosy friends as always, close behind. "Who the hell is that?"

Shane smiled. "That's Syd's mom."

"THAT'S her mom?" Alice blinked, and Shane hid her own smile at the stars that flickered in her orbs. "Wow. I mean... wow. I mean... WOW."

"Okay, we heard you the first time, Al," Dana snapped.

"How the hell did they get all the sexy genes? I HATE the Derevkos!"

--

"She's still inside?" Irina demanded, eyes narrowing at the scene, watching as Marina banged on the door of a rickety toolshed. "Why don't we just gas it?"

"You want to gas the toolshed," Jack commented dryly.

"It's a viable suggestion."

"Mom, I don't think Marina wants her girlfriend gassed," Sydney said, slightly pained at the suggestion.

"Whatever the means, we no longer have time for this." Irina's tone was firm, her gaze was serious. "We only have a small window, and we're losing it. Tell Marina, we must leave NOW."

--

"Jenny... Jenny please, just open the door. We can talk about this?"

"What the hell did you do to her this time?"

Marina had to ignore Tim. Her panic had given way to something close to desperation, and Marina found herself ridiculously near tears. She would have never given in to this game. This was a child's game, and Marina had sworn to never stoop to such childishness.

But her time was running out, and this was not just another fight.

This was the last time she would ever see Jenny, and selfishly, Marina needed her to understand before she left.

But Jenny was stubborn, and with every rap on the door, Marina felt her hope slipping away.

When she turned, caught sight of her aunt, her family, waiting for her, she knew it was over.

Suddenly tired, Marina's hand fell away, staring hard at the door, stepping back.

"I have to leave," she whispered roughly, and only Tim heard, as he stood uncomfortably to the side, staring at her as if unsure what to think.

"Where are you going?"

He had every right to hate her. She had taken his innocent crush and abused it, trampled it in favor of his fiance, and while it was nothing personal, she understood that the hooded depression in his eyes was more her fault than anyone else's, with exception to Jenny.

No one here was perfect. Tim's fault was his blindness to Jenny's faults, faults that Marina had scene within a week of getting to know his fiance. But for a moment, Marina wished she had his fault, his propensity to think the best of everyone, instead of her own, her willingness to see the worst.

"Far away from here," she said finally, managing a smile. "I'm sorry."

He didn’t know what to say to that, and that was how she knew, he understood she was sincere.

She turned back, swept a soft caress over the door, as if she could feel Jenny on the other side of it. "Jenny," she managed. "Jenny, I have to go. But I just... I know you won't listen to me, but I just..." She trailed off, and suddenly, she felt a glimmer of hope, turning back to the others, who all stood, watching. "Tina, I need to borrow a boombox."

"A boom box?" Bette repeated.

Marina nodded breathlessly. "Please."

Tina sighed, glanced uncertainly at her ex-wife, and finally nodded. "It's in the closet, under the hamper. I'll get it."

Bette shifted uncomfortably, but nodded, smiling shortly at Marina. "Okay. What do you need?"

She knew what she was looking for, and she moved quickly, weaving around her friends and family, until she reached her car, quickly pulling open the door and sorting through the CD's that Sydney had flung to the back seat, ignoring Marina's argument about order.

When she returned, 'I touch Myself' had paused, and everything was silence, with exception to the chirping off the birds, tentatively breaching the quiet with their song.

Tina had the boombox, looked at her uncertainly as Marina knelt down, pushed the eject button, and placed the CD inside of it.

When she had first heard this song, she had cried, and had surprised herself with her emotion - because Marina was a purist, and she had never believed in the beauty of English prose. This song, especially, had an awkward simplicity to it, but in this case, it worked perfectly.

She and Jenny loved complicated, and for once all Marina craved was the simple.

She pushed play, and the piano began, followed quickly by the guitar.

She stood, glancing at the door, waiting as the words came soon after, in the form of a pained young man.

--

"Oh My GOD." Alice blinked, arms crossed as she recognized the song blaring from the speakers. "Is she seriously serenading her with Hoobystank?"

"That is the fucking corniest thing I've ever seen," Dana muttered, despite the fact that she seemed to be wiping at tears.

Even Shane had to admit, it was bad. "Seriously," she agreed. "You know, it really pisses me off that only Marina could do something that cheesy and make it look damned regal."

"I tell you, man! It's the genes!" Alice sniffed. "Fucking Derevkos."

--

An arm, gentle and caring, slipped about her waist, and on the other side of her, a chin rested on her shoulder.

She discovered Bette and Tina, on opposite sides, both holding her, staring at each other suspiciously before both gave in, sighing into Marina.

It was an affectionate, unexpected gesture, and she was grateful for the comfort. But the song was almost halfway over, and there was no movement at the door.

"Marina."

It was her aunt, and there was no more time. She had to go.

Turning, she closed her eyes, pressed deeply into Tina's embrace, brushing a kiss along Tina's temple before she did the same to Bette.

She let them go, walking with a sad smile to the Three Musketeers, who embraced her with a group hug that seemed completely in character, Dana sniffing away, Alice wiping stoic tears, calling her sweetie, and telling her how much they loved her.

She held onto Shane, asked with her eyes what she could not trust herself with her mouth, and Shane was perceptive enough to nod.

"I'm coming with you."

--

Tina's heart was curiously fragile, considering the lump of ice she had built around it in the recent weeks.

There was a tentative silence, one that no one was quite willing to break, as the song ended, three seconds of glances before the CD continued, bursting into the next.

Close enough to the door, she was the only one to really notice at first when the toolshed door rattled, and she felt her heartbeat stumble when Jenny emerged, tearstained eyes searching the yard fearfully.

What she was looking for, she didn’t find.

Her gaze landed on Tina, and in Tina's warm, moistened eyes, she found her answer even before she asked it.

"She's already gone, isn't she?"

Tina swallowed, found her words blocked by the lump in her throat, and didn't even have the heat to fight off Bette's palm, wrapping tentatively around her forearm, as she discovered Jenny.

Tina could only nod, witness the heartbreak in Jenny's face, before the girl nodded back, smiled oddly, and slowly closed the door, once again.

--

A large desert basin was hardly LAX.

But it afforded privacy, as the little jet stood ready to take Marina away, and now faced the reality of it, Shane really didn't know what to say.

Marina took care of it for her, with a gentle smile, a soft touch against her cheek.

"This isn't goodbye."

Shane knew better than to argue. Marina had proven to be wise about things like that, and Shane sincerely did hope she saw Marina again.

She would miss her.

"Yeah," she answered gruffly. "I need another ammoral bitch, you know? Cause um... Kit makes shit coffee."

Marina's grin widened, before it turned into a slight smirk. "Think about the job offer, Shane," she said finally. Shane blinked, eyes widening in surprise, before she rolled her eyes. Of course Marina would know. Sydney told her everything.

"I don't know."

"If you were smart, you'd run screaming," Marina agreed, and Shane grinned, turning into a laugh when Marina continued with, "But you've never been very smart." Tugging lightly at a bang, Marina nodded. "I already know what you are going to do."

--

"My whole life, I promised myself that no matter what I would do, what choices I would make, that I would never have any regrets." Irina Derevko was beautiful in the setting sun, hair tinted by the golden rays, setting off the hues of auburn in her hair, as she stared over the landscape. "I now know I should have never been so foolish. I have many regrets, but none so prominent, as not being able to be here, to help you with the changes in your life. Being here for you as your make your choices."

Sydney flushed, caught between the emotion the words brought her and her immediately defense. She settled for an awkward laugh, rubbing at her cheek as she muttered, "Dad told you about the lesbian thing, right?"

Irina grinned, a lazy, predator grin that would have scared Sydney months ago, and now just struck her as teasing.

"There is that," she remarked. "I do not envy you your choice, Sydney."

"I made my choice, Mom. I chose Vaughn."

Her mother just stared at her, as if still waiting to speak, and it occurred to Sydney that her mother may have simply not believed her.

She resisted the urge to toss an anxious look at Shane, and instead reached forward, buried herself into her mother's arms for a too-short moment. Sydney, starved for years without her mother's love, would never have enough.

--

She dropped keys into her palm, and Shane blinked, unsure of what to make of it until Marina smiled.

"What am I going to do with it?" she asked. "I always thought you'd look good in a convertible."

Overcome, Shane didn't know what to say, and was saved from having to respond at all when Sydney came forward, tightened her arms around Marina, holding her cousin tightly.

Shane had nowhere to go, as she witnessed another good-bye, turned her head to find Sydney's mom and dad kissing, and suddenly intruding, she looked right back, to see Marina let go of her cousin, stepping back hesitantly.

"If Jenny asks," she said finally. "Only if she asks. Tell her, what I felt was real. No matter how many games I have played in my life - I understand the difference, and hers was the only one I ever lost." She smiled sadly. "I was never happier to lose."

Those were her parting words, and how Shane would remember her - beautiful and in love, walking away from the life she had built, side by side with Sydney's mother.

Shane watched her go, beside Sydney and her father, somehow a part of this twisted family, eyes on the plane as it left them, until it was a dot in the sky.

Sydney's father walked away without expression or comment, and Shane didn't blame him.

It left her with Sydney, and she turned, observed her friend, as Sydney closed her eyes, took in a haggard breath.

"It was almost real," she managed, trying hard to keep her strength when Sydney's brilliant eyes opened and caught her own in their jeweled gaze. "What we had. What we almost had."

Sydney's gaze bore into her, burned into her soul, as she smiled delicately, said softly, "Yeah. Yeah, I think it was."

She managed a shaky breath, nodded slightly, blowing it out. Maybe that was what she needed. Confirmation that she wasn't crazy. That this could have been the love of her life.

And she felt better now, because she had learned from Marina - sometimes you didn't end up with the love of your life.

Sometimes you were just lucky to be around them.

"We better go," Sydney said after a moment, crossing her arms like she did when she was nervous, when she was trying to hold herself in. "You ready to-"

"You go ahead." Shane smiled, shook Marina's car keys. "I've got my own ride."

Sydney blinked, stared at the shimmering silver with an open mouth before she huffed, "She gave you her car?! She didn't even get me a card!"

It was enough to make her smile, as Sydney caught herself, flushed deeply, and bowed her head, smiling back.

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

Tomorrow. Shane sighed, felt in her pocket the card Jack Bristow had given her. Tomorrow would be the start of a totally new life, and in this desert wasteland, Shane pondered it.

"Yeah," she said finally. "You'll see me tomorrow."

Sydney's smile was brilliant, and Shane knew it was going to be okay, as she watched her leave, get into the car with her father, saw the burst of dust as the black sedan cruised away, leaving her to watch the sunset.

Shane McCutcheon. CIA Operative.

She smiled. "I can dig it."

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I'll continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears

Thats why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

-- Hoobastank, The Reason

FIN