Nothing to Write Home About: Bad Habit

In this world there's real and make believe
This seems real to me
-- Let Me Go - Three Doors Down

Jack Bristow did not consider himself a decent man. Morals and ethics had little to do with his line of work - he was a patriot unless it didn't suit him or endangered the women he loved, and then, he was no one's to control.

It was a trait Irina appreciated, for the same reason that he admired the same about her - they were no ones: but their daughter's.

Irina's loyalty had been split now - the discovery of her second, less stable daughter thrust back into their lives, poisoned by Sloane's influence, had sent her tumbling back in that world.

Jack wondered at the irony that came with the knowledge that <i>Irina</i> was on a soul mission, trying to save her other daughter from their own darkness.

She had entrusted him with Sydney's wellbeing, and he took the mission seriously, close to his heart, the very heart that thumped in his weakness, as his daughter dug fingers further into the trenchcoat, teasing fingers pushing a strand of hair behind her ears, smiling tightly.

He waited for her on that bridge, taking the time she took to meet him to study her face. His daughter was sporting new bruises now, and along her cheek was a carefully concealed scab.

His daughter had been through hell.

She finally met him, sighing breathlessly as she came to a stop in front of him, eyes warming instantly, before protocol caused her expression to harden, her voice to become mechanic with formality.

"Dad."

"Mission accomplished, then?" he asked flatly.

She shrugged, managing the smallest of smiles. "It depends on what you've brought me."

Reaching into his coach, he pulled out the necessary disc encoded with the details. "Your cousin brought us an interesting situation, Sydney," he admitted, letting her pluck it from his fingers. "But the CIA is certainly willing to explore the options."

For the first time today, he saw a real smile from Sydney. "Thank you."

"No guarantees," he reminded her. "Your cousin is taking a chance."

"So are you," Sydney recognized, and again, her mouth twitched. "Thank you." He glanced down, ignoring the obvious admiration, as she continued, "And our other problem?"

"The rest of the team is on the way to handle the extraction," he said, pulling out a folder and once again putting it in her hands. "You thrive on complication, don't you, Sydney?"

"When it comes to saving lives, I guess I do," she admitted. "Besides, I did all the hard work."

"You didn't have to break the news to Erica Kane," he reminded her with a grimace. As Sydney's smile slowly grew, he couldn't stop the small smirk at the great diva's expense. "For a moment, I saw a bit of your mother in her."

"That is frightening," she said. Already, they had stayed too long, and she stepped back hesitantly, nodding. "Thanks, Dad."

He didn't mention that he loved her, or that his worry had given him an ulcer when she had taken this mission against his will. He didn't mention that her mother missed her and loved her, and, most importantly, that he had missed her too.

He said none of those things.

"I'll see you at home, Sydney."

His beautiful Sydney turned and walked away from him, and Jack Bristow watched her, watching with both wonder and dread, wondering how in the world, her daughter had managed to nurture that precious heart.

Marina still frightened her.

Maggie studied her, the woman watching over them. Marina's face was bruised, just like Maggie's, her stitches hidden by a curtain of black hair. She grimaced when she moved, shifting in her seat, in obvious pain thanks to her ribs.

This woman was a killer.

Maggie owed her her entire life.

Miranda shifted in Marina's lap, like a little lion club, crawling over the thief, grabbing handfuls of jet black hair with chubby fingers, babbling cheerfully about cheerios.

Marina listened, palms spread over the baby's back, supporting the little girl, sporting a small smile, carrying on the conversation as if Miranda was a Russian diplomat.

"She loves that little girl." Arching her neck, Maggie discovered Lena, dressed in a coat, her longer hair pulled from her face, revealing striking features and a beautiful smile.

"Hey," she said, as Lena knelt beside her, familiar fingertips on her shoulder, taking in the sight of her lover with Maggie's baby girl.

"I hope you don't keep her from seeing her."

"I wouldn't do that," Maggie said, voice husky, mouth tilting with affection. "You both saved her life. And Marina likes her. Even if she does still scare the hell out of me."

Lena chuckled at that, nodding. "I think she scares herself sometimes." They quieted, as Lena smile faltered and they were left in sudden silence.

"Did you say goodbye to Bianca?" Maggie asked, hands in her lap, tone forcefully friendly, gentle.

Lena looked at her, dark eyes filled with emotion. "I did. And now I say good-bye to you, dear Maggie."

She had always admired Lena - and now, she liked her. Her mind still struggled, to wrap around the connotations of that statement, but it didn't stop her smile as she opened her arms and wrapped Lena in them, feeling the slender woman's body against hers, warm and flush.

"Take care of them, Maggie," she heard against her ear, before the pressure of lips against her cheek brushed softly, and Lena pulled back, grip so strong it was almost painful. Lena's eyes were shining.

"Please tell me you won't be out of our lives for good," Maggie managed, surprised to discover her own eyes stinging, her throat choked, lump looming within it.

Lena's eyebrow quirked. "What do you mean? Maggie, you're dead."

Maggie rolled her eyes at the playfull tone, dropping her hands and pushing out of her chair, as Lena joined Marina, pulling the struggling Miranda into her arms.

"And you, little one," Lena told her, as Miranda fingered the gold chain around her neck. "You shall always have my heart."

Maggie's smile was almost painful, as Lena closed her eyes and held the child close.

If things had happened differently, she might have been the one now, saying good-bye to the child she loved like a daughter.

She stopped that train of thought, shaking it away by wiping at her tears, distracted, thankfully, by Marina herself, as the taller, slender woman mimicked the action that she had taken when they had first met, staring at her with piercing eyes, tilting Maggie's chin up, drawing a gentle finger across her cheek.

"Your bruise is fading," she noted, and Maggie smiled. Out of the group that had come suddenly into their lives, she knew Marina the least, still awkward and uncomfortable with having to deal with a woman she still couldn't understand.

She settled for a handshake, an action that amused Marina, as she took the handshake, covered it with both palms and squeezed. "You have a precious gift in that child and your love, Maggie."

"I know," Maggie admitted, shoulders shrugging in self recrimination. "Thank you."

The door opened behind them, and Bianca entered, pushing it closed with her rear, a small, soft grin painting her beautiful features.

Maggie sucked in her breath, an attempt to stave off her already fragile emotion, and Bianca took her cue, squeezing Marina tight.

"You saved our lives," she whispered.

Marina cupped her face in her palms and answered simply, "It is you who have saved mine. And broken me of a very bad habit."

Maggie crossed her arms, confused, but Marina offered no explanation, only let Bianca go. Lena kissed the crown of Miranda's head distractedly, offering her back to Bianca.

Maggie remembered once, how Lena had come to their apartment during Bianca's pregnancy, and proceeded to hustle her way around the room, spouting slang and making Bianca erupt with laughter, doing all she could to brighten up Bianca's day. Standing side by side, the Lena and Marina looked remarkably similar.

Maggie suddenly flashed to a picture of Marina doing the hustle.

The thought made her smile, her heart tightening inside her chest.

Another smile for Miranda, and then they both left, Lena and her lover, offering small, understated grins before they headed for the door, closing it behind them.

Maggie found herself alone with Bianca, taking in her best friend and her little baby.

She felt almost awkward, because she loved Bianca, she loved her so much and up until now, she had no idea what to do about it.

Bianca looked at her, and Maggie's heart jumped with unexpected emotion.

She smiled, no idea what to say.

The phone rang, distracting Bianca, and Maggie let out an uneasy breath, tearing her eyes from her as Bianca picked up her cellphone.

"Mom?!" Maggie jerked her head back, eyebrow arching. "Mom, you can't call me right now." Bianca closed her eyes. "Because I'm supposed to be dead!"

Shane was in the middle of a bite of a turkey sandwhich when the keys jerked, and she lifted her eyes to the intruders.

Eric Weiss smiled, already shrugging off his coat. "Did we miss the Duchess?"

Shane smiled, offering him the other half, which he took, gladly, stuffing it into his mouth. "You just missed her and her girlfriend."

Weiss looked up, and Shane grinned at the nearly horrified look. Despite his marriage, his now near platonic crush on Marina never did seem to fade. "Marina has a girlfriend?" he mumbled, spewing bits of lettuce.

"Dude - say it, don't spray it." He grimaced, as she ducked around him, closing the door behind Vaughn, as Sydney's boyfriend dropped bags on the floor. He looked tired. "You all right?"

Michael Vaughn just looked at her, wearing a curious frown. "I'm fine," he said after a minute. "Glad to see you guys are okay."

"Yeah, seriously," Weiss said, interrupting. Shane noticed he had already found the case full of soft drinks, cracking open a Sprite for himself. "Do you have to go and blow up a building? Usually our job requires a bit more subtlety."

Shane quirked an eyebrow. "I had nothing to do with that, man," she informed him, wacking at his head and laughing as he squeaked back at her, nearly cracking his teeth on his soda can. "You should talk to your girlfriend."

"I would have, if I hadn't missed her," he grumbled.

Vaughn sighed, taking the soda Shane offered him, running fingers through his sandy blonde hair. "So... you had fun."

"Not exactly the word I would be looking for," Shane admitted. She took in her friend, the tired lines around his eyes, the guarded look in his eyes. "I'm glad you're here." She sucked in her breath. "I’m sure Syd's glad, too."

His mouth pursed into a small frown, something flashing in his eyes, before he only managed a grin and just gave her a hug. "Good to see you, Beatnick."

"You too, Boyscout."

"You got a plan for us, tell me how to kill off an heiress, a baby and her girlfriend?"

"Yeah, and are they hot? Cause I could get into that," Weiss twittered, propping his feet up on the antique dresser.

"Sydney's working on getting that," she said, shoving his feet off the precious wood. "Behave." Weiss quirked an eyebrow, and she fought off a smirk, shaking her head. "And they're really fucking hot."

"Ha," he flashed a trademark Eric smile.

Even Mikey had to smile, as he passed an exasperated look to Shane, before shifting and managing, "They're hot?"

"God," she said, shaking her head at their 'guyness'. There was a reason she liked them so much.

The door rattled again, interrupting their laughter, and Shane's words died in her mouth, as Sydney stepped into the room, to discover them all looking at her.

Shane saw her eyes connecting with Mikey's, and for some reason, witnessing their reunion wasn't something she was up for.

She turned away, catching Eric's eye and tossing him the rest of her sandwich.

Bianca's loving exasperation when it came to her mother and her sister always made Maggie smile, ache just a tiny bit with jealous reserve, because Maggie's family had been fully of genetics she would have rather forgotten.

The family she wanted was the family in the room. Miranda had been handed to her the second Bianca began to argue the whole plan with her mother, who, quite obviously, wasn't a fan of her daughter having to fake her own death, not to mention her granddaughters, and by default, Maggie's.

"It's not forever!" Bianca rubbed fingers into her neck, shaking her head. "People come back from the dead all the time! What do you mean?! What about Maria!? No, I'm not saying I want to be like Maria -"

Maggie suppressed a smile, hidden into Miranda's little pig tails, bouncing the little girl against her hip, until Miranda squirmed.

"DOWN, Maggie!"

"DOWN!" Maggie repeated, laughing, "Okay, down!" She let the child down, watching as Miranda tested her stability, holding onto the side of Maggie's jeans for support, before venturing the steps around the room on her own.

This beautiful little girl.

Palm pressing against her heart, Maggie wondered how possible it was, to love someone more with every second.

"Mom, I’m going to have to call you back-" Eyes drifting up, Maggie found Bianca was already hanging up the phone, staring at her with a misty, loving expression that did something to her insides, fixing a hot blush upon her cheeks and forcing her to look away, rock back on her heels.

"How's Mama Kane?"

"Distressed, Annoyed, Worried..." Bianca trailed off, doing that thing she did, with her fingers and her hair. "Pine Valley isn't taking news of the death very well..."

Maggie's smile faltered, and she thought of Aiden, Anita, Greenlee, Jack, Reggie - all the people who had loved Bianca and were being forced to believe she had been taken from them, again.

"They love you," she admitted. "But hey! Just think how awesome it will be for them when we miraculously come to life again!"

Bianca sighed, small smile flitting over her features. "Yeah, but how long will that be? Sydney and Shane said they'd try, but who knows if they ever figure out the rest of the puzzle? We could be in witness protection for years."

"We won't," Maggie said firmly. "I know we won't."

Bianca settled into a chair, as Miranda, having discovered a loose block, made her way to her, and dropped it in her mother's lap.

"Oh, thank you, baby," she said, laughing as Miranda, now that Bianca had it in her possession for safekeeping, turned her attention back to the floor, in search of other treasures.

Bianca turned her attention to the block, playing with it idly. On her face was a look Maggie recognized, and she almost smirked at Bianca's damned nobility. "Maggie," she said, as Maggie ducked her head. God, did she know this woman or what?

"Don't," she said, dropping to her knees and taking Miranda's next find, a box of Kleenex, "Thank you, Miranda."

"We-come!"

Bianca stared at her. "What?"

"I know what you're going to say, and don't," she said flatly. "You're going to tell me that I don't have to come with you and I’m throwing away my life, and blah, blah, blah and I'm not going to let you do that."

"Maggie, what about your school?"

"What about it."

Bianca looked frustrated. "Well..."

"Well, nothing," Maggie said. Miranda teetered, and she reached forward, settling her straight, as Miranda presented her with a cheeky grin and tottered back to the other side of the room. "Bianca, I'm sorry - but I've been desperately in love with you for years now, and I'm being told that I get to spend who knows how many months holed up with you in some beautiful little grotto with nothing to do but... well... you."

She glanced up, laughing at her own embarrassment, as Bianca flushed a beautiful pink, standing up straighter, glancing around as if someone could hear them. "I can't believe you just said that."

"Are you saying that you don't WANT me with you?" Maggie pointed out.

Bianca laughed, shoulders shaking. "NO! Not what I'm saying, at all."

"Then it's settled." Maggie smiled, pulling out a tissue and tweaking Miranda's nose with it, causing the girl to giggle and rush away, straight into Bianca's arms. "I love you, Bianca."

Bianca froze, ever so slightly, as she gathered Miranda into her arms and her gaze softened, brilliant, beautiful smile on her lips. "I love you too, Maggie."

And there it was, Awkward Sexual Tension Moment number three billion and three.

Maggie's heart fluttered, and she sighed, drinking in the sight of Bianca and Miranda.

Maggie didn't do anything. She stayed on the floor and averted her eyes, easing out her emotion with a breathless sigh, not quite ready to act on her affection - not right now. She wanted to savor the moment as it was, because this would be it.

She was in love, and... dead.

It was an odd feeling of escape, that cascaded over her now. Indecisive, awkward, stubborn Maggie Stone was dead.

Who this woman was now, on her knees, taking in her beautiful partner and their beautiful baby, Maggie didn't know.

But she figured she'd have some time to figure it out.

Sydney Bristow had more on her mind than her own tawdry love triangle.

Still, the sight of the two people occupying her heart in the same room affected her like it hadn't in years - she was in love, confused, and it hadn't been this hard since five years ago.

Sydney had sworn she would never look back, she would never regret, and now, all she could do was close the door softly behind her, as she laid eyes on her beautiful Michael Vaughn, who had once told her that all he ever wanted was for her to be happy.

She wasn't happy now, but she wondered blithely if she ever could be, as her gaze shifted from him to Shane.

Truthfully, there was a small part of her that regretted that this mission was nearly over. She and Shane and Marina, working together without the guys, it had been nice.

Until it had become complicated.

Still, as she said her stilted hello to her in-between boyfriend and forced her attention from her would-be girlfriend, she knew that now wasn't the time for this either.

There were other things to focus on, the lives of the family in their charge.

"Did you get it?" Vaughn asked, body stiff as she pressed a hello to his cheek. She offered him a small smile, nodding breathlessly and pulling the folder out of her lapel, and handing it off.

"So... lesbians, huh?" Eric said, popping a chip into his mouth. Shane shoved at his shoulder, and he gave her an odd glare. "What? I like 'em! I like you!"

Sydney rolled her eyes, catching Shane's annoyed grimace with a small smile.

Vaughn looked up from the folder and tossed it like a Frisbee to Weiss. "You struck a deal with Anna Espinosa."

Shaken from the small moment with Shane, Sydney straightened. "I had to - it's shaky enough. We just make sure she lives up to her end of the bargain, as soon as we can find out who hired her and why they wanted all evidence of Rambaldi and Michael Cambias dead, we're free to pursue her again, and give them back their life."

Vaughn's brow furrowed, deep in thought, and when their gazes locked, she knew he understood.

This was about family.

"Okay then," he said after a minute, hands on his hips. "Let's get them out of here and then we can get to work."

Sydney nodded, and moved fast, rapping lightly on the door that led to the master living room.

"Come in!" she heard. The door was a little heavy to open, and she was careful, discovering a little girl behind it, trying her best to try and get it open herself, while Bianca and Miranda chuckled proudly.

"Hello there!" Sydney said, blinking down at the small child, who clapped her hands proudly and tottered back to Maggie, letting the small woman lift her in her arms.

Bianca and Maggie both took in the scene, as Sydney smiled tightly at them both. "Are you ready?"

They looked at each other, best friends, partners, so much more.

Bianca reached out and tangled Maggie's fingers in hers, and suddenly they were connected, sharing and unspoken conversation that caused an ache in Sydney's heart.

She glanced at the ground, suddenly aware of Shane's gaze on her back.

"We're ready," Bianca said finally, resolutely. "We're ready."

Sydney took in a heavy sigh, and nodded. "Let's go then."

A dubbed rerun of Indentity was interrupted with a special report by Italy's Peter Jennings, who reported that Bianca Montgomery and her daughter had been tragically killed in a kidnapping plot that had gone badly.

They had died the same evening that the bomb in the Cambias headquarters had been detonated in Paris, France.

Marina shifted on the couch, watching the events with a curiously closed heart, fingers idly rubbing at the scab on her forehead, the dull pain helping her somehow to take it.

Alexander Cambias, newly appointment head of Cambias and sole heir of the conglomerate, was said to decline comment.

The program offered a smattering of pictures of Bianca and Miranda, gleaned mostly from tabloid press photos and wireimage. They were old images, Bianca had hidden from the press well in Paris.

"She looks beautiful."

She glanced back, moving to allow Lena to settle in beside her, watching the series of photographs with a husky, tainted voice.

It had been through unspoken agreement that they were still here, together. Marina would never admit that she hadn't wanted Lena to go, that she wasn't quite ready to be alone with her thoughts, and she knew that Lena herself was having a rougher time of it.

Lena had given up her love, and left behind with her heart, Marina wondered what Lena was to do now.

"She's very beautiful," Marina murmured, taking the flask of champagne that Lena offered her, and taking a sip.

The program ended with promises of more updates, and suddenly Identity resumed, just as the main character, a spy named Serena, discovered that her mother was still alive after being presumed dead, killed by her own father.

They watched in silence as the scene faded and the credits scrolled onto a black screen.

Created by Jennifer Schecter and Tina Kennard.

"Exciting show."

She could feel Lena's gaze on her, but Marina gave her nothing, instead sipping more wine.

Lena picked up the remote and turned off the television, leaving them in darkened silence.

"You will love her even if you do not see her." Marina closed her eyes for a brief moment. "Marina, you don't have to lie to me."

She considered that. "I never have, Lena."

"Then tell me you love her."

She placed her wine glass deliberately on the table, ribs aching slightly. "I admit it."

"Admit to me that the reason you want to go back is for her."

"She probably hates me," she said. "I left her with nothing but a broken heart and angry memories."

"You left her with a life," Lena said softly. Her soft palm traced against her bare skin, running fingertips up her bicep. "And you will promise me you will not let your Jenny get away. You will love her, Marina, if she'll have you."

Marina turned, discovered tears shining in Lena's eyes, found the brilliantly jeweled gaze so earnest, sincere, and broken hearted.

In that moment, Marina knew she could have loved her - had Jenny not taken such a permanent residence in her heart.

"I will promise you anything, Lena," she told her, catching her palm with her own, pressing into her cheek.

Lena's mouth tilted in a painful smile. "Then promise me," she said again, huskily, "That tonight - when you make love to me, you will not think of her. You will love me, Marina, if only tonight. Love me for tonight, as if you could love me for the rest of your life."

Lena needed so desperately to be loved.

Marina's own heart shuddered, and without a word she drew closer to her lover, opened her mouth willingly against the beautiful firm lips, dipping her tongue inside for a languid, gentle taste of Lena.

They both knew it would be the last time, the bad habit broken - running from their hearts to lend them to each other.

And still, Marina found herself crying, as Lena's slender fingers tangled in hers, as she arched against Lena's hips, felt Lena's mouth against her jaw, sharp fingernails dragging along her scalp.

It would be a hard habit to break.

They had been taken to a safe house, hidden deep within northern California, among vineyards and mountains, watched carefully by Sydney and Shane, while the media circus around them grew larger by the day at the horrible announcement of Bianca Montgomery's death.

Bianca had never been comfortable with deception, but she was capable of cultivating a lie if it meant saving her daughter's life.

Kendall and Sydney and her mother were around here somewhere, talking perimeters and visitation rights. Shane herself had had her own run-in with the great Miss Kane, who had mistaken the agent for a boy and then had the gall to blame Shane for it.

Here, it was just Bianca, standing on the small balcony, overlooking the fields, her glorified prison.

She was afraid.

"It's not Paris," she heard, and she didn't have to look to know it was Maggie who had found her. "But I could live with the scenery."

She smiled, turning to take in the beautiful girl, as Maggie, arms crossed, edged her way outside, taking her time to stand beside her, forearm brushing her own, looking where she looked.

"So this is home," she mused.

"Yes," Bianca agreed. "Home." Her heart quivered at the idea, yet another first start. "I'm scared, Maggie. I've never been this uncertain in my life."

Maggie was her rock, just like she had always been. Her best friend only slid her hand around her waist, and Bianca followed suit, cradling an arm around her shoulders, pressing her mouth against Maggie's temple, closing her eyes to breathe her in.

"We've faced tougher odds than living in our very own vineyard, Bianca," she heard whispered in her ear. "I think we're going to do all right. And think of it this way - I'm obligated by law not to run away."

Bianca laughed, the absurd statement only made sweeter by Maggie's wicked smile and twinkle in her eye. "You try and I'll kill you."

"Ah-ha! You can't! I'm already dead."

Bianca shook her head, shoulders shaking with laughter, holding Maggie and watching the settling sun. The sky was bursting with reds and yellows, tinting Maggie's hair.

"You're looking at this all wrong, Bianca."

"Am I?"

"Yes," Maggie said firmly. "Is it really that bad to be locked up with me and Miranda for a few months?"

Bianca considered that, taking in the beautiful woman who loved her, really loved her. Somehow she knew she'd be surprised by it forever, but she didn't mind.

It was the good kind of surprise.

"No, it's good," she admitted. "It's very, very good."

Maggie turned in her arms, until they were pressed flush against each other, her smaller body fitting somehow perfectly against Bianca. Maggie squeezed her hard, like a five-year old who had just discovered how to take the breath out of a person.

"It's like a honeymoon," Maggie said suddenly, mouth quirking in hidden mirth, and Bianca slowly smiled, remembering the conversation like it were yesterday.

"Is it?" she said softly.

"Sure," Maggie piped up. "You know, long walks in the vineyard, drinking wine on the balcony at sunset. It's a total honeymoon."

Except for the non stop sex, Bianca remembered as the next appropriate line.

It didn't come. Instead Maggie only smiled slowly, until she raised on her tippy toes and suddenly Bianca was treated to a beautifully slow, delicious kiss, Maggie's mouth sliding against hers, releasing a soft moan.

She felt the silky slide of Maggie's hair in her fingers as she reached for the nape of her neck, holding her still as she tilted her head and slid in deeper, tasting Maggie's tongue with her own, feeling Maggie chase her with her own passion, pulling her down further to give her more control over the kiss.

It ended breathlessly, until Bianca, in a moment of weakness, kissed her again, falling further into her love's embrace. She broke away in pure emotion, closing her eyes to hold Maggie close, feeling her heart pound in exhilaration.

"Honey," she heard against her. "Your mother is waiting to say good-bye."

Good-bye. Bianca's heart stuttered, and she opened her eyes and took in the setting sun, the glint of light off the leaves in their vineyard. "Can we stay like this for another minute?" she whispered.

"Bianca," she heard, lips pressing against her jaw. "We can stay like this forever."