Nothing to Write Home About: Bad Habit

I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes
-- Love Is In the Air, John Paul Young

Shane McCutcheon knew it was a surprise when people discovered she came from blue blood.

It was a past that sh e had long ago shelved, her past as Jaqueline/Jake, her years at boarding school and her life before she became a runaway and a statistic was so far away from her it was almost a fantasy, a blur. She told a different story, one easier to swallow, and only those closest to her: Jenny, Sydney, knew the truth.

She never missed the lifestyle, but years passed and she still recognized the type, even as every other aspect of it had grown increasingly foreign to her.

Erica Kane was an unapologetic diva, full of sincere loyalty, arrogance, haughty aggression, and glamour. She was the older, harder version of Kendall Hart, and had it not been her job, Shane would have run away from this situation a long ass time ago.

But truthfully, this lady reminded her of her mother, a woman who Shane still loved very much, despite their now nonexistent relationship and her abandonment as a child.

"Explain to me again why this is the best plan you could feasibly come up with."

She was a tiny woman with an imposing attitude, looking at Shane like the woman was little better than dirt, worthy of her attention only because Shane had been placed in charge of this plant, no other reason.

Kendall hovering in the corner, gave her an almost apologetic glance, as Shane took in Erica's annoyed expression and felt the tug of the corner of her mouth, a small smirk.

"Look, Miss Kane, as far as witness protection goes," she said, waving an arm around the large estate, "This is the jackpot." She was careful to watch her swear words, a consideration that was hard to stick to.

"Is it?" Erica sniffed, dark eyes flashing with annoyance. "You'll forgive me if not finding the kidnapper and having to fake my daughter's death, pretend to mourn both my daughter and my granddaughter, isn't exactly the 'jackpot' for me, Ms. McCucheon."

"Uh... Shane."

"Pardon?"

"Please," she said, rubbing fingers through her bangs, an aggravated gesture, "Call me Shane, all right?"

"Erica, please," Kendall also chided, coming to the other woman's defense. "They did all they can."

"Did they?" Erica's eyes glinted with fierce anger. "I'm not going to be allowed to see my daughter-"

"You're too high profile, Ms. Kane," Shane said, the vein in her temple inflating unexpectedly, causing a small ache. "And we'd prefer to concentrate on finding the organization threatening her life than to make sure they're not following you here."

Erica looked visibly disturbed, and Shane ducked her head, shoving fists into her pockets. She was keeping a mother who obviously loved her daughter away from her, and it didn't feel good. But at least Bianca wasn't fucking dead.

"Do you know what it's like, Shane," Erica began, causing Shane to raise her glance, take in the stoic face, "To be so completely out of control? To know your daughter is in danger and find yourself helpless to do anything about it?"

Shane's brow furrowed, she frowned. She shrugged, rolling her shoulders, shaking her head numbly.

"Then tell me how I can even begin to trust you."

"Mother-"

"You asked if I knew what it was like to have a daughter," Shane interrupted softly. Her mouth lilted into a sad smile. "I don't. But I know what it's like to love, Erica. I'd give my life for your daughter."

The statement came out not quite how Shane intended, as Erica Kane blinked, and nearly huffed like a peacock at the connotation.

"Uh...no," Shane stammered, bringing her hands out of her pockets. "That's not what I meant-"

"I'd rather not know," Erica said haughtily, and when Shane sighed, she caught Kendall smirking, and shot her a dark glare in response.

"Mother." Kendall finally took initiative, stepping forward on her six inch heels. "I witnessed their dedication. If they say they're going to find the people behind this, I believe it."

"Kendall, when exactly did you become the CIA's personal cheerleader? It's not a good look for you."

Kendall rolled her eyes, huffing in exasperation.

Shane bit back a smile, suddenly amused by the scene. Like mother, like daughter. So totally cliché.

"Oh, no - Mother? Have you been harassing the nice hairdresser lady?"

Bianca Montgomery entered, Miranda jostled on her hip, a bemused expression on her pretty face. Maggie Stone was behind her, wearing a similar smirk.

"Hey," she quipped, "Better her than me."

"Oh, fuck you," Shane spat out affectionately, before she froze and swiveled back to Erica Kane, shooting her an apologetic glance. "Sorry."

"The CIA certainly has interesting taste in agents," she said, and Shane couldn't tell if she was genuinely amused or annoyed. She took a step back just in case.

Kendall just smiled. "I do have a thing or two to say about the hair."

Just as Shane raised a self conscious palm to her mane, the front door burst open, and her teammates strode in, looking perfectly combed and professional and everything CIA agents should have been.

Shane's smile became a pained one. "THERE you are. We've been talking about my hair."

'Sorry', Sydney mouthed, as Weiss shot her a wink and Vaughn only shook his head. "Everything looks secure," he said. "I spoke with Dean and his agents - this place is more secure than our holding cell."

Sydney smiled, a beautiful, sympathetic grin as she came forward to Erica Kane and said gently, "I think it's time to say good-bye."

For some reason, Erica actually listened to her partner, and Shane found herself huffing to herself childishly. Why the hell did she listen to her?

She was distracted from Bianca's farewell to Erica Kane when she discovered Maggie suddenly before her, wearing a secret, shaky smile. "Can we go somewhere?" Maggie asked softly.

Shane didn't quite get the look in Maggie's expression, but she glanced up, communicating her intention with Sydney with a small quick of her head, and smiled at Maggie. "Sure, Mags. Lead the way."

Kendall had to admire herself.

In less than a week she had accomplished a damned lot, and somehow in between even managed to talk the CIA into secret funneling missions to allow her to see her sister, even when the great La Kane was asked to stay away for the duration.

It was a separation Erica didn't take well, but Kendall knew somehow, her distress was eased, knowing Kendall would be coming and going, smuggled in by Sydney and Shane themselves.

Erica Kane wasn't trusting of the CIA, but she trusted Kendall. It was a foreign, odd concept, and Kendall was almost ashamed to admit that it warmed her hidden heart, her not-so-secret need to be loved by her mother.

Still, Bianca would always be their treasure, their baby, and Bianca's good-bye to Erica was involved and tearful. Kendall waited, until Erica was escorted out of the room, and she was left with Miranda on her hip, staring at her beautiful baby sister, tears glistening in her brilliant brown eyes.

"Honey," Kendall found herself saying, "It's going to be okay."

Bianca glanced at her, blinked back her emotion to smile painfully. "I know," she managed through a husky tone. "It's just..."

"I know," Kendall said. "I know," before she opened her free arm and welcomed Bianca into her embrace, holding her shuddering sister close. "You know," she said, after a moment. "You have it easy."

Bianca pulled back, obviously surprised. "Excuse me?"

Kendall nodded. "Are you kidding? If Greenlee tells me one more time how she knows how I'm being torn apart and how she's going to be there for me whether I like it or not? I'm going to do worse than throw her in a pool."

Blinking, her sister seemed suddenly amused by the image. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious," Kendall confirmed. Greenlee had practically moved in, now that Ryan and her had officially called it quits, and Kendall found herself on the dangerous verge of killing her on again, off again best friend if she didn't stop following her around offering her shoulders and arms to cry on and threatening to shoot Zach or Ethan or JR every other minute.

"She cares about you," Bianca mused, "In her... weird... bitchy Greenlee way."

"Yeah well, at the rate she's smothering me, I kinda wish things were back to normal and she hated me," Kendall said, tossing her head. Bianca laughed, a beautiful pure sound that Kendall had always loved. "I want you to get out of here soon," she confessed. "I need you to help me plan my wedding."

It was one way to drop the bombshell at least. Bianca looked properly flabbergasted, eyes going wide, frozen in the middle of taking her daughter back. "What?"

"It's true," Kendall said, poking Miranda in the ribs, causing the little girl to giggle. "Zach and I are finally going to do it."

"Oh, God..." Bianca breathed, and Kendall rolled her eyes, already bracing herself for her sister and her goody-goody sensibilities. "Kendall, I thought we had talked you out of that insanity months ago!"

"Well, try harder," Kendall snapped, shoulders squaring. "Zach gets me. I'll admit things are muddy with him-"

"Muddy?! You've got your very own Greek Tragedy! Falling in love with a penniless pool boy would be a step up!"

"-But, he's promised me half of Cambias as soon as we say 'I do', and that's Miranda's half-"

"Oh, NO," Bianca snapped. "Do not make this about Miranda. You know I don't care about Cambias - especially after all this-"

Kendall crossed her arms, her sister's rant suddenly fading away at the sudden image of Zach and his smirk, the twinkle in his eyes that had made her laugh even when she thought she hated him.

"KENDALL!"

She blinked, brought back to reality, to discover her sister nearly as red as one of those grapes out there, and just as ready to burst.

She smiled, obviously not Bianca's intended reaction.

"Binks," she said softly, palms on her shoulders, rubbing at her frustrated sister's shoulders. "Stop trying to stop me, okay? Stop trying to take care of me, or talk sense into me. You love me, that's enough."

"Kendall-"

"No." Kendall smiled. "I'm marrying Zach. I'm going to become Kendall Cambias, and maybe this curse is real, maybe it's not, but the fact of the matter is, I feel more like myself when I'm with that arrogant asshole than I do with anyone else. I'm going to marry him, Binks."

What she said, how she said it, finally seemed to sink into Bianca, as her sister exhaled suddenly, shoulders sagging. "Oh my God," Bianca whispered, "You love him."

She wouldn't admit that. Kendall had sworn to never be a fool for love.

She just smiled. "Promise me something, Bianca. Promise me that you'll make this time about you. About Miranda. About Maggie." She squeezed harder. "You deserve to be happy, sweetie. Live in your paradise until it's time to rejoin the living. I promise - we'll be just as dysfunctional then."

She gathered Bianca into her arms, and held her tight, feeling as much love for her baby sister as she had ever felt in her life.

They walked in between the vines, sweet, dank smell of soil, leaves and fruit floating into their nostrils. Shane's feet pressed into the dirt, reaching nearly into her ankles.

"Nice place," she said, tilting her sunglasses down her nose to truly take it in, reaching for a cluster of grapes, hanging off the vine, plump and juicy.

"There are worse places to get quarantined," Maggie agreed, arms wrapped around herself. She was watching Shane with a curious expression, and glancing back at her, Shane's mouth tilted in a self conscious smirk.

She shifted on her heels, offering a curious nod. "What?"

Maggie licked her lips, shrugging as she took in a deep breath, scanning the horizon. "I wanted to thank you," she said. "I didn't know if I wanted to see you or Sydney in private, but... you were there for me, and... I like you, Shane."

The honest words reminded her strangely of Jenny, but it was wear the similarities ended. Still, it was enough to crack a smile. "I like you too, Maggie."

"Shane, I want you to tell Sydney how you feel."

Her smile dropped. "What?"

"I know what it's like to hide behind a broken heart, okay? I know what it's like to be afraid. But I think you really have a chance here. You want her? Fucking tell her you do."

Shane blinked, uncomprehending at first, until Maggie's smile widened and she realized why the words were so familiar. Maggie was tossing her words back at her.

Her heart pumped painfully, and Shane swallowed down the ache with a practiced sigh, shoving her glasses up her nose as she looked down at awesome little Maggie.

"Maggie, don't make me out to be a hypocrite." Maggie only shrugged, and Shane finally sighed, gathering her into her arms and offering her a gentle squeeze. "You're a little spitfire," she said, pressing her cheek against her forehead, squeezing once more for good measure. "You're a fucking superhero, Mags."

She released her, held out her hand. "Let's just concentrate on your love life for now, okay?" she parroted.

Maybe Maggie wasn't expecting an answer; that would explain her reaction. Maggie just shook her head, looking at her with this weird, peaceful expression, before she tangled their fingers, and they walked back to the house, moving through those vines, out into the open.

"It's okay that you're both stupid," Maggie said when they had reached the clearing. "You'll get it together eventually. I know you will."

And with that, Maggie waved, twiddling her fingers and walking back to her new home.

The great Erica Kane was a tiny woman with a big, big presence. Sydney found herself constantly surprised that she had to look down to speak to her.

In the circular driveway, the woman was regal, holding her shawl around her shoulders, the sunset tinting around her, casting off highlights in her hair, forming a sort of halo.

"Promise me something, Miss Bristow," Erica said, eyes on the limo that was edging around the pathway to greet her. "Promise me you'll find the people that did this to my little girl. Not the CIA. You."

Sydney breathed in, letting it out after it eased the anxiety in her. "I know you don't trust the CIA, Miss Kane-"

"Is there any reason why I should?"

"-But I can assure you," Sydney continued. "We're almost extremely invested in this. Not just this teams, but my father, my mother..." she trailed off, considering how to explain this without giving too much away. "We have our methods, and we will find them. We'll set your daughter free. Not matter what the means or methods."

Erica mulled the words, shifted her dark eyes to hers. "Miss Bristow, are you insinuating you're capable of playing dirty to achieve these ends? Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Does it?"

"Immensely," Erica confirmed, and Sydney smiled in spite of herself. The limousine pulled up, crunching in the gravel, and the agent in charge of escorting Erica stepped out, nodding to Sydney as the door opened. Erica hovered, and turned back. "You have my gratitude, Sydney. Thank you for what you've done for my family."

Sydney just smiled, nodding and stepping back, a deference to the royalty of Erica, as the beautiful older woman nodded back, and moved into her limo, the door shutting behind her.

As the limo crunched it's way back to the open road, Sydney found herself surveying the landscape, the small slice of heaven they had managed to find for Bianca and Maggie, for Miranda.

They wouldn't be here too long. She made herself that promise, and for once, it was something that her sister agreed upon. For once.

The only other idea that they had both favored was killing each other on sight.

In the corner of her eye, she spotted a familiar figure, and her heart leapt slightly, as she noticed Shane ambling down the path from the vineyard, making her way toward her. Sydney smiled, stepping off the stone steps and meeting her halfway.

"Taking a walk?" she asked.

Shane shrugged, glancing around the vineyard, sniffing at it like a confused cat. "Just saying goodbye to Mags," she said flippantly. "Girl's fucking crazy."

It was Shane's way of saying she would miss her.

Sydney pressed her lips together in a tight smile, kept her hands forcefully in her pockets as she considered Shane, and the feelings she evoked.

Timing had always been the worst.

Any other moment, this would have been the perfect place, the perfect moment, to confess to Shane that she had been wrong, that what she felt for her was strong and definite and terrifying, because Sydney was afraid that she would never get enough of her, and that her love would consume and destroy her.

Sydney would never be gay, but even that didn't matter anymore. Shane's gender had faded into just an aspect of Shane, and Sydney's heart literally throbbed at the beauty of Shane's soul. She wanted to touch her. She wanted to hold her.

How could you even begin to explain that a few stolen kisses years burned on her lips, hotter and brighter, than Shane's unintended burst of affection on this mission had shaken her to her very core, and all Sydney wanted to do was take her into her arms and finish what Shane started, until they were both naked and sweating and so wrapped up in each other she had no idea where one began and the other ended?

Shane's heels dug into the gravel, and the other women's hips swayed slightly, expression unreadable. "You allright?"

"Fine," Sydney said after a moment. "Just... thinking."

"Yeah," Shane agreed. "There's a lot of stuff to consider."

Her eyes connected with Shane's, chest constricting despite Shane's dark shades. "Yeah."

Sydney took in a shuddering breath, and managed, "It's just... there's so much to do. So much to work out. I really think that we should... take it one step at a time, put one foot in front of the other."

Shane said nothing, just regarded her.

"Because I want..." Sydney struggled with her words. "I want so much for this to be over, you know? I want everyone involved in this to be... free."

She wasn't sure what she was even saying anymore, but she was desperately hopeful that Shane understood her riddles. Shane knew her well enough to get through her muddled sentences, but Shane could be purposely dense, just like Sydney, and now, Sydney couldn't be clear, because it wasn't time.

"Sure," Shane said after a moment. "We gotta find the bad guys and let Bianca and company live their lives. Let them be happy."

Purposely dense.

She found it hard to breathe, the weight on her chest excruciating, but Sydney forced a small smile on her lips, and she nodded, letting out her breath.

Work first. She had time.

"Right."

Footsteps crunching in rocks made her jerk her gaze up, discover her in limbo ex-boyfriend and Weiss coming at them.

"Dude, seriously. This place is beautiful," Weiss said, nodding like a chicken. "Seriously. Gorgeous vineyards as far as the eye could see. Dark mahogany trim on the house. Ten rooms in that place. Cobblestone drive." Sydney glanced at the villa behind them. "How BORING is that!" he ended it. "What the fuck are they going to DO in there?"

Vaughn shot in a look, but Shane only snorted, "Are you serious? What are they going to do? Have you seen the way they're looking at each other? They're going to fucking do it in every room!"

"Every floor," Vaughn added.

"Every closet," Shane continued. "They have months to figure out how to do it in every nook and cranny."

"And a few different ways," Vaughn quipped. Sydney shot them all a disgusted look, but they were all laughing now, infectious chuckles rippling over them all, and she couldn't keep her glare constant.

"You guys are all five," she managed in between their chortles.

"Aww, come on, Syd!" Weiss said, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "That's why you love us."

She shook her head, and took them in. Weiss was right. She loved them.

"Come on," she said softly. "We have a lot of work to do."

They began to walk, chattering away, Weiss quizzing Shane on the joys of lesbian sex and Vaughn sniping something about Weiss being the one to talk to.

She followed a few steps behind, faltering to glance back at the dark house, the cool breeze coming over the mountains carrying the scent of the ripening grapes and berries around her.

She looked back, discovered Shane pausing, waiting for her.

Soon, she told herself, and pasted on a smile, moving to catch up.

They had E!.

Maggie's finger froze on the remote, and she glanced up, thanking God for small favors.

Wrapping the yellow blanket around her knees, she settled into the couch, the fire crackling nicely behind her, getting filled in on the latest celebrity gossip.

"I can't believe that you're watching that."

Maggie shifted, peeking over the edge of the couch. Bianca stood in the doorway, eyes on the screen, a disgusted expression on her face.

"Hey! Be glad we have this," she said diplomatically. "I was afraid that we'd just get basic and end up having to watch this-" she pressed a button, and turned on a Spanish soap opera, the actress wailing into the camera. She quirked an eyebrow, tilting her head at the scene as the woman catapulted from the stairs and into the arms of another woman, starting some sort of screeching catfight. "Though this does look interesting. I didn't know Kendall and Greenlee were in this!"

Reaching over the couch, Bianca took the remote from her, clicking the television off and coming in to settle beside her. "Why don't we save the television watching for later, okay?"

Maggie quirked an eyebrow, but didn't put much of a fight.

Despite the narrowed glare, she was already rearranging herself, until suddenly her legs were draped over Bianca's, and the blanket was tucked in carefully around them both, cocooning them comfortably.

Bianca wore an odd expression, as she reached for Maggie's arm, smoothing fingers over it, bringing her in closer, eyes downcast, and concentrating on her affectionate embrace.

"You okay?" Maggie asked, tilting her head against the couch, arching her hips to come closer, practically in Bianca's lap, to look carefully into Bianca's features.

Bianca sighed, perfect lips opening, tongue darting out to wet her lips as she considered what she would say, before she settled for, "Kendall's an idiot."

It was unexpected. "Not that I don't agree," she said, thumb caressing Bianca's black sweater idly. "But care to fill me in on what she did now?"

"Oh, she'll probably tell you herself tomorrow," Bianca said, dismissing her sister with a wave of her manicured palm. "You're in the wedding party."

Maggie blinked, unsure of the statement. "Excuse me?"

"Long story."

"Fine," she said, and reached for another remote, manipulating it, until the soft sounds of 'The Phantom of the Opera' filled the room. At the music, Bianca quirked an eyebrow. "What? I can be cultured." Bianca just stared harder. "Okay, and Gerard Butler is hot," she admitted.

Bianca's smile widened beautifully. "There's my girl."

"Your girl," Maggie repeated, eyes back on Bianca's sweater, thumbing it between her fingers. "I like that."

"Yeah, me too," Bianca admitted.

They fell into relative silence, heads against the couch, legs tangled together, Bianca's arms loosely around Maggie, while Maggie played with her sweater.

"Hey, Binks?" Maggie asked suddenly.

Bianca's hands shifted up to her shoulders, smoothing along her back. "Yeah."

Her girlfriend blinked, as Maggie stopped her distracted pawing with a palm over hers, stilling the movement, forcing the other woman to look into her eyes. "It's real, isn't it?"

Bianca's eyes were dark, bottomless, and Maggie's breath shortened when suddenly, Bianca shifted forward, and pressed her face into her shoulder. Maggie's heart literally banged against her chest in surprise, and she exhaled raggedly, head tilting in unconscious reaction when Bianca's mouth settled hotly on her artery, pressing a delicate, firm kiss, lingering on the skin.

"Um... hey!" She pushed back feebly, laughing as Bianca gave her an almost annoyed look. "I'm trying to be serious and you want to neck on the couch like a horny teenager?"

"I’m serious!" Bianca argued, and when Maggie gave her another glare, she sighed, pulling back. "Of course it's real, honey," Bianca told her softly. "This is our reality. This is our paradise."

"Than it's not real," Maggie said. "Because once this honeymoon's over, it's back to the real world, and who knows what else is waiting out there for us."

Bianca took that in, resting her temple with her palm. "Yeah," she admitted, "But, Maggie - I really think we can handle it. We can handle anything now. I really believe that." Bianca's confidence, her real sincerity in those words, made Maggie blink unexpectedly, shuffle in her place. "Does that freak you out?"

Maggie closed her eyes, pressed her palm to her forehead. "No," she said finally. "And it freaks me out that it doesn't freak me out. Does that freak you out?"

Bianca stared at her. "You're a nut."

She laughed, she couldn't help it, and in that laughter, her affection burst forth, sputtering over her sudden doubt and fears. Without another word she untangled her legs from Bianca, and sat up, leaning over, eyes glinting when Bianca shot her a surprised glance, as Maggie pressed her down on the sofa.

She rested on top of her, arms crossed above Bianca's chest, chin resting on her fists, gazing down at her.

"You're... so weird, Bianca," Maggie said, awe in her voice. "You're beautiful and strong and just... weird."

"I'm weird?!" Bianca said, laughing at the summation. "What's so weird about me?"

Maggie sighed, and instead of answering, settled herself against Bianca, resting her cheek against Bianca's chest. Bianca's arms came around her, and they held each other. Bianca's chest pressed against her, rising and falling, and Maggie smiled, heart suddenly close to bursting.

"You love me," she said finally. "You'll love me forever. That makes you weird."

"No," Bianca said, fingers snaking up to trail through her scalp, scratching lightly. "That makes me lucky."

Maggie lifted her head, discovered shining eyes and a brilliant smile. "Oh, you're good," she breathed. "You're very good."

She fell into Bianca's laughing mouth, Bianca's palms wrapped against her neck, taking her time savoring Bianca's kiss.

It was by pure accident that her channel surfing brought her to the channel, the exact segment at that exact time, but the face on the screen kept her from changing it.

Marina's heart was curiously closed, and she watched with a dangerous numbness, as Jenny's smiling face filled the screen.

"Known for her tabloid romances as much as the success of her show, Identity creator Jennifer Schecter hopes to bring her erotic lovelife to the small screen in her latest, most titillating project, the new drama A Girl's Thing.

The camera flashed to Jenny again, this time sitting in a chair, wearing the small, crooked smile Marina remembered vividly.

"It's a lesbian drama," she confirmed, laughing into her palms. "And yes, it's sexy, but I think it's more than that. It's a great story, and I hope people will be interested in seeing it."

"While the bisexual Hollywood heartbreaker will admit that the show was based on her own experiences when she first came to West Hollywood, Jenny is staying mum, on just how far she goes."

"It's not about me," Jenny said, shaking her head. "Just like Identity, we're taking a unique situation, and we're injecting real characters into it. It doesn’t matter if you're a spy or a lesbian, the story is the same. It's life. Raw, benign, bitter, ugly, fabulous, brilliant."

"A Girl's Thing is scheduled to premiere this June, but until then, don't be surprised if Jenny makes some waves of her own. While Jenny won't confirm who she's dating, she's been seen in the company of a very public fan, Angelina Jolie."

Marina paused the TIVO, and like a true sadist, focused on the paparazzi picture of her Jenny with Angelina Jolie, huddled close to her at some event, obviously laughing.

This had been her sacrifice, her gift to Jenny.

Marina wondered exactly what right she had to force herself back into Jenny's new serenity.

The light clicked on, and instinctively, she pressed the off button, Jenny fading into darkness, as Lena, now fully dressed, settled down beside her, eyes on the dark television.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you," Lena said softly.

Marina looked at her curiously, kept silent.

"Why did you save Miranda?" Marina blinked, confused, until Lena turned her head and stared at her. "Why did you agree so quickly to help me when I came to you? I know you, Marina - even your cousin was hesitant to help at first."

Marina licked her lips, and felt nothing inside of her. It was an odd, scary feeling, but she nearly welcomed emptiness.

"What are you asking me specifically, Lena?"

Lena considered, and then said frankly, "I'm asking you to tell me your truth, Marina. To tell me what you have hidden from everyone else."

Marina looked down at her remote, the silence boring into her heart, searing her soul in a sudden flare of pain.

"I grew up in a mansion in Spain," she began softly. "I had no idea who my mother was, and I adored my father. I was his princess, and I had everything I wanted. I knew nothing of pain and murder and games. I knew only my father and my father's love. He told me my mother was dead, that she had no place in my heart." She could feel Lena's gaze searing into her. "When I was a teenager, I fell in love with a teacher at my boarding school, a beautiful woman who thought I was beautiful too. I was disowned by father soon after - his love turned to hate so quickly, Lena, and suddenly I was kidnapped by my mother. She was harsh and cruel. A monster. She lived by her rules, and broke me to abide by them, taught me how to survive to keep me alive in this world. My mother's love was painful and murderous and yet I always craved it." Lena's head lowered. "But she loved me, Lena. Of that I'm sure. My mother loved me, and I spent my entire life resenting how she portrayed that love, too caught up in my resentment to even try to understand her. To know her. To realize she gave me up to try to give me a better life. To realize she would even betray her own sisters to keep me alive. She loved me, Lena, and I didn't care."

Lena's hand spread on her back, and Marina felt her eyes suddenly sting. "My mother has disappeared, Lena. I have searched for her, and it has become increasingly clear that where she has gone, I cannot follow. I fear the worst." Marina's vision was suddenly foggy. "I fear my mother is dead, and Lena, I never knew her. I would not allow the same to happen to that little girl."

The words hung in darkness, and Marina closed her eyes, said nothing when she felt Lena's warm embrace circle around her, enclosing her in affection.